The Clog

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In which an especially avant-garde spam comment about Justin Bieber, skateboarding, and (mostly) misused words inspires our spam poets to go above and beyond, into the realm of experimental diptychs and spoken word. It's weird.

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Perhaps our biggest get yet: a world exclusive look at the fake website Melky Cabrera's PR team tried to throw together for a fictitious supplement.

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Credit is due, belatedly and meh-ly, to both Augusta National and Condi Rice. They did, after all, break one of the longest-running and most embarrassing ass-backwards anti-traditions in sports. But did  Augusta National's first female member really have to be a war-boner'ed former Secretary of State?

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The late Tony Scott mostly made ultra-frenetic, high-gloss action movies, and made them very well. But he also directed one mostly lousy movie about baseball and one of the most memorable sports-related movie scenes of all time.

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In which our hero returns to Manchester City against all odds. Then he steals a photographer's lens, like a big jerk.

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SYH

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Josh Willingham has had an excellent season in Minnesota. However he hits, though, Willingham boasts one of baseball's foremost meat-compound surname. Here, for your consideration, are several of his meat-compound forebears, from Rick Eagerbeef to Al Turkee-Upforit.

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It took 75 years, but the U.S. Men's Soccer team finally won a game in Mexico thanks to a 1-0 win in a skeleton-crew friendly on Wednesday night at Estadio Azteca. The result was about as meaningful as meaningless games get.

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The Baltimore Bohemians have completed their exhausting, invigorating, harrowing and awesome inaugural season, which means that Bohs co-chief Joe Tirabassi's season-long diary of the team is coming to an end as well. With a keg party, in the rain.

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How do you cap off a spellbinding, two-week spectacle of sporting endeavour, subtlety, skill, brilliance, unity and raw emotion while simultaneously reminding the world that it all happened in the UK? The answer, at least according to the Olympic closing ceremony’s creative director Kim Gavin, is with an unstructured gallimaufry of tasteless performances, chintzy melodrama and high camp. Such a shame.

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Not to brag or anything, but we get press releases all the time. But one press release we had never gotten, at least before Sunday, was one announcing the casting of Metta World Peace as a "vampire boss" in a B movie. Thankfully, that has been remedied.

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