The Clog

The homemade rap anthem for Florida Gulf Coast University's upstart basketball team is, finally, just what it is: proof that someone can sound less impressive over Tyga's "Rack City" beat than Tyga, that young women are doing gremlin-y Nicki Minaj imitations into dorm-room mics, and a reminder the YouTube has a lot of stuff on it. But, in its giddy and glorious jankiness and just-in-time opportunism, it's also just about perfect for the NCAA Tournament's greatest upstart team, and kind of perfect in general.

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It was announced yesterday that Dodgers shortstop Hanley Ramirez will have surgery and miss 10 weeks after injuring his thumb diving for a ball. For most fans, this was a hilarious story about the most underachieving member of the most underachieving team in the league. For fantasy owners, it was time to grieve. 

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There's no real reason why the dolphin in the Miami Dolphins logo needed to be wearing a football helmet. But that doesn't mean there's a reason for the Dolphins' new logo to take that helmet off. Will no one think of the aquatic mammals?

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Ben Tausig is back with Chicken Soup for the Cruciverbalist's Soul: Spring Training edition

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Join us, won't you, in the annual college basketball-related bracket humiliation ritual? You just might learn something about the limits of your knowledge and the futility of information in the face of college basketball-related randomness. But, like, in a fun way.

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Sometimes, victory drops right into your hands. And then, sometimes, defeat rebounds right in your face. 

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In tribute to the huffy but unassailable nihilism of Bleacher Report co-founder Bryan Goldberg's open letter to the haters, we offer a slideshow of that email's proudest moments, with appropriate images.

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#MULTIPLE#

Getting to yes with the assaultive but oddly charming Energy Drink Tie-Dye uniforms that Adidas unveiled for the NCAA Tournament.

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The “Official Hangout of March Madness” boasts more than 20 sauces and seasonings for fans to dip, dunk, and devour to ease the pain of watching their brackets disintegrate. But fans should be aware that the chicken they’re eating may have also been dunked in feces.

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Another year older, another year of trying to figure out the Basenji Dog Secret. The internet's hard-spamming robot chorus is here to help. 

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