When Russ Springer Starts Acting A Fool...

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What do you know about Mike Lamb and Chris Burke and what they're about? In 2012, probably not very much. Maybe that they were on the waiver wire in your National League-only fantasy baseball league during the baroque, "Mars, Bitches" early period of George W. Bush's second term. Maybe you remember nothing about them at all, which makes some sense given that they were worth 3.7 Wins Above Replacement between the two of them in 16 combined Major League seasons. But in 2005, Lamb and Burke—and Brad Ausmus and Brandon Backe and Adam Everett and Willy Taveras—were all important enough parts of a World Series-bound Houston Astros team to make it into Paul Wall's "What You Know About Brad Ausmus (Know The Lidge Remix)," which was later retitled "They Don't Know (World Series Mix). The Houston rapper's tribute to his team is impressively comprehensive—Taveras gets shouted out twice; Backe is dapped for "[not] playing no games"—and apparently quite heartfelt.

[Update: this is where the embedded media was supposed to be, and isn't, due to technical difficulties. Click here to listen, I guess. Pay attention and you'll catch a very bold boast about what happens when Orlando Palmeiro "starts pinch-hitting"]

There's no real reason to be listening to this in December, of course. There's also no real reason not to. No Astros-related sequels have yet been released by MC Sparklemouth, which is disappointing. The Classical is in no way insisting that Wall do a "Best of Both Worlds"-y collabo with Carlos Lee—although scouts have long raved about how much Lee sounds like K-Ci from Jodeci— but what are we to think of Wall if he stops cutting tribute songs to his team when they stop winning? It's called repping your city, Paul Wall. Look it up.

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Comments

for the breakdown of the new u of h fight song ft slim thug, bun b, and also paul wall...really!

This can't possibly be true. The conflict of interest for Bun B, who is teaching a class at Rice, is too vast. THIS SONG COULD TEAR CONFERENCE USA APART. (Although I guess it's cool if Houston is moving to the Big East) (Also Slim Thug!)

How long do I have to wait until they're in the AL West and a sliver of sense is restored? I'm glaring at you, Bud.

Little known fact: the B-side to "Hand of a Dead Body" was called "The Biggio." It spawned a dance of the same name that was never popular north of Shreveport.

First you LEAN into that pitch/when it hits you wince/we wince.