Twenty Things More Efficient At Shooting Than Kobe Bryant

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- Anybody that played Duck Hunt with the end of the Nintendo gun pressed up against the television glass

Clams spitting on a beach at low tide

- Rajon Rondo trying to hit a piñata after being blindfolded and spun around a few times

- The asteroid in Armageddon

- Your frustrated Dad at the carnival throwing softballs at those magnetized, stacked milk bottles long after you've forgotten about the giant, sawdust stuffed dragon you wanted and are standing in the middle of the midway, hungry, tired, feeling for the first time in your life how the joyous ephemera of a moment can fade.

- "Shoot For The Moon And You'll Land Among The Stars" poster manufacturers

- That guy at your office who comes around the same time every morning to shoot the shit with everyone on the way from the coffee machine back to his desk even when you and your colleagues have effectively found new and more complicated distractions to avoid making eye contact for three months now, Jesus Bruce, give it up.

- West/Jim West/Desperado

- Screaming teenagers with low blood sugar playing Call Of Duty on Xbox Live

- Old men hosing down the same spot on their driveways for four hours in July

- Storm Troopers in the entirety of their on-screen existence across the Star Wars franchise

- Registered nurses

- Redfoo and Skyblu coming up with the concept for the song “Shots”

- The over-enthusiastic people who spend months practicing their half court threes only to blow it when they are picked to shoot for a Chili's gift certificate between quarters

- A frozen yogurt store trying to sneak into the black during the coldest darn Minnesota February on record

- Eric Clapton skulking around in the steam in his bathroom singing his god awful version of “I Shot The Sheriff” making little guns with his pruney fingers

- Guys in friendly (see: bloodthirstily competitive) hockey leagues who only do slap shots and call them slappies and scream until hoarse when they get one in, the only one for the entire season

- People who yell Kobe when they throw trash in any and all garbage cans

- Sanitation workers

- Rolled up pieces of refuse 

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