Update: In light of the Junior Seau news, I feel terrible for writing this. Ugh.
Today is the greatest day in the recent sporting history of Los Angeles. Right now. This moment. Here is why:
1. The Los Angeles Dodgers are 17-7, tied with Texas for the best record in the majors. Matt Kemp has 12 home runs. Frank McCourt is no longer the owner.
2. The phony/suburban/hack Los Angeles Angels are 9-15, last in their division. Albert Pujols has 0 home runs. Mike Scioscia is still the manager.
3. The 8-seed Los Angeles Kings just steamrolled through the 1-seed Vancouver Canucks in the first round of the NHL playoffs, and are up 2-0 on 2-seed St. Louis. Meanwhile, the team’s official Twitter account is the greatest in the land.
4. The Los Angeles Lakers are up 2-0 on Denver. George Karl just called Staples Center a “broadway stage.” All is as right in Lakerdom as right can be.
5. The Los Angeles Clippers are up 1-0 on Memphis after the greatest comeback in team (NBA playoff?) history. Ralph Lawler is still calling games. Reggie Evans reigns supreme.
6. This is the first time since 1993 that the Kings, Lakers, and Clippers have all made the playoffs the same year.
7. The USC Trojans are bowl eligible.
8. Everybody hates the NFL right now, anyway.
Savor this now, Angelenos. And prepare thyselves for the inevitability of Clayton Kershaw, Drew Doughty, Andrew Bynum, Chris Paul, and Matt Barkley suffering simultaneous knee injuries tomorrow. Whatever happens, we'll always have this music video: