Tim Tebow Is (Literally) Mr. Excitement

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For a guy who is more or less an exceptionally motivated, unusually devout brisket, Tim Tebow certainly does fire people up. Football-wise, the Jets new backup/change-of-pace quarterback is just not all that important; he's a buffed-out Sage Rosenfels, skill-wise, but worse at passing and versatile enough to serve as both emergency chaplain and help out at H-back. But of course Tim Tebow isn't just a buffed-out Sage Rosenfels.

Tim Tebow is moreover and more importantly a buffed-out Sage Rosenfels who happens to have the power of a nation of prickly paranoiac religious conservatives intent on reading every critique of his passing as a rhetorical hate crime. We've been over this. Mobute has done so here, and Eric Freeman has touched upon The Tebow Thing, too. I wrote about him last week in my column for Vice. Jeff Johnson and I gamed out some possible fall-from-grace scenarios at GQ; Jeff will owe me an Edible Arrangement if I turn out to be right that Tebow will hastily marry and divorce Paz De La Huerta by Week 7. Everyone else has done this sort of speculation everywhere else. Some have even addressed his worth as a football player, I've heard, although I haven't really dove into those.

But the last word on Tim Tebow, of course, will come from Tim Tebow's own mouth. This is as it should be. For all the ways in which various self-absorbed parties have taken to Tebow as a Chauncey Gardiner-ian fool-oracle and otherwise used him as the blank, double-beef vehicle for their own issues with everything, Tebow is still his own human person. He has his own voice, which he used today in his first press availability as a member of the Jets. As Buzzfeed's Kevin Lincoln documented, when Tebow speaks, we hear something different from what we hear when others speak about Tebow. We hear a slight Florida accent, for one thing, but mostly we hear the word "excitement," just over and freaking over again, until he finally says God Bless and leaves the stage to go motivate others and perfect his craft or whatever.

Now would probably be a good time to start preparing yourself for the inevitability that this guy will serve at least one term in the United States Senate.

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Comments

Paz de la Huerta! If I was a Tebowish figure, I'd engineer my public downfall with her in a New York minute!

Tim, the question was, is this your handwriting?

Comment section singularity achieved. Keep changing da game, Ross.