This Week in Mario Balotelli: Potty Training

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Celebrities, like real people, are judged by assumptions about their behavior. That means that certain behavior can disappoint if it doesn't conform to expectations, but also that anything a person does can be read as conforming to that assumed personality. For a weirdo like Mario Balotelli, such a situation can make life increasingly difficult. How can he do anything normal when nothing he does can possibly come across that way?

Last week, Balotelli stopped by a sixth-form college in Manchester to use the bathroom. Anyone who has ever had to go really bad can sympathize—sometimes it's necessary to run into the nearest building and hope they'll let use the bathroom. His celebrity turned the pop-in into a 20-minute event, but the bare facts of the experience are not notable at all. He had to use the bathroom in his city of employment, went into the nearest building, did his business, and exchanged pleasantries with everyone.

The incident has been labeled as another zany "That's So Mario!" moment, though, which is the surest sign yet that his narrative has trumped the events of his life. He could score the winning goals in both the Champions League final and deciding Premier League match and still remain that crazy guy with the weird haircuts. As far as the public's concerned, he is now entirely celebrity.

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