They Can't All Be Winners, Part 20: Milwaukee Bucks

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The Milwaukee Bucks As They Relate to Dieter Rams’s Ten Principles of Design or: Why The Bucks Are Well-Wrought

1.) Good design is innovative.

Building a roster almost entirely out of six-foot-seven guys who can’t shoot is a building-the-plane-out-of-black-box-material gambit, but it’s definitely forward-thinking. You gotta line up the fifteen busses in order to jump over them, as Evel Knievel would say, right before gravely injuring himself.

2.) Good design makes a product useful.

The Bucks are more or less the That Guy Can Do Some Stuff All-Stars. Miles Plumlee was born to have an assistant general manager sort of begrudgingly call him useful in a scouting report.

3.) Good design is aesthetic.

There’s something pleasing about long-limbed players, of which, again, the Bucks have about thirty-seven. It is maybe the way they look like two eels forming a catapult when they shoot, or how they interrupt ostensibly clear passing lanes by going full stretch. They’re improbable and quasi-magical and therefore beautiful.

4.) Good design makes a product understandable.

There’s nothing to get about the Bucks. In the way a handsome bookshelf communicates this is for books, the Bucks communicate that they are here to win 91-85.

5.) Good design is unobtrusive.

The NBA’s middle class is more appealing in certain respects than its juggernauts. There aren’t any promos haranguing you about how YOU JUST CANNOT MISS the upcoming Bucks game; the team isn’t ballyhooed as if it were an advancing army of wraith horsemen. They play a lot of low-stakes basketball that is moderately enjoyable to watch most of the time.

6.) Good design is honest.

Milwaukee is a lovely city that isn’t concerned—looking at you, Syracuse—with trying to punch above its weight. No one on the Bucks is trying to sell the fans some bullshit about title contention.

7.) Good design is long-lasting.

The Bucks have a young core, or something. The new owners seem like greedy twats who would move the team to Belize if they thought they could get an extra eight bucks per game in gate revenue, though.

8.) Good design is thorough down to the last detail.

There’s a real vision being implemented, and management isn’t half-assing it. The team’s best players are all around the same age; they all fit a certain deliberate-yet-athletic style that Jason Kidd is trying to implement. The plan might not work, but it’s exceedingly coherent.

9.) Good design is environmentally friendly.

Deer live in the woods. Done and done.

10.) Good design is as little design as possible.

Giannis Antetokounmpo weighs the least amount of pounds a person as tall as he is can weigh.

In conclusion, the Bucks are at best-designed team since the 1973 Buffalo Braves ran out a starting lineup of coke-white 606 universal shelving unit components.

Previously on TCABW: Charlotte Hornets | Philadelphia 76ers | Houston Rockets | Los Angeles Lakers | Dallas Mavericks Indiana Pacers | Oklahoma City Thunder | Memphis Grizzlies | Chicago Bulls | Washington Wizards Cleveland Cavaliers Brooklyn Nets New York Knicks Denver Nuggets Miami Heat Los Angeles Clippers Atlanta Hawks Utah Jazz | Sacramento Kings

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