Sport vs. Sports

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Mother Jones recently published an important article on Mitt Romney and the letter S. Specifically the way Mitt Romney says "sport" when most other Americans, even other amazingly stilted Mormon hedge-fund oligarchs, would say "sports." Stephen Colbert made fun of this glitch in the Mitt-rix (© 2012 Classical Comedy Jokes LLC).

Unfortunately, what the otherwise faultless editors at Mother Jones and the producers at Comedy Central don’t understand is that there is a crucial difference between sports that are SPORTS and sports that are SPORT, an inequality that Mitt Romney understands only too well. As a public service to Señor Romney and to fans of SPORT and SPORTS everywhere, we have created a printable, wallet-sized (sort of) chart for handy reference when talking to your inferiors or superiors about their athletic activity of choice.

ATHLETIC  ENDEAVOR

IS THIS A SPORT...

OR SOME SPORTS?

Baseball (AL)

 

SPORTS

Baseball (NL)

SPORT

 

Basketball

 

SPORTS

Hockey

 

SPORTS

Soccer

SPORT

 

Pro Football

 

SPORTS

College Football

 

 

Rugby league

 

SPORTS

Rugby union

SPORT

 

Wheelchair rugby

 

SPORTS

Tennis

SPORT

 

Badminton

SPORT

 

Table Tennis

SPORT

 

Ping Pong

 

SPORTS

Sprinting

 

SPORTS

Long-distance running

SPORT

 

Medium-distance jogging

 

SPORTS

Darts

 

SPORTS

Reading analog clocks

SPORT

 

Bocce Ball played by old Italian men

 

SPORTS

Bocce Ball played by drunk college students

SPORT

 

Beirut

 

SPORTS

Dressage

SPORT

 

Rodeo

 

SPORTS

Lucha Libre

 

SPORTS

Boxing

SPORT

 

Ballroom Dancing

SPORT

 

Celebrity Ballroom Dancing

 

SPORTS

MMA

 

SPORTS

Unmixed martial arts

SPORT

 

Horse races

SPORT

 

Zeta-money-laundering-horse races

 

DEPORTES

Polo

SPORT

 

Water Polo

 

SPORTS

Bike Polo

SPORT

 

Jai-alai

 

SPORTS

Contract Bridge

 

SPORTS

Aztec Ball Game

 

SPORTS

Lacrosse

SPORT

 

Cycling

SPORT

 

NASCAR

 

SPORTS

Competitive jaywalking

 

SPORTS

The X Games

 

SPORTS

Strongest Man contests that involve weights

SPORT

 

Strongest Man contests that involve lifting cars, or women in bikinis

 

SPORTS

Timber sports

 

SPORTS

Roller Derby

 

SPORTS

Golf

SPORT

 

Mini-Golf

 

SPORTS

Maxi-Golf* (speculative)

SPORT* (speculative)

 

Competitive eating

 

SPORTS

Regular eating

SPORT

 

Smash Brothers, any variety

SPORT

 

Iománaíocht

SPORT

 

Steeplechase

 

SPORTS

Dueling (Swords)

SPORT

 

Dueling (Pistols)

 

SPORTS

Winter Biathlon

SPORT

 

Street Fighter II Turbo

 

SPORTS

Mutant League Hockey

SPORT

 

Mutant League Football

 

SPORTS

Highland Games

 

SPORTS

Invented, odds and dice-based tabletop sports

SPORT

 

Internet Lebron James-bashing

 

SPORTS

Warhammer 40k

 

SPORTS

Roller hockey played in a rink

SPORT

 

Roller hockey played in the street

 

SPORTS

Roll Bounce danceoff

SPORT

 

Flyfishing

SPORT

 

Deep sea fishing

SPORT

 

Competitively attending Phish concerts

 

SPORTS

Identify theft

SPORT

 

Moshing

 

SPORTS

Skanking first-wave ska

 

SPORTS

Skanking second-wave ska or later

SPORT

 

Depression-style dance marathons

 

SPORTS

Golden Tee

SPORT

 

Keeping your hand on a car or truck for a radio promotion

 

SPORTS

Checkers

SPORT

 

Inventing new ways to praise Vin Scully in verse

 

SPORTS

Shared armrest jostling

 

SPORTS

Secretly real Renaissance Fair reenacting

SPORT

 

Downhill skiing

SPORT

 

Uphill skiing

 

SPORTS

Capture the flag

 

SPORTS

Hopeful obituary watching

SPORT

 

 

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Comments

"Competitively attending Phish concerts" made me laugh. Definitely SPORTS.

Ping-pong is sport. SMDH.