Spam Poetics: Three Spam Poems By @Classicalebooks

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We've got something of a problem with spam comments over here, we know. In a perfect world, we would of course not have all these spam comments, and all of us would not need to read articles about sports in order to find outrageously great deals on bootleg Oakley sunglasses. But in the spirit of creative recuperation, and because there is some really great random English and semi-English in these spam comments, we're going to mine these comments for their moments of poetry. As long as there are spam comments, there will be these poems. If you find poetic spam moments in our comments section and are moved to compose, please feel free to email Dave. Today's poems are by Mario Monrroy, two time PEN-Faulkner Award winner and the person behind @Classicalebooks. The first installment can be found here.

1. Perhaps Nick

making major waves in the Riviera

where I could dissolve my frustration in the beauty and grandeur of their

online sales shop


joint full of ethnic flavor

derrick rose shoes

kobe shoes

may I ask which girls can resist it?


Would a red-soled stiletto by any name other than Christian Louboutin look as sweet?


Nick Markakis


2. More

I’m certainly tired of it

more editorials, a front row seat at Coach Outlet, a Teen Vogue cover,

teens usually lead an active life


Instead of writing anything else, I just want to

make Laundry detergent


monster beats


3. Nobody's Death

Even though she could not シャネル 店舗 rise from bed, she did not complain about anything

Instead, she sat on the bed

the famous Hollywood "It Girl" Paris Hilton

searing self-doubt and dark moods of despondency.

dismal sense of inadequacy


Between waltzing in and out of Hermes Wallets premieres, setting sail on mega-yachts, and prancing around the Hotel du Cap

He’d ingested a woman

“a famous beauty" and "a kept woman."

a wonderful girl



is back in Washington from buhushfe4545 a three-state trip courting young voters

made his way to the Jefferson Hotel just minutes after returning

She was crying, she was distraught

‘Somebody better be pregnant or dying.

She said, 'nobody's dying,'

Gingrich pledged to do all he could


“After 43 primaries and caucuses,buhushfe4545 many long days and not a few long nights, I

can say with confidence, and gratitude, that

A better America begins tonight”

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These are so, so good. Also, I love @ClassicalEbooks.

*returns dap*