Spam Poetics: Hey You Used To

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Of all the things that The Classical has brought to the internet, good and bad, no achievement is prouder or more transparently the result of the internet than our periodic spam poetry series. Due to our inability to keep our comments section from clogging with AMAZING DEALS on knockoff luxury goods (and, oddly and increasingly and hugely disconcertingly, advice on nail fungus and genital warts), spam comments are still an issue. And as long as that's the case, we will make them into poems. 

From the very first installment, Spam Poetics has delivered a heady combination of batshit language and helpful, money-saving deals on Beats By Dre headphones. They have been political. They have offered innovative urban planning solutions. They have offered keen perspective on inequality, and minor league soccer. There was the one comment that used the phrase "Bieber will yield his skateboard," and the two magisterial recuperations that followed. But there had not, until now, been a contribution from me, one of the people who spends the most time with these comments. The poem below, "Hey You Used To," is composed entirely of the opening lines of spam comments I deleted earlier today.

You can look for those comments or ones very much like them again sometime soon, and thanks as ever for your patience with the jankiness. We will continue to try to turn it into something finer. What else is spam for, if not to eat.

Hey You Used To

Car shipping
Golf netting
We are very grateful for this
This is my first opportunity.
I am looking for and I love.

You cannot possibly watch.
Hey you used to write
Hey you used to write
Hey you used to wsdfdrite

Hey you used to write
Condooms Durex
Raspberry Keytones
Steel buildings Alaska
Mold in basement
Filipino Filipina
Whiplash compensation
Cupons de desconto
Family friendly web directory
Nail fungus
Love spells

These pages aren't what they acclimated to be.
Surely there are something.
As long as I'm not missing something obvious, it's good.
Body lift.

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