Scenes From A Depilation: Talking To Ted Berg About Keith Hernandez's Stache-Shearing

Share |

"It's been a while since the sun has visited that lip," Mets play-by-play announcer Gary Cohen said to Keith Hernandez in the booth during Thursday's Mets game. "That lip," of course, is Hernandez's upper one, which has—for the last couple decades and change—been home to one of the most transcendently reliable and existentially, cosmically right mustaches in the history of sports. The mustache was there during Hernandez's days as a star player in New York, and remained as he transitioned into a fusty, fundamental-obsessed beat poet/color commentator on SNY. Hernandez has sighed and free-associated and generally amused himself and others through desultory Mets losses and the occasional win, all with that mustache steadfastly in place and, somehow, palpable even when offscreen. Even after Hernandez shaved it on Thursday afternoon, in exchange for a $10,000 donation from Schick to a children's charity in his mother's name. Even afterwards, though, the mustache was oddly present in its absence, thanks to the pale upper lip that, as Cohen mentioned, has been innocent of sunlight pretty much since Ronald Reagan was President. 

Ted Berg, who does all kinds of things at SNY and still finds the time to keep an excellent blog there about the Mets and sandwiches, was at the de-mustachery, and hosted the live videocast of the event. You can add sarcasto tone quotes to the word event at your discretion; it was an event to me, for reasons I touch upon in my Hall of Nearly Great essay on Hernandez and reasons that are obvious to anyone familiar with Hernandez's work on the field, in his "Just For Men" ads, or on Seinfeld. We talked to Ted about what he saw at the depilation.

For those who were unable to witness the actual act of de-mustachery, either on video or in person, could you please describe the scene at Citifield during the event? What was the mood? . 

The best thing I could compare it to is the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island on the Fourth of July—obviously not on that scale, but it was that type of event. There were a shocking number of fans and media gathered around the stage, clearly excited for the novelty of seeing Keith Hernandez without his mustache for the first time in 25 years and the joy of seeing Keith Hernandez do pretty much anything. But—and maybe I’m projecting this—it felt, much like with the hot-dog eating contest, that there was a collective understanding we were participating in a rather grim spectacle. I mean, it was a hell of a mustache.

You've done plenty of work in front of a camera in the past, with such uncompromising types as Bob Ojeda and Jack From Jack In The Box. How do those challenges compare with this one? What is, after all, the appropriate tone to take when a famously mustachioed baseball player has his mustache removed, in public, for charity?

Look: I vernacularized the phrase, “we’re jonesin’ for sum’thin’ diff’rent” in my work alongside Jack, but that was a decade ago now. I’ve got to evolve as an on-camera personality, so I can’t exactly announce that the world is jonesin’ for sumthin’ diff’rent on Keith’s face. I tried instead to capture the solemnity of the occasion—parting with a familiar friend—while presenting some hope that the mustache could return or maybe it would turn out Keith looked really cool without the mustache.

You went with "Keith Hernandez's mustache... is history" as your call. Did that just come to you, or did you have some sort of Jack Buck-ian punch-list of possible phrases?

The gravity of the moment overtook me. If you say I said that, I believe you. But I was operating on pure adrenaline.

Keith, for his part, seemed pretty bemused by the whole thing, although there were some moments during the shave itself in which he seemed almost distraught. He does seem to take his mustache seriously, as of course he ought.

I don’t work with Keith every day so I can’t claim to know him intimately, but every interaction I’ve had with him suggests he understands his own Keith Hernandez-ness as well as anyone. And if you’ve paid attention to the build up to the event, Keith’s mostly been either downplaying the importance of the mustache or going with the jokes. But there was a moment, between his photo opportunity after the shave and his on-camera interview with me, when he said, “I still haven’t seen it.” I thought that was funny, since he was de-mustached on video in front of a huge crowd but nowhere near a mirror. Now this thing that’s been on his face for a quarter century and has become very much a part of his identity is gone, and thousands of people have seen what he looks like without it before he has. Oh, to be Keith Hernandez.

If the Mets win the rest of their games after Hernandez gets rid of his mustache, do you think tabloid Mets-trollers will cite clubhouse sources expressing passive-aggressive displeasure that he didn't shave it earlier?

Probably, but that was a winning mustache.

Share |


Incredible overview, I'm certain you're getting an awesome reaction. best chiropractor

Spot up for this write-up, I must say i feel this website wants considerably more consideration. I’ll more likely once more to learn to read a great deal more, thanks for that information. Buy Travel organizers bag sets and pouch in Dubai UAE

Howdy. I discovered your web journal utilizing msn. This is an extremely elegantly composed article. I'll make certain to bookmark it and return to peruse a greater amount of your helpful information. A debt of gratitude is in order for the post. I'll certainly return. merchant account for online lottery

Incredible post I might want to thank you for the endeavors you have made in composing this fascinating and learned article. Corex floor protector

There are many content in the marketplace around this particular, I think getting there reference might encounter decided to get this to place or even article truly informative. Practical aim phrase this post is harmful. Merely I must enunciate how a data supplied the following has been special, merely repair much more in close proximity to full, helping along with other previous info obtain recently been actually excellent. The actual items you’ll take pleasure in carressed let us discuss important, thus My partner and i definitely will place several of the info right here to construct this kind of really perfect for completely the particular newbie’s here. Thank you these records. In fact beneficial! Movers Long Distance San Diego

You have a good point here!I totally agree with what you have said!!Thanks for sharing your views...hope more people will read this article!!! TRYTON Side Branch Stent

I like this post,And I guess that they having fun to read this post,they shall take a good site to make a information,thanks for sharing it to me. Auto Repair Financing Bad Credit

greetings was simply checking whether you minded a remark. i like your site and the thme you picked is super. I will be back. VIP Financing Solutions Reviews

Can I simply say what a aid to search out somebody who really is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know methods to deliver a difficulty to mild and make it important. Extra people need to learn this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant imagine youre no more popular since you undoubtedly have the gift. 토토사이트

I am very much pleased with the contents you have mentioned. I wanted to thank you for this great article. FS 19 mods

This is such an awesome asset, to the point that you are giving and you give it away for nothing. I cherish seeing sites that comprehend the benefit of giving a quality asset to free. It is the old what circumvents comes around schedule. private detective

Love what you're doing here folks, keep it up!.. 먹튀

Really great post. I just unearthed your online journal and needed to say that I have truly delighted in perusing your blog entries. Any way I'll be subscribing to your food and I trust you post again soon. Huge much obliged for the valuable data. Justfog Q16

Thanks for your post. I’ve been thinking about writing a very comparable post over the last couple of weeks, I’ll probably keep it short and sweet and link to this instead if thats cool. Thanks. womens fashion

I might want to say this online journal truly persuaded me to do it! Much appreciated, great post. darknet market

i adore perusing this article so beautiful!!great work! Coaching Frankfurt

This is truly a decent and instructive, containing all data furthermore greatly affects the new innovation. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing it como ganhar seguidores no instagram

This is truly a decent and instructive, containing all data furthermore greatly affects the new innovation. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing it Douglas County traffic ticket attorney

Great site, Distinguished criticism that I can handle. Im pushing ahead and may apply to my present place of employment as a pet sitter, which is exceptionally charming, yet I have to extra grow. Respects. mens fashion

Im no master, however I trust you simply made a phenomenal point. You unquestionably completely comprehend what youre talking about, and I can genuinely get behind that. free stuff by mail

Hi I am so pleased I found your web journal, I truly found you by slip-up, while I was watching on google for something else, Anyways I am here now and could simply get a kick out of the chance to say thank for a huge post and an inside and out amusing site. Kindly do keep up the immense work. forskolin extract

happy wheels
This is cool post and i enjoy to read this post. your blog is fantastic and you have good staff in your blog. nice sharing keep it up.

I truly awed after read this on account of some quality work and useful contemplations . I just wanna express profound gratitude for the author and want you to enjoy all that life has to offer for coming!. flat sandals

High top sneaker
The web site is lovingly serviced and saved as much as date. So it should be, thanks for sharing this with us.

Web Design Agency
Easily, the article is actually the best topic on this registry related issue. I fit in with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your next updates. Just saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the fantasti c lucidity in your writing. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates.

Positive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting? I'm pleased I discovered it though, ill be checking back soon to find out what additional posts you include. Togel Singapura

It simplifies the enation and goes out and searches for relevant web sites to your fame that control to pay for lynchpin do not forget, it does all the acquisition for you Trust follow | publish Articles

As the power of PageRank is getting lower, flow metrics matter. Google gives a huge importance to metrics like domain authority, trust flow or citation flow as a ranking factor. high trust flow

Your blogs further more each else volume is so entertaining further serviceable It appoints me befall retreat encore. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. top south florida pr firms

Air Conditioning Installation
Lobortis semper eros dapibus viverra maecenas auctor ultrices proin quam, leo fringilla ut fringilla eleifend orci donec.

This is an incredible rousing article.I am basically satisfied with your great work.You put truly exceptionally accommodating data... assisted living in plymouth meeting

With the reliable and honest Instagram followers, you acquire quicker increase. You’ll also get get admission to to immediate credibility of the emblem on Instagram instagram likes kaufen

i was simply skimming along and happened upon your web journal. simply needed to say great web journal and this article truly helped me. healthypair

I am all that much satisfied with the substance you have said. I needed to thank you for this extraordinary article. Running shoes store Charleston SC

This article gives the light in which we can watch the truth. This is exceptionally decent one and gives indepth data. A debt of gratitude is in order for this decent article. gutter cleaning Charleston SC

Your articles help me a lot in all mediums of subjects. best window tint

You know your activities emerge of the group. There is something exceptional about them. It appears to me every one of them are truly splendid! poker online terpercaya

It’s never too late to improve your information and your contents inspire me. domino q

Postcards with Transmission are one of the most famous marketing tools. cheap brochure prints

I’m flattened for your blogs writings and blogs as well. Zum Testsieger

The Fleshlight launch is a undying innovation of Fleshlight that will create for its customers truely limitless blowjobs.

Awesome web journal you have here. You'll find me taking a gander at your stuff regularly. Spared! house cleaning services near me

They also send out all their new lists to their current subscribers, as well as other SEO freebies that help my sites in the SERPS, so it is worth keeping an eye on your email. Cheapest SEO Pricing

Your computer is rattling instructive and your articles are wonderful. fruit

The substance you are penning blows out my nous. Partner visa australia

I am extremely appreciated for this online journal. Its a useful subject. It help me all that much to tackle a few issues. Its chance are so phenomenal and working style so fast. porn cccam server

The software become circulated initially by means of a set of builders led by an Argentine clothier named Sebastian. With plenty of assist from the open supply network of builders, the app become released, and already gained the nickname the Netflix pirate.

Much obliged for sharing the data, keep doing awesome... I truly delighted in investigating your site. great asset... real soundcloud likes

glass dining tables will always be the best design and option that i would choose for our dining room, austin natural mattress

The vast majority of software is composed in extreme stage software dialects which may be not so much troublesome but rather more green for developers, which implies more like a natural dialect.. download drivers