Make Me Feel Pretty, War Machine

Share |

For reasons that should be obvious, some professional MMA fighters don’t like me. Plenty of people don’t like me, but MMA fighters are the only ones to have gone to extreme lengths to make sure I know about it.

Notable instances include the time that pro wrestler turned meat-block turned shitty MMA fighter Bobby Lashley offered one of my then-superiors money in exchange for my home address; the time laughably incompetent steroid cheat Josh Barnett got in a colleague’s face because he thought my colleague was me; and the time several members of the perma-teenaged Cesar Gracie crew warned some other colleagues of mine that I was going to get beat down (or something) if I didn’t watch my mouth and/or keyboard. Thankfully, I have yet to be assaulted by a MMA fighter, professional or otherwise. They’ve had their chances to be sure, but none have dared to face the pain/step to this.

Believe me, I think this is all as stupid as you do. I thought it so stupid that I didn’t think it could get any stupider. This was what I thought, and I thought it because a MMA fighter who legally changed his name to War Machine, was kicked out of the porn industry for being too fucking crazy and later did a year in prison for felony assault had not yet decided that he wanted to beat me up, for no reason beyond me being a total gay pussy homo-tron or something to that effect. And then that happened and kept on happening and we all reassessed how stupid a thing could be.

He seemed upset by my Twitter bio, but it’s otherwise sort of tough to tell where it all came from. The thing remained stupid and became interesting only when Mr. Machine offered to fly me out to “spar” with him at his San Diego gym. I thought the proposition stupid even by the standards of stupidity already set forth, but noted Classical-ist Tim Marchman saw an opportunity for me to take advantage of Mr. Machine’s generosity and turn this surefire misadventure into the greatest profile ever written. I assume he regarded the possibility of me getting my ass kicked by a crazy person to be a bonus.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. Mr. Machine disregarded my stipulations (full access, interview time and GOOD fish tacos to be paid for in full by Mr. Machine) and declared that he was done “toying” with me. Given that Mr. Machine’s Twitter bio plainly states he does “Alpha Male shit”, I consulted the Bro Gods (I can’t give away all the identities, but Papa John Schnatter, Jose Canseco and Mike Rice are on the supreme council) and was told that “toying” with someone over Twitter is, in fact, not at all Alpha Male shit. Actually, it is the opposite of Alpha Male shit. So, yes, I can report that Mr. Machine did something that is so Raven.

However, it’s not all bad news, at least not on this end. Mr. Machine, a former employee of Las Vegas’ premier alternative gay nightclub Krave, wanted to “toy” and “spar” with me, and I have no choice but to be flattered. I’m going to go feel pretty and make myself some fish tacos.

Share |

Comments

I am glad to locate your recognized method for composing the post. Presently you make it simple for me to comprehend and actualize the idea. Much obliged to you for the post.  Link Building Services

Regular visits listed here are the easiest method to appreciate your energy, which is why why I am going to the website everyday, searching for new, interesting info. Many, thank you  booklet printing

Carpet World Flooring is a retailer and installer of wall-to-wall carpets, quality laminated flooring, luxury vinyl flooring and engineered wooden flooring. VINYL FLOORING SOMERSET WEST

Thanks for posting this info. I just want to let you know that I just check out your site and I find it very interesting and informative. I can't wait to read lots of your posts. تحصیل پزشکی در انگلستان

Should you feel find it difficult to, you undoubtedly is not able to; If you don't intend, to have failing. Things are subject to intellect, reduction of hundreds exercises are hopeless prior to starting. جستجوی وکیل

Wow this was amazing. I was just about to look for some expert and educative content like this, I am grateful that I have frequented here! قیمت طراحی سایت

Very good points you wrote here..Great stuff...I think you've made some truly interesting points.Keep up the good work. detectives baratos

I know this website gives quality based posts and other material, is there any other website which presents these data in quality? Car Title Loans

That appears to be excellent however i am still not too sure that I like it. At any rate will look far more into it and decide personally! Manhattan Capital

Marquage de vehicule Essonne, Paris, fabrication et pose de publicité sur votre véhicule utilitaire ou voiture. pub voiture, flocage voiture, covering, stickers Car wrap

Conseiller et orienter nos clients, apporter des solutions innovantes afin de valoriser votre image, mettre en place des actions de communication adaptées, c’est ce à quoi nous tentons de répondre pour soutenir votre activité. ESR

I recently noticed your website back i are generally looking through which on a daily basis. You’ve got a loads of information at this site so i actually like your look to the web a tad too. Maintain the best show results! Car Equity Loans Miami

Think about working with the finest as nothing compares to UA Contracting experience transforming our clients’ tired or underutilized space into a welcome retreat.

I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style of blogging. I added it to my favorites blog site list and will be checking back soon. Please check out my site as well and let me know what you think. Investigadores privados

If you need to know about best fake mail generator Websites then this article’s collection should help you. There are many disposable email generator on the internet. They provide unlimited email addresses without any verification. You are allowed to use temp mail for email signup, newsletter, email verification purpose.

Thanks, that was a really cool read! Detective

http://acl-ng.org I really enjoyed reading this post, big fan. Keep up the good work andplease tell me when can you publish more articles or where can I read more on the subject?

Man's lives, such as uncontrolled huge amounts, definitely not while countries furthermore reefs, challenging to seismic disturbance upward perfect apply. Creation site internet

Carpet World Flooring is a retailer and installer of wall-to-wall carpets, quality laminated flooring, luxury vinyl flooring and engineered wooden flooring. CARPETING

I am glad you take pride in what you write. This makes you stand way out from many other writers that push poorly written content. Agencia Detectives privados

ACEPC AK1 Mini PC is a desktop PC with Intel Celeron J3455, up to 4GB of RAM and up to 2T of EXTERNAL storage (HDD) into a a case that’s similar to HP’s.

Great content material and great layout. Your website deserves all of the positive feedback it’s been getting. Private detective

If you need to take a look through the futur in order to take important decisions, so you can call to 0892 22 20 22 for a voyance gratuite en direct sans attente. This is for meet a fortune-teller (voyante) able to deliver you answers for all your questions, by using esoterism and divinatory arts.

Stunning! Such an astonishing and accommodating post this is. I ridiculously adore it. It's so great thus wonderful. I am quite recently astonished. I trust that you keep on doing your work like this later on too. upvc roof lanterns

Stunning! Such an astonishing and accommodating post this is. I ridiculously adore it. It's so great thus wonderful. I am quite recently astonished. I trust that you keep on doing your work like this later on too. upvc roof lanterns

Three are usually cheap Ralph Lauren available for sale each and every time you wish to buy. ShowBox

Awesome blog. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. Keep up the good work! detective Madrid

Nice to read your article! I am looking forward to sharing your adventures and experiences. Detectives Madrid

Thanks for the blog loaded with so many information. Stopping by your blog helped me to get what I was looking for.
Detectives privados Madrid

I think this is an informative post and it is very useful and knowledgeable. therefore, I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article.
informático forense Madrid

This book gives you step wise extensive guide along with three golden lessons that helps your kids learn all the right things about survival vacation rental grand cayman

I truly awed after read this in light of some quality work and educational contemplations . I just wanna express profound gratitude for the essayist and want you to enjoy all that life has to offer for coming!. travel management company

 If someone week i really ashen-haired not actually pretty, whether you will lite grope a present, thought to follow us to displays bursting with ends of the earth considerably? Inside the impeccant previous, sea ever have dried-up, my hubby and i only may very well be with all of you connected thousands of samsara. custom patches

Much obliged for setting aside an ideal opportunity to examine this, I feel firmly about it and love adapting more on this point. On the off chance that conceivable, as you pick up mastery, would you mind overhauling your website with more data? It is greatly useful for me.  websites to buy homes

Great article with excellent idea!Thank you for such a valuable article. I really appreciate for this great information.. adwords ppc management

Greetings! This post is an in-depth product review of the Canon EOS 5D Mark III. It covers features, extras, customer buyer reviews, pros and cons. The blog is beautiful, easy to read, and the reviews are good and real. vacation

That is really nice to hear. thank you for the update and good luck.

search engine optimization

Blog or comment button coming vary soon - I will be adding a comment and blog option so that other happy and satisfied customers can leave their feedback on their  experience. IN THE MEAN TIME, if you would like to send pictures or comments on your trip to be added to this site, then please use my contact page. seo pittsburgh

Blog or comment button coming vary soon - I will be adding a comment and blog option so that other happy and satisfied customers can leave their feedback on their  experience. IN THE MEAN TIME, if you would like to send pictures or comments on your trip to be added to this site, then please use my contact page. seo pittsburgh

Blog or comment button coming vary soon - I will be adding a comment and blog option so that other happy and satisfied customers can leave their feedback on their  experience. IN THE MEAN TIME, if you would like to send pictures or comments on your trip to be added to this site, then please use my contact page. seo pittsburgh

Thank you again for all the knowledge you distribute,Good post. I was very interested in the article, it's quite inspiring I should admit. I like visiting you site since I always come across interesting articles like this one.Great Job, I greatly appreciate that.Do Keep sharing! Regards,

detectives infidelidades Madrid.

I wish more authors of this type of content would take the time you did to research and write so well. I am very impressed with your vision and insight.
detectives Madrid ciudad.

Three are usually cheap Ralph Lauren available for sale each and every time you wish to buy. voyance telephone

The information you have posted is very useful. The sites you have referred was good. Thanks for sharing..
Private Detectives agency in Madrid.

Three are usually cheap Ralph Lauren available for sale each and every time you wish to buy. informática forense Madrid

This post is really magnificent. I really like this post. It is one of the best posts that I ve read in a long time. Thanks a lot for this really good post. I really appreciate it! Pawan Kalyan New Movie

Votre avenir amour ne peut rester sans réponse. Notre équipe d'experts saura vous guider dans les méandres de votre avenir amour. Une question, une interrogation, une certaine appréhension ? N'hésitez pas à nous contacter pour enfin obtenir des révélations. mon site voyance

You re in point of fact a just right webmaster. The website loading speed is amazing. It kind of feels that you're doing any distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a fantastic activity on this subject! adibatla plots

All our work is reflected in a rigorous report by our private detectives where the client can be sure of all those facts that disturbed him and did not know in a reliable way. detectives privados

Welcome to Nighty House whose primary focus is to provide the most classy, elegant and exclusive nightwear. cotton night dress online