Make Me Feel Pretty, War Machine

Share |

For reasons that should be obvious, some professional MMA fighters don’t like me. Plenty of people don’t like me, but MMA fighters are the only ones to have gone to extreme lengths to make sure I know about it.

Notable instances include the time that pro wrestler turned meat-block turned shitty MMA fighter Bobby Lashley offered one of my then-superiors money in exchange for my home address; the time laughably incompetent steroid cheat Josh Barnett got in a colleague’s face because he thought my colleague was me; and the time several members of the perma-teenaged Cesar Gracie crew warned some other colleagues of mine that I was going to get beat down (or something) if I didn’t watch my mouth and/or keyboard. Thankfully, I have yet to be assaulted by a MMA fighter, professional or otherwise. They’ve had their chances to be sure, but none have dared to face the pain/step to this.

Believe me, I think this is all as stupid as you do. I thought it so stupid that I didn’t think it could get any stupider. This was what I thought, and I thought it because a MMA fighter who legally changed his name to War Machine, was kicked out of the porn industry for being too fucking crazy and later did a year in prison for felony assault had not yet decided that he wanted to beat me up, for no reason beyond me being a total gay pussy homo-tron or something to that effect. And then that happened and kept on happening and we all reassessed how stupid a thing could be.

He seemed upset by my Twitter bio, but it’s otherwise sort of tough to tell where it all came from. The thing remained stupid and became interesting only when Mr. Machine offered to fly me out to “spar” with him at his San Diego gym. I thought the proposition stupid even by the standards of stupidity already set forth, but noted Classical-ist Tim Marchman saw an opportunity for me to take advantage of Mr. Machine’s generosity and turn this surefire misadventure into the greatest profile ever written. I assume he regarded the possibility of me getting my ass kicked by a crazy person to be a bonus.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. Mr. Machine disregarded my stipulations (full access, interview time and GOOD fish tacos to be paid for in full by Mr. Machine) and declared that he was done “toying” with me. Given that Mr. Machine’s Twitter bio plainly states he does “Alpha Male shit”, I consulted the Bro Gods (I can’t give away all the identities, but Papa John Schnatter, Jose Canseco and Mike Rice are on the supreme council) and was told that “toying” with someone over Twitter is, in fact, not at all Alpha Male shit. Actually, it is the opposite of Alpha Male shit. So, yes, I can report that Mr. Machine did something that is so Raven.

However, it’s not all bad news, at least not on this end. Mr. Machine, a former employee of Las Vegas’ premier alternative gay nightclub Krave, wanted to “toy” and “spar” with me, and I have no choice but to be flattered. I’m going to go feel pretty and make myself some fish tacos.

Share |

Comments

I really appreciate the kind of topics you post here. Thanks for sharing us a great information that is actually helpful. Good day! save

I really appreciate the kind of topics you post here. Thanks for sharing us a great information that is actually helpful. Good day! save

Most importantly admire your do my paper for me offer, similar to your site, the trust can impart to you more magnificent blog and Thanks for such post and keep it up. has made a decent showing here to put all the data substance and data at one spot.Desnuda

Wow this was amazing. I was just about to look for some expert and educative content like this, I am grateful that I have frequented here!
voyance gratuite immediate

I am not new to blogging and really appreciate your blog. There is much original content that peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your site and keep checking you out..baen

I utilized it for a month and saw a discernible distinction in myself. Presently I don't short of going out with my companions and so forth.voyance non surtaxe

This is a good post. This post gives truly quality information. I’m definitely going to look into it. Really very useful tips are provided here. Thank you so much. Keep up the good works. recommended site

On top of article has completely distorted my brain. Truly I have never study like this kind of post but first time focus here. Really inspiring article has been shared..vidange bac à graisse paris

This is highly informatics, crisp and clear. I think that everything has been described in systematic manner so that reader could get maximum information and learn many things. official statement

Idiotic and additionally trusting people at the same time can be an obstacle, on aged and also fully grown folk assembled also will follow a complication. Age and also embryonic concern together.
comprar seguidores no instagram

I read this blog in which you are telling about Everything is not beautifull my friend suggest this blog to read write my research paper cheap It will helpfull.I read this blog in which you are telling about Everything is not beautifull my friend suggest this blog tfashion earrings
o read write my research paper cheap It will helpfull

nice bLog! its interesting. thank you for sharing.... powermgt.com

On top of article has completely distorted my brain. Truly I have never study like this kind of post but first time focus here. Really inspiring article has been shared.voyance qualité

I read this blog in which you are telling about Everything is not beautifull my friend suggest this blog to read write my research paper cheap It will helpfull in my studies.alphamalesupplement legal steroids

Beat shop online the people to run it again and not the recording studio online. That is why all we hear is this exclusive beats harmful and quality on the radio. We got to buy online the top artists on charts and stems to what is on the hip hop beats for sale and you will clearly see the neumann u87 is only for the rappers and fans. Also go to a few rap instrumentals and see that these radio quality can't pack a show without help while the mixing and mastering. exclusive beats

On top of article has completely distorted my brain. Truly I have never study like this kind of post but first time focus here. Really inspiring article has been shared.voyance gratuite

The website is looking bit flashy and it catches the visitors eyes. Design is pretty simple and a good user friendly interfaceemiratesvisit.com

I am glad to be here and read your very interesting article, it was very informative and helpful information for me. keep it up.

http://www.desertsafarisdeal.com/

I am glad to be here and read your very interesting article, it was very informative and helpful information for me. keep it up voyance par tel

On top of article has completely distorted my brain. Truly I have never study like this kind of post but first time focus here. Really inspiring article has been shared.
the woodlands certified financial planner

Thank you very much for the sharing! COOL.. DETECTIVES PRIVADOS ZAMORA

You have a liking for your articles. They really help me in some fields. I apply them in some situations. And I see they are useful. Thanks for your sharing. I hope I can read your new posts soon.visit site

This article was composed by a genuine speculation essayist. I concur a hefty portion of the with the strong focuses made by the essayist.voyance par telephone serieuse avis

I was very impressed by this post, this site has always been pleasant news. Thank you very much for such an interesting post. Keep working, great job.
Handyrücknahme & Recycling

I need to to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely really liked every part of it and i also have you saved to fav to look at new information in your site.
Server

Please continue this great work and I look forward to more of your awesome blog posts.
Patrick McCulley

This is a good post. This post gives truly quality information. I’m definitely going to look into it. Really very useful tips are provided here. Thank you so much. Keep up the good works. Freight Forwarding

There are a number of plays of food show. This show is the greater podcast that can be watched at YouTube also. You would also like to listen about the Company where I do job which provides best creative writer India which can make your show more popular. pink flower emoji

I need to to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely really liked every part of it and i also have you saved to fav to look at new information in your site..
write my essay

It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commentators here!
Rose McPherson

Thank you for such a well written article. It’s full of insightful information and entertaining descriptions. Your point of view is the best among many. investigadores privados madrid

Thanks for this article very helpful. thanks. Mothers Day Flowers

On top of article has completely distorted my brain. Truly I have never study like this kind of post but first time focus here. Really inspiring article has been shared.Best Fashion Designing institute in India

On top of article has completely distorted my brain. Truly I have never study like this kind of post but first time focus here. Really inspiring article has been shared.Best Fashion Designing institute in India

I might want to thank you for the endeavors you have made in composing this article. I am trusting the same best work from you later on too. buy essay

This is a brilliant blog! I'm very happy with the comments!.. Detectives privados Madrid

Nice information, valuable and excellent design, as share good stuff with good ideas and concepts, lots of great information and inspiration, both of which I need, thanks to offer such a helpful information here.order oxyhives ca

Nice information, valuable and excellent design, as share good stuff with good ideas and concepts, lots of great information and inspiration, both of which I need, thanks to offer such a helpful information here.order oxyhives ca

Notre studio de création graphique situé dans l'Essonne 91 et Paris, conçoit vos projets de communication graphique ou publicitaire, quel que soit le support de diffusion. Création et design graphique : conception de projets visuels, identité visuelle, charte graphique, logotype, supports publicitaires imprimés ou en ligne, design et packaging produit, effets spéciaux, retouche et traitement de l'image, prise de vue, objet, signalétique. Graphiste

It is true but it's not applicable in all cases. Some times you have to do it in a banner or something.voyance tarot

Conseiller et orienter nos clients, apporter des solutions innovantes afin de valoriser votre image, mettre en place des actions de communication adaptées, c’est ce à quoi nous tentons de répondre pour soutenir votre activité. Conseil en Communication Paris

Positive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting?I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style. Thanks a million and please keep up the effective work. Detective privado

very interesting post.this is my first time visit here.i found so mmany interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion..thanks for the post! Detective Madrid

They’re also cast as heels, allegedly crafted due to the McMahon family’s belief that the far right cost Linda the election. A tag feud between these two seems a natural fit, with Darren Young cast as the good guy.SEO

This article was composed by a genuine speculation essayist. I concur a hefty portion of the with the strong focuses made by the essayist.
game cameras or hunting cameras

I am glad to locate your recognized method for composing the post. Presently you make it simple for me to comprehend and actualize the idea. Much obliged to you for the post.  Link Building Services

Regular visits listed here are the easiest method to appreciate your energy, which is why why I am going to the website everyday, searching for new, interesting info. Many, thank you  booklet printing

Carpet World Flooring is a retailer and installer of wall-to-wall carpets, quality laminated flooring, luxury vinyl flooring and engineered wooden flooring. VINYL FLOORING SOMERSET WEST

Thanks for posting this info. I just want to let you know that I just check out your site and I find it very interesting and informative. I can't wait to read lots of your posts. تحصیل پزشکی در انگلستان

Should you feel find it difficult to, you undoubtedly is not able to; If you don't intend, to have failing. Things are subject to intellect, reduction of hundreds exercises are hopeless prior to starting. جستجوی وکیل