Knowledge God: A Football Recruiting Name To Know

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Great athlete names don't come from nowhere. They're family heirlooms or in-jokes or aspirational parental statements or reflections of grandiose trends in Mormon naming folkways or bold avant-garde challenges to a world that's glutted with Marks and Dons and Jameses. Clearly, there's a backstory explaining how there came to be a person named Barkevious Mingo, say, but that backstory isn't necessarily going to explain where that name came from, or how the person with that name grew into it. Anyway, the important thing is that his name is Barkevious Mingo. The world is the world. That's the guy's name.

But it's a lot easier to tell where some names come from than others. The origin of prep football prospect Shaquille Moseley's name, for instance, is no great mystery. And that's probably true of Georgia linebacking prospect Raekwon McMillan, whose parents evidently share my taste in music. Their son, who won't graduate high school until 2014, is good enough at football already to have offers from a pair of SEC programs, and I wish him all the success in the world. But also his name just makes me feel old. Rainy Dayz, I'm sure.

How and why "Incarcerated Scarfaces" is not the soundtrack for that highlight video is a question for a higher authority than my old (so old) self. And anyway, I'm tired. I'm going to watch my stories with the closed captioning on (I don't know how anyone even understands people these days, the way they talk) and listen to some oldies. Like Supreme Clientele or something.

Thanks to Michael Sung for the tip. If there's a UGod Henderson or Eminem Gunderson being recruited by some college right now, you might as well keep it to yourself.

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This discussion is missing the advancement in Cajun-athlete-naming pioneered by Bobby Hebert: T-Bob Hebert. The New South didn't actually start until he was named.

Metairie keeps on making it, everyone else keeps on taking it.

If he ever recorded a track for a soundtrack for a weirdly bombastic documentary about high school basketball players he wouldn't even need to get John Wallace to mutter a few syllables into the mic. He could just talk to himself.

"Keep your game hot... um... get a sneaker just like y'all." TRUER WORDS, RAE. That is indeed real!

I forgot how berserk ODB was on this one. It will probably be a minute before we have to get our heads around Big Baby Jesus Shackleford signing with NC State or whatever.

Mediterranean, see y'all, the number one draft pick
Tear down the beat God, then delegate the God to see God

i really hope this kid's confirmation name is Purple Tape or The Chef