Here's Your Shaq-Pointing Gif. You Figure It Out.

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For those of us who spend much of our lives floating around on it, the internet may well be, as Homer Simpson once enthused about alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. Because it is so vast and silly and wonderful, the internet is easy to love. Because it is so atomizing and inhuman and proudly dumb, the internet can also be an intense body-and-soul bummer. It's both at once, and you already know that, so next paragraph.

Anyway, if I'm moved to ruminate on this from time to time, it's because the internet is not going anywhere, and broadly where we are all going, and because it's mostly where I live. And because it's a strange place to live: if the internet is like anything besides itself, it's something like that sprawling garbage gyre in the desolate middle of the Pacific Ocean, where garbage becomes entangled with other garbage to form a bright, rotting submerged continent, and where toxic things we made slowly break down and make their way back up the food chain and into our bodies and minds. That's not a good thing, mostly, but on the other hand, if you want to see a Korean commercial in which Robocop comes out of a television and chows down on some fried chicken, the internet is right there.

On a Friday afternoon, in a Friday afternoon mood, this all actually seems like an okay deal. We may not know each other better for being on the internet at the same time, but it is at least a place where we can meet and come up with haiku about a particular photo of Shaquille O'Neal, or otherwise goof off in hesitant harmony. The internet, to stay on Shaq for a minute, is also the place where my idle, Twitter-expressed wish for a gif of Big Shaq's self-amused/dramatic point from his Buick commercial can be answered, by American treasure @Syourh, within a matter of moments. This is maybe just another Mountain Dew bottle bobbing around in the gyre. But it belongs to all of us, now. Use it as responsibly or irresponsibly as you otherwise would.

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