Exercise Secrets of The Classical

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I hear it all the time: "David, for someone who spends so much time writing as fast as he can about sports while wearing cutoffs and t-shirts with barbecue sauce stains on them, you are really in terrific shape." And I can only say thanks, and mention my daily sit-up and push-up regimen and then sometimes add, "I am actually in pretty terrible shape, like to the point where I break a sweat feeding my turtles and count 'being on the bus' as exercise, so you're wrong, but still, thanks." And that is honest, especially the bus part, which is an awesome blast for your core. But it is not entirely honest.

It's not entirely honest because even those of us who get most of our exercise from typing, brow-furrowing and adjective usage need to stay working on our fitness. And while I can't speak for the exercise regimens of Shoals (baby), Pete (reading/bicycling) or Kate (tiny, energetic dog), I can introduce all of you to my personal trainer and fitness muse. His name is Mr. Benefitness, and he can teach you some things about some things. Let's all get yoked up, together.

This is from Everything Is Terrible, of course. For your health!

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I am actually in pretty terrible shape, like to the point where I break a sweat feeding my turtles and count 'being on the bus' as exercise, so you're wrong, but still, thanks my virtual model weight loss simulator female

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It's not entirely honest because even those of us who get most of our exercise from typing, brow-furrowing and adjective usage need to stay working on our fitness.

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I can introduce all of you to my personal trainer and fitness muse. His name is Mr. Benefitness, and he can teach you some things about some things. Let's all get yoked up, together. Venus

I'm beginning to suspect the spam commentators just may have figured out how to get past TheClassical firewall.

"You have to be careful of that right there."