It's not complicated or especially witty or profound in any way, but as late-night diversions from doing actual writing/editing work or sleep go, spoonerizing the names of various baseball players is rewarding and enjoyable enough. (Excitedly RT'ing funny responses is also, I've found, an awesome way to lose followers extremely quickly.) There's nothing unique to baseball about it -- it can be done for football players with ease, for instance, and to decent effect:
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) September 15, 2013
But there's something especially satisfying about the ways in which baseball names work for this particular thing. Bob Welch is a good old-fashioned baseball dude name, and Wob Belch is even better. Catfish Hunter is a better old-fashioned baseball dude name and... the spoonerism of his name is not something that should be said aloud ever.
So you get how this goes, and can see how it might be funny enough late at night, if probably also how it might make you want to unfollow if enough RT's along the lines of Thickie Don and Bike Mordick come down the pike in rapid succession. Which, as the TCOT dudes say after defiantly rejecting a Clearly Photoshopped birth certificate on Twitter, #SorryNotSorry, I guess.
Anyway, this is all fun enough if you're a big enough dorkwad to consider it fun, but it lacked a certain crucial visual aspect. Which is where the esteemed and estimably estimable Sorry Your Heinous comes in. A friend of the program and past contributor -- he did this important graphic -- he took it upon himself to take these goofy names and make them real. Or at least photoshop them onto the front of old baseball cards.
Friends, this is that. This is the culmination. I think we can all safely take the rest of the week off, after giving him a hearty thanks. -- DR
1) Future Stars
2) Legends of Pit Beef
3) An Improvement, Actually
4) Grit and Grind
5) Requisite Exceedingly Paranoid Hall of Famer
6) The 13th Reliever