Best American Sprotswriting, or Finding the Best Alternate Spelling for the Word "Sports"

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It's a question that everybody writing about sports has had occasion to wonder about. Obviously, the correct way to spell sports is s-p-o-r-t-s. This is important to all sportswriters, if only because it's impossible to sportswriter without those letters, in that order. All good, all well known and agreed upon. But.

But what if there were some sort of accident involving the word "sports?" In these uncertain times, we just don't know one way or another when an optimal spelling will become unavailable, or for how long it might be out. This is why, for instance, we've all agreed to use "Trump" if the phrase "warm champagne vomit" goes off-line. It's about being prepared, and it's just smart.

This is why I asked Twitter yesterday evening for help determining the optimal alternate spelling of the word sports. I asked those with an opinion to choose between SPORPS and SPORCE, both of which could do the job very well in a pinch. (Also, I really enjoy saying the former. Just really gives the lips a workout.) The internet being the internet, no one was quite willing to choose between those two. The esteemed Jason Kirk of SB Nation knew what was coming.

And he was right, I did. We did, I guess I should say, all of us with something invested in answering this question comprehensively and effectively, while there's still time and before we lose the optimal spelling for however long we might lose it for. I don't mean to alarm you, obviously, by bringing this possibility (I won't say likelihood, but the true effect of chemtrails has not yet been proven) up. But the chances are good that, if you're not already reading InfoWars, you're not even considering the possibility.

Luckily, Twitter rose to the occasion, and reminded me that as long as we have each other (and our liberty), we'll never be without an acceptable backup spelling for sports. Some answers were resourceful, conserving the same letters that comprise the word until repairs can be made:

While others showed a willingness to consider not just the question, but the entire word itself, anew:

But every response was encouraging in its own way, and a reminder that, whatever comes, we won't be left without access to one of the more important words in our shared vocabulary. Our own graphic master builder emeritus Sorry Your Heinous was kind enough to provide a graphic breaking down the different spellings.

So we're ready for what's coming, and that's good. Stay safe and be prepared, everyone.

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