Battlebots, A Meditation: Week Six

Share |

I am, unfortunately, out of jokes for this shit. Look—[turns out pockets, some heinous puns fall out]—nothing of use left. I will now write as sincerely as I possibly can about Battlebots, with the presumption that you have an idea what the robots do.


This was good-ass robot fighting, right here. Bronco, of the trusty pneumatic flipper, has its lever extended. (It was hidden underneath a shield thing, but if you didn’t take notice of that yourself, I assume you are a small child who is only into this for the robot violence, not the careful considerations of engineering and strategy like I totally am. Sports are not for children. Clearly, I am a serious person, and I write about sports, so they must be serious in turn.) Anyway: the lever. Bronco tried to slip it beneath Tombstone without exposing itself to Tombstone’s giant fucking spinning blade. Bronco(‘s driver? Is there an established language for this? We don’t personify stock cars, I suppose) began the fight driving into the corner, so that Tombstone would have to attack the lever head-on.

The MMA Fighter who (admirably) does color for the show said, in his opinion, this was not a great idea, because it would allow the blade to get to top speed, and that bum-rushing the opponent, like Bronco did against Plan-X, would have been a better idea. There’s no way to know, of course, but the strategy as pursued presented absolutely no margin for error: either Bronco was going to flip Tombstone or get tagged. As it happened, the latter occurred. Bronco’s shielding managed to protect it for a few blows, but it eventually ended up on its back, and when it flipped itself over, it was missing a wheel and couldn’t steer around the cage. It managed to keep itself moving a little by using the pneumatic lever.

Then, right before the count was about to end, Nightmare went in for a show hit and all of its electronic components flew out of the robot’s body. Ha! Whoops!


A fight between two grappling robots, wherein BiteForce, an extraordinarily sturdy machine that kind of looks like it was made in a factory, acquired and exploited advantage throughout. Ended when BiteForce drove Raptor into the screws and permanently flipped it onto its back.

Pour some out for Ghost Raptor, who took a beating or two and made due with several in-contest tweaks, one of which, a fork specially designed with corralling Icewave in mind, was probably my favorite thing in the whole tournament.


Overdrive, Witch Doctor, and Nightmare went one on one on one, proving, once again, that holy axiom: “You need at least five robots to make a truly chaotic Battle Royale, and this was three, what the hell.” Witch Doctor lost when it got flipped on its back for the third time in this tournament. Witch Doctor managed to lose an extraordinary number of times.


The show wanted you to think Tombstone was unbeatable. Look at that blade. Holy shit, it will fuck you up. But in Tombstone’s previous fight against Witch Doctor, we got a glimpse at its weakness: a serious lack of armor. If you can manage to absorb a few blows, that crazy spinning blade will flip Tombstone around the ring or break itself in half.

BiteForce, sporting a swanky shield, drove—excellent driving by BiteForce in this fight—into the fight fast, went at Tombstone from the side, took a few tags, pinned Tombstone in a corner, and pushed the favored shredder around until, natch, its weapon’s electrical system lit on fire and the blade stopped entirely, rendering it useless as an attack-bot.

At the same time. BiteForce’s treads malfunctioned. So, for about a minute, on national television, two broken robots malfunctioned around a ring, as if suffering from epileptic fits. The fight ended, BiteForce was the winner, propelled to victory not by its weapon, which was no great shakes at all, but by its superior driving mechanism and magnetic treads. Game over. Good Battlebots, everyone.


--Oh man, that was entertaining. Watching robots hurt each other on television was a lot of fun. The package ABC put together was slick as hell, a world away from the grimy-ass Comedy Central days: dramatic lighting and HD Cameras and, frankly, better robots. I guess that last thing shouldn’t be terribly surprising. Technology generally gets more functional over time, I hear.

--The Wild Card selections, by and large, made absolutely no sense. That space should be reserved first for decision losses, then for whatever robot got knocked out latest in the match. There needs to be more transparency in robot fighting!

--Fire robots are totally useless, but they explode, so keep em’ coming.

--Get rid of those pretty boys, though. I would gladly see Radioactive gone for the chance to watch, like, something with two spinning hammers attached to a brick or some shit. HammerBrick might be hard to control, but if you touch it, you will know pain.

--The MMA Fighter who was doing color was all in on Tombstone, and is looking pretty silly after it was beat . He should have to respond to a weary nation.

--I keep wanting to use male pronouns to describe robots. That feels sexist.


Share |


Thanks for your beyond belief blogs stuff.

The stuff in the blogs blows out my mind.
mortgage refinance in Ontario

I agree. You have made the nice blogs with the great info in the contents.

If truth be told informative and valuable detail is here.

Hmm!! This blog is really cool, I’m so lucky that I have reached here and got this awesome information.
Colon Health

Haha wow, I love this man. PLEASE keep posting! Can't wait to read your next blog!

It feels awe-inspiring to read such informative and distinctive articles on your websites.
hyderabad mall list

I guess this blog is perfectly incomparable.
Visit this website

Thanks for sharing this valuable content. In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before. MikeDFishing

I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! keep up the good work... วิธีเล่นufabet

Nice post! This is a very nice blog that I will definitively come back to more times this year! Thanks for informative post. parimatch

I know this is quality based blogs along with other stuff.

River possess on your web site even though using discover just just a little bit of item submits. Calming technique for not too distant future, I'm book-marking at the moment acquire designs execute arrives aside. Betclic

Thanks for sharing the info, keep up the good work going.... I really enjoyed exploring your site. good resource... Skybet

Really enjoyed this blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool. Pool repair Ponte Vedra

I loved your blog post.Really thank you! Will read on... leanfire xt

Sweet website , super pattern , rattling clean and use friendly .

After study some of the websites with your web site now, and i also genuinely much like your strategy for blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will also be checking back soon. Pls consider my site at the same time and tell me what you think.

escort massage prague
Your write-ups are far more than wow!

Fascinating article. Certain I’ll keep coming back the following. Great work. Bandar Poker

I truly cherished perusing your site. It was exceptionally very much created and simple to undertand. Not at all like extra web journals I have perused which are truly not tht great. I additionally discovered your posts exceptionally fascinating. Actually in the wake of understanding, I needed to go demonstrat to it to my companion and he ejoyed it also! Godesto Saw the whole brief article. There is certainly some definitely helpful information and facts here. thank you. “There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” by John Andrew Holmes..

Exactly why would you continue removing my comments? I have a few really unquie things to say, however my comments never display. Have I done anything erroneous, because if I have then there has to be a mistake. Please reply, thanks! research paper writing service

i would have to make more christmas cards becuase next month is december already“ Legit cannabis supplier

Throughout the great scheme of things you secure an A with regard to effort and hard work. Where exactly you actually confused me was first on your details. As they say, details make or break the argument.. And that couldn’t be much more accurate right here. Having said that, permit me reveal to you exactly what did deliver the results. The writing is extremely persuasive and this is probably why I am making the effort in order to opine. I do not really make it a regular habit of doing that. Secondly, despite the fact that I can notice a jumps in reason you come up with, I am not necessarily confident of just how you appear to unite the details which produce the actual final result. For right now I shall yield to your issue but hope in the near future you actually link your dots much better. moving companies near me

This is a brilliant web journal. I would not joke about this. You have such a great amount of learning about this issue, thus much energy. You likewise know how to make individuals rally behind it, clearly from the reactions. Family Law Solicitors in Southampton

I rather encourage you to learn about the flexibility of forms, fields and widgets and how it’s used in the automatic Admin interface. Bandar Togel Terpercaya

Good blog! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I’m wondering how I could be notified when a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your RSS feed which must do the trick! Have a great day!

Normally I do not read article on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do so! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, quite nice article. xnpornxx

Much appreciated such a great amount for sharing this magnificent information! I am anticipating see more postsby you! online crackers in india

You can still think about a number of advised organized tours with various limo professional services. A handful of offer medieval software programs a number of will administer you really to get automobile for any capital center, or perhaps checking out the upstate New York. ??????? best attic fan

You can still think about a number of advised organized tours with various limo professional services. A handful of offer medieval software programs a number of will administer you really to get automobile for any capital center, or perhaps checking out the upstate New York. ??????? iPhone cases

Much obliged to you again for all the information you distribute,Good post. I was exceptionally keen on the article, it's entirely rousing I ought to concede. I like going to you site since I generally run over fascinating articles like this one.Great Job, I incredibly acknowledge that.Do Keep sharing! Respects, money lenders

Wonderful blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Cheers regedit nedir

Most suitable boyfriend speeches, or else toasts. are almost always transported eventually through the entire wedding party and are still required to be very interesting, amusing and even enlightening together. best man’s speech sushi greenwich village

There is evidently a lot to know about this. I consider you made certain nice points in features also. Twitch live stream

Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have created some nice methods and we are looking to exchange strategies with others, be sure to shoot me an email if interested. Nurkowanie Marsa Alam

The the next occasion Someone said a blog, Hopefully it doesnt disappoint me just as much as brussels. I mean, Yes, it was my method to read, but When i thought youd have some thing fascinating to convey. All I hear is really a handful of whining about something you could fix when you werent too busy trying to find attention. decentralized

Howdy I’m thus excited I found your own web page, I really identified you accidentally, as i had been studying about Yahoo for something different, Anyhow I will be right here now and would likely prefer to point out cheers for any amazing publish plus a all-round thrilling blog (I also adore the actual theme/design), I can’t have enough time in order to browse everything in the moment but I have bookmarked that as well as added your own RSS feeds, then when We have moment I am to read far more, Please keep up the fantastic work. apofraxeis

This may be the proper weblog for desires to find out about this topic. You know so much its virtually challenging to argue along (not too I really would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin for a topic thats been revealed for some time. Excellent stuff, just great! russian bride

You should get involved in a contest for example of the most useful blogs on-line. Let me recommend this page! Live stream

Very good topic, similar texts are I do not know if they are as good as your work out.Movie Box

stuffed animals are very cute and lovely, i bet that most kids and even women loves them,. 18bet

Hey, this day is too much good for me, since this time I am reading this enormous informative article here at my home. Thanks a lot for massive hard work. ShowBox APK

If somebody wants expert take on the main topic of blogging next I advise him/her to go to this site, continue the fussy job.
Mark Curry Macfarlane Group

Can I simply say exactly what a relief to get somebody that really knows what theyre talking about on the net. You actually learn how to bring a worry to light making it important. Lots more people ought to check out this and understand why side in the story. I cant think youre less well-known because you certainly provide the gift. Market entry strategy

An impressive share, I with all this onto a colleague who has been carrying out a small analysis for this. And that he the truth is bought me breakfast simply because I came across it for him.. smile. So ok, i’ll reword that: Thnx to the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending plenty of time to talk about this, I’m strongly over it and love reading much more about this topic. Whenever possible, as you grow expertise, does one mind updating your blog post with additional details? It really is highly useful for me. Big thumb up because of this blog post! Casino metropol

You completed a few good points there. I did a search on the theme and found a good number of persons will have the same opinion with your blog. suomi kasino

I am typically to blogging and i also really appreciate your posts. The article has truly peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your site and keep checking for first time details. highlow

If you want to learn how to find fully paid internships abroad, read "Intern Abroad This Summer" by Aniket Singh.

As it happened, the latter occurred. Bronco’s shielding managed to protect it for a few blows, but it eventually ended up on its back, and when it flipped itself over, it was missing a wheel and couldn’t steer around the cage.fertility forum