Topic: This Week In Mario Balotelli

August 20, 2012

In which our hero returns to Manchester City against all odds. Then he steals a photographer's lens, like a big jerk.

May 15, 2012

Mario Balotelli provided the title-winning assist this weekend for Manchester City. In a typical redemption story, we would claim that Balotelli had learned his lesson and proved his mettle as a real professional. The truth is a little messier, because the other incidents of the day suggest Balotelli is the same person he was in April when Roberto Mancini said he’d never play for the club again.

April 10, 2012

In which our hero is terrible and becomes the devil.

April 2, 2012

In which our hero scores a really amazing goal and people trump up a controversy instead.

March 28, 2012

In which, for some reason, our hero decides to intrude on an Inter Milan press conference.

March 12, 2012

In which our hero visits a strip club, gets fined, loves his girlfriend, talks to Noel Gallagher, and seems like a fairly normal guy.

January 23, 2012

In which our hero wins his club a huge match and gets hated on. With good reason, this time.

January 17, 2012

In which our hero visits a college to use the bathroom.

January 9, 2012

In which our hero gets shouted out by British rapper Tinchy Stryder, and not just because "Balotelli" rhymes so easily with so many things.

December 20, 2011

In which our hero fights with a teammate, causes his club to take action, and proves integral to victory anyway.