Topic: This Week In Mario Balotelli

Mario Balotelli provided the title-winning assist this weekend for Manchester City. In a typical redemption story, we would claim that Balotelli had learned his lesson and proved his mettle as a real professional. The truth is a little messier, because the other incidents of the day suggest Balotelli is the same person he was in April when Roberto Mancini said he’d never play for the club again.

In which our hero scores a really amazing goal and people trump up a controversy instead.

In which our hero visits a strip club, gets fined, loves his girlfriend, talks to Noel Gallagher, and seems like a fairly normal guy.

In which our hero visits a college to use the bathroom.