Topic: Jerks

January 16, 2014

For Chicago sports fans, Jay Cutler is a problem. For the Chicago Bears, he's something like a solution to a problem that has lasted for generations. No one seems all that happy about it, Cutler very much included. In every possible way, it's complicated.

January 31, 2013

San Francisco 49ers defensive back Chris Culliver has a bigger platform than most goons from which to broadcast off-the-rack no-homo idiocy. Quite aside from the comments he made to Artie Lange on Super Bowl Media Day, there are Culliver's one million Twitter followers. Wait, what?

October 5, 2012

MMA fighter Brett Rogers beat his wife in front of his kids, which is awful. He also had the strange, nauseating gall to try to spin the experience into a redemption narrative, which is also awful. The least that anyone writing about him can do is not help him out.

June 27, 2012

John Rocker was once, if briefly, a very effective Major League pitcher. A decade or so later, he has reinvented himself as a part-time right-wing polemicist and full-time human example of the paralyzing, toxic effects of dumb fame.

February 17, 2012

Michael Jordan is a year older and probably not a year nicer or more bearable today. To celebrate, we unearth a Free Darko Klassic about playing a game of H.O.R.S.E. with the greatest, saddest player of all time.

December 22, 2011

Todd Haley has the misfortune of looking like a huge asshole. Fleece vests, intermittent shitty beard, jocko-dickwad sunglasses, things dangling on a lanyard, golf visors (the worst), even right down to being named Todd—a first name that’s been repurposed as a common noun meaning “alpha douche.” I hate dudes like Todd Haley, and that reflects poorly on me.  But Todd Haley also has the misfortune of acting like a huge asshole. While dressed in fleece vest, shitty beard, golf visors, right on down the line, which amplifies everything. His sideline demeanor as a coach was like a composite sketch of the worst possible Little League dad.