Topic: Hockey

March 27, 2013

Come with The Classical to the frozen north, where roam the bears.  You've seen the bears: they rumble-bumble, eat Cheetos, sit on couches. And sometimes they do other human-like things, like play hockey and destroy the entire planet for hockey reasons.

February 28, 2013

Finally, buddy-cop movie that's secretly a long satirical skit about the NHL, in which a mismatched pair of francophone and anglophone Canadian cops team up to solve a murder and realize, in the process, that they both really hate Gary Bettman.

February 20, 2013

Alex Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals seem a lot further from their years of happy near-transendence than they actually are. With both wins and the old joy now scarce, it's worth wondering why a great team and its great player have gotten so dull and so serious, and what got lost in the pursuit of a Stanley Cup win.

February 13, 2013

There are a lot of tricks and schemes that sports owners have tried to fill seats -- and boxscores -- for the teams they own. From Olympic sprinters turned basestealers to little people turned OBP machines, trying to game the system is as old as the sports themselves. Like these, the idea of making a sumo wrestler a hockey goalie has been bandied about for longer than most of us can remember because it hints at the larger existential questions of sports: What's fair? Is practicality important? Why is Charles B. Wang so ridiculous? 

January 7, 2013

When the puck drops in a couple weeks after four months of lockout, even less people are going to watch the hockey than did before. It's time for the NHL to finally embrace its status as a marginal sports league. Only then can hockey find its place in the sports ecosystem.

November 14, 2012

In January of 1955, a then-fledgling Sports Illustrated sent William Faulkner to a Rangers/Canadiens game at the old Madison Square Garden. The resulting essay is brief, great, and exactly as Faulkner At A Hockey Game as you'd expect.

November 5, 2012

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, currently overseeing the third prolonged labor dispute in less than 20 years, makes for an easy villain. But the awful paradoxes with which he has presented fans—a league that hurts its fans to grow its fan-base and foregoes games to increase revenue—have had an unusual effect: they've reminded fans, in the game's absence, of how much hockey is really worth.

October 3, 2012

The NHL lockout looks likely to go on for some time. Based on this (imaginary) pilot, the exceedingly nasty and fraught fashion critique television show featuring unemployed NHL buds Sean Avery and Ryan Callahan may not last very long at all. But have you ever had an imaginary television show? Like, even one episode of one?

September 25, 2012

The second and final part of our look into what NHL captains are doing without NHL hockey finds some players becoming vampires, others eating cheese with weird hair in it, and a goodly percentage working on recuperating from concussions. The usual offseason stuff, in other words, but with no actual season in the immediate future.

September 24, 2012

With the NHL locked out for, let's say, forever, the league's foremost leaders of men will have to find new ways to pass their time. These are probably not those, but considering this question may be the last hockey any of us get for some time.