Topic: America

As a surrogate for the Tea Party, WWE's Zeb Colter has railed against immigration -- Mexican, British and otherwise -- and incited a well-publicized beef with Glenn Beck. That this is all might be an elaborate allegory for the righteousness of the McMahon family's business-class brand of Republicanism tell you know all you need to know about why professional wrestling is the greatest show on earth.

When Mike Tyson was only 18, his managers used to market him on posters, reminding you that if your grandfather had missed Joe Louis, or your father Muhammad Ali, don’t you miss Tyson. But what they didn’t mention was that Joe Louis and Muhammad Ali were a boy’s dream of a fighter. Before long Tyson understood his customers a little better and modified the sales pitch. Tyson figured out, in his era, that America really craved a nightmare.

Imagine if there was a sport at which the United States should be the best in the world, but instead of being the best in the world, they lose (routinely) to Greenland. Welcome, friends, to the world of team handball.