The Classical: Articles http://theclassical.org/articles/all en A Modest Proposal On Seattle Sports http://theclassical.org/articles/a-modest-proposal-on-seattle-sports <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Sam Wilkinson </div> </div> </div> <p> When Seattle&#39;s City Council voted not to spend millions of dollars on an arena without a team to put in it, a shitlord faction of Seattle sports fans directed a torrent of gross gendered ugliness at the women who voted against it. Here are some sanctions that might set things right.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/a-modest-proposal-on-seattle-sports" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/a-modest-proposal-on-seattle-sports#comments Mon, 23 May 2016 19:44:05 +0000 David Roth 2578 at http://theclassical.org Baseball Has A Joy Problem http://theclassical.org/articles/baseball-has-a-joy-problem <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Reetae </div> </div> </div> <p> The chain of events that led to Rougned Odor socking Jose Bautista in the face began last fall, but all comes back to a game that&#39;s caught up in its own unwritten rules.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/baseball-has-a-joy-problem" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/baseball-has-a-joy-problem#comments Fri, 20 May 2016 16:00:40 +0000 David Roth 2575 at http://theclassical.org Bronson Arroyo Sings the Hits http://theclassical.org/articles/bronson-arroyo-sings-the-hits <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Mark Macyk </div> </div> </div> <p> While Bronson Arroyo&#39;s &quot;Covering the Bases&quot; retrospective rock album is seemingly just a collection of dude rock anthems, what this presupposes is: What if it isn&#39;t?</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/bronson-arroyo-sings-the-hits" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/bronson-arroyo-sings-the-hits#comments Thu, 19 May 2016 16:22:12 +0000 Nick Bond 2576 at http://theclassical.org The Life And Legend Of Tyler Crisps http://theclassical.org/articles/the-life-and-legend-of-tyler-crisps <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Trevor Strunk </div> </div> </div> <p> There&#39;s more to the 100% real and actually existing quarterback prospect Tyler Crisps than Texas. But to understand him, Texas is a good place to start.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/the-life-and-legend-of-tyler-crisps" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/the-life-and-legend-of-tyler-crisps#comments Thu, 12 May 2016 13:19:45 +0000 David Roth 2574 at http://theclassical.org James Harden And Pinhead's Puzzlebox http://theclassical.org/articles/james-harden-and-pinheads-puzzlebox <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Sam Wilkinson </div> </div> </div> <p> In which Frank Cotton, sybaritic criminal victim of the Cenobites in &quot;Hellraiser,&quot; finally gets his shot at a NBA coaching job.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/james-harden-and-pinheads-puzzlebox" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/james-harden-and-pinheads-puzzlebox#comments Thu, 05 May 2016 16:20:17 +0000 David Roth 2571 at http://theclassical.org The JR Smith/Dion Waiters Power Rankings: Cat Scratch Effect http://theclassical.org/articles/the-jr-smithdion-waiters-power-rankings-cat-scratch-effect <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Alex Siquig </div> <div class="field-item even"> Jonny Auping </div> </div> </div> <p> Our latest ranking finds our heroes each playing prominent roles in the postseason, but only one of them fully in character. Also there&#39;s a lot of stuff about cats and cat-ownership in here.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/the-jr-smithdion-waiters-power-rankings-cat-scratch-effect" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/the-jr-smithdion-waiters-power-rankings-cat-scratch-effect#comments Wed, 04 May 2016 16:03:27 +0000 David Roth 2572 at http://theclassical.org Players, Fans, The Human Element, And The NBA Playoffs http://theclassical.org/articles/players-fans-the-human-element-and-the-nba-playoffs <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Wes Goldberg </div> </div> </div> <p> It can be easy to forget that NBA players are also fans, in all the irrational, overexuberant, delirious, and human ways that can be defined. In the playoffs, that&#39;s unmistakable.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/players-fans-the-human-element-and-the-nba-playoffs" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/players-fans-the-human-element-and-the-nba-playoffs#comments Mon, 02 May 2016 17:22:00 +0000 David Roth 2570 at http://theclassical.org Guys Like Us http://theclassical.org/articles/guys-like-us <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Dani Fleischer </div> </div> </div> <p> The 90s Knicks were ugly and flawed, even as they were great. For some families, that was worth holding onto.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/guys-like-us" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/guys-like-us#comments Wed, 20 Apr 2016 06:23:22 +0000 piellucci 2567 at http://theclassical.org Meet The Nopers: State Farm's Rejected "Long Lost Basketball Siblings" http://theclassical.org/articles/meet-the-nopers-state-farms-rejected-long-lost-basketball-siblings <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Ben Johnson </div> <div class="field-item even"> Alex Siquig </div> </div> </div> <p> From the non-fictional Zeke Randolph to dapper Detective Maurice Cole to Mason &quot;Mason Plumlee&quot; Plumlee, we offer this complete run-down of fictitious (and non-fictitious) NBA siblings.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/meet-the-nopers-state-farms-rejected-long-lost-basketball-siblings" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/meet-the-nopers-state-farms-rejected-long-lost-basketball-siblings#comments Mon, 18 Apr 2016 19:04:50 +0000 David Roth 2565 at http://theclassical.org What Does It Take To Create A Mascot? A Conversation With Aaron Dana, About Otters. http://theclassical.org/articles/what-does-it-take-to-create-a-mascot-a-conversation-with-aaron-dana-about-otters <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Eli Neugeboren </div> </div> </div> <p> A conversation between two graphic designers about the joys, challenges, and weirdnesses of creating a mascot from scratch.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/what-does-it-take-to-create-a-mascot-a-conversation-with-aaron-dana-about-otters" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/what-does-it-take-to-create-a-mascot-a-conversation-with-aaron-dana-about-otters#comments Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:10:56 +0000 David Roth 2560 at http://theclassical.org We're Not Talking About Playoffs, Eh? http://theclassical.org/articles/were-not-talking-about-playoffs-eh <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Jacob Sundstrom </div> </div> </div> <p> The absence of Canadian teams in this year&#39;s NHL field is good for a punchline, although it&#39;s already worn out from overuse. But that&#39;s about all it means.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/were-not-talking-about-playoffs-eh" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/were-not-talking-about-playoffs-eh#comments Mon, 11 Apr 2016 18:05:09 +0000 David Roth 2559 at http://theclassical.org Goodbye To Sam Hinkie, The Brownback Of The Boardroom http://theclassical.org/articles/goodbye-to-sam-hinkie-the-brownback-of-the-boardroom <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Reetae </div> </div> </div> <p> Sam Hinkie might well have been a visionary. He was definitely an ideologue. He was also terrible at his job, which is why he doesn&#39;t have it anymore. It doesn&#39;t need to be more complicated than that.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/goodbye-to-sam-hinkie-the-brownback-of-the-boardroom" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/goodbye-to-sam-hinkie-the-brownback-of-the-boardroom#comments Fri, 08 Apr 2016 18:40:55 +0000 David Roth 2563 at http://theclassical.org The Sixers, And Their Fans, Can't Win For Losing http://theclassical.org/articles/the-sixers-and-their-fans-cant-win-for-losing <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Tom Keiser </div> </div> </div> <p> Committing to The Process wasn&#39;t easy, and it wasn&#39;t necessarily fun. But for a fan who bought into the idea that Sam Hinkie could move things forward, the end of the Hinkie experiment feels like a step back.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/the-sixers-and-their-fans-cant-win-for-losing" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/the-sixers-and-their-fans-cant-win-for-losing#comments Fri, 08 Apr 2016 15:10:58 +0000 David Roth 2562 at http://theclassical.org Steph Curry Needs To Shoot His Shot http://theclassical.org/articles/steph-curry-needs-to-shoot-his-shot <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Jordan White </div> </div> </div> <p> Steph Curry doesn&#39;t necessarily owe us any more than basketball. But what he refuses to talk about regarding North Carolina&#39;s HB2 speaks volumes all the same.&nbsp;</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/steph-curry-needs-to-shoot-his-shot" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/steph-curry-needs-to-shoot-his-shot#comments Thu, 07 Apr 2016 17:00:36 +0000 David Roth 2561 at http://theclassical.org UConn, Their Critics, And The Importance Of Awe http://theclassical.org/articles/uconn-their-critics-and-the-importance-of-awe <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Sam Wilkinson </div> </div> </div> <p> UConn&#39;s women&#39;s basketball dynasty caught a good amount of very bad criticism for their dominance during their latest dominant run to a NCAA championship. Which is weird, because the only thing you need to do to appreciate and understand their greatness is watch them play.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/uconn-their-critics-and-the-importance-of-awe" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/uconn-their-critics-and-the-importance-of-awe#comments Wed, 06 Apr 2016 19:33:36 +0000 David Roth 2558 at http://theclassical.org The Most Judgmental Judgment Call In College Basketball http://theclassical.org/articles/the-most-judgmental-judgment-call-in-college-basketball <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Sam Wilkinson </div> </div> </div> <p> Refereeing is hard even when the rules are clear. In the case of the technical fouls called against players for hanging on the rim, the rule is bad&mdash;and the resulting calls are worse.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/the-most-judgmental-judgment-call-in-college-basketball" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/the-most-judgmental-judgment-call-in-college-basketball#comments Mon, 04 Apr 2016 17:18:27 +0000 David Roth 2556 at http://theclassical.org NBA Storytime: The Dragics Will Do It http://theclassical.org/articles/nba-storytime-the-dragics-will-do-it <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Katie Heindl </div> </div> </div> <p> In which Pat Riley harnesses the power of basketball&#39;s foremost warlock twins to send Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook back in time to stop Steph Curry.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/nba-storytime-the-dragics-will-do-it" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/nba-storytime-the-dragics-will-do-it#comments Thu, 31 Mar 2016 17:16:13 +0000 David Roth 2555 at http://theclassical.org The Tyranny Of Trapezoids, Or Notes On The Proper Tending Of Goal http://theclassical.org/articles/the-tyranny-of-trapezoids-or-notes-on-the-proper-tending-of-goal <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Elliott Turner </div> </div> </div> <p> Ron Hextall wasn&#39;t the best goaltender of his era, or any other. But he was good enough at one thing to sneak into a kid&#39;s dreams, and stay there.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/the-tyranny-of-trapezoids-or-notes-on-the-proper-tending-of-goal" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/the-tyranny-of-trapezoids-or-notes-on-the-proper-tending-of-goal#comments Wed, 30 Mar 2016 15:50:16 +0000 David Roth 2552 at http://theclassical.org Go Home Raw, You're Drunk http://theclassical.org/articles/go-home-raw-youre-drunk <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Nick Bond </div> </div> </div> <p> Dean goes shopping, Zach Ryder goes over and Shane goes insane. Raw Regurgitated, on the internet, just for you!</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/go-home-raw-youre-drunk" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/go-home-raw-youre-drunk#comments Tue, 29 Mar 2016 18:46:45 +0000 Nick Bond 2554 at http://theclassical.org Scouting The Future Of Scouting In The NBA http://theclassical.org/articles/scouting-the-future-of-scouting-in-the-nba <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Damon Agnos </div> </div> </div> <p> Right now, NBA teams are especially into a very specific type of player&mdash;long, athletic, and with very specific skills. Here&#39;s a look into what&#39;s (probably not) next.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/scouting-the-future-of-scouting-in-the-nba" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/scouting-the-future-of-scouting-in-the-nba#comments Thu, 24 Mar 2016 15:28:50 +0000 David Roth 2551 at http://theclassical.org Inspiration Strikes: The JR Smith/Dion Waiters Power Rankings http://theclassical.org/articles/inspiration-strikes-the-jr-smithdion-waiters-power-rankings <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Jonny Auping </div> <div class="field-item even"> Alex Siquig </div> </div> </div> <p> Dion Waiters has had an extremely difficult life, and a tragic last couple weeks away from basketball. He&#39;s played through it, brilliantly, and given a glimpse of the strength and struggle under his bluster. Also: JR Smith Bobblehead Night.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/inspiration-strikes-the-jr-smithdion-waiters-power-rankings" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/inspiration-strikes-the-jr-smithdion-waiters-power-rankings#comments Thu, 24 Mar 2016 14:30:43 +0000 David Roth 2553 at http://theclassical.org Unicorns with Carrot Horns http://theclassical.org/articles/unicorns-with-carrot-horns <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Nick Bond </div> </div> </div> <p> New Day (kind of) Rocks, AJ-KO (kind of) rules and Dean Ambrose (kind of) main events the show! Raw Regurgitated, on the internet, just for you!</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/unicorns-with-carrot-horns" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/unicorns-with-carrot-horns#comments Tue, 22 Mar 2016 18:27:17 +0000 Nick Bond 2550 at http://theclassical.org Class WAR, Or Towards Communist Baseball http://theclassical.org/articles/class-war-or-towards-communist-baseball <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Tyler Drenon </div> </div> </div> <p> Baseball&#39;s economics are insane in basically every way, but there&#39;s one simple way to start fixing that: get rid of the owners. Then get to work.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/class-war-or-towards-communist-baseball" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/class-war-or-towards-communist-baseball#comments Mon, 21 Mar 2016 17:31:10 +0000 David Roth 2544 at http://theclassical.org Golden State And All That Glitters http://theclassical.org/articles/golden-state-and-all-that-glitters <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Evans Clinchy </div> </div> </div> <p> The Warriors have been so dominant this season that the entire rest of the league has landed in their shadow. Maybe it&#39;s time to look at things from a different angle.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/golden-state-and-all-that-glitters" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/golden-state-and-all-that-glitters#comments Wed, 16 Mar 2016 17:42:26 +0000 David Roth 2549 at http://theclassical.org The Big Dog, Vol. 2: One vs. All (The Boos) http://theclassical.org/articles/the-big-dog-vol-2-one-vs-all-the-boos <div class="field field-type-nodereference field-field-op-author"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Nick Bond </div> </div> </div> <p> Roman gets booed, Dean gets a present and the League of Nations finally gets some heat. Raw regurgitated, on the internet, just for you!</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-main-image-suppress"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Hide main image on article page? </div> </div> </div> <p><a href="http://theclassical.org/articles/the-big-dog-vol-2-one-vs-all-the-boos" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://theclassical.org/articles/the-big-dog-vol-2-one-vs-all-the-boos#comments Tue, 15 Mar 2016 17:33:52 +0000 Nick Bond 2547 at http://theclassical.org