Ryan O'Hanlon | The Classical

Ryan O'Hanlon

Ryan O'Hanlon is a staff writer at The Classical. He lives in Brooklyn, where he writes and tweets things. He used to play soccer and go to college, neither of which he will ever get over.

September 14, 2012
Friday Afternoon Speculative Fiction: Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh Go To Arby's — The Clog

The Lions and 49ers play in San Francisco this weekend, where Lions coach Jim Schwartz and Niners coach Jim Harbaugh will revisit their botched, aggro handshake from last season. They probably will not go to Arby's together, but it's nice to think about.
June 18, 2012
Head Games

Football's concussion epidemic is a matter of public record. But recent reports about a surge of concussions in girls' youth soccer suggest another problem brewing. All sports have their element of danger, but how much are parents supposed to accept? And how safe can sports ever really get?
May 23, 2012
In Which a Professional Soccer Player Cuts Off His Rat Tail and Gives it to a Museum — The Clog

Yeah, like the headline says: the Genoa FC Museum has a new and horrifying item on exhibition.
May 23, 2012
33-Year-Old Kids: In Praise of Rich Thompson, Improbable Old-Rookie Speedster — The Clog

There's more that's improbable about Rich Thompson, a 33-year-old rookie outfielder on the Tampa Bay Rays, than the simple fact that he's finally cracked the bigs after over a decade in the minors. Although that's pretty good, for starters.
May 8, 2012
Don't Bean Me Bro: What Cole Hamels and Bryce Harper Can Teach Us About Trust, Courage, and... — The Clog

In real life, Cole Hamels and Bryce Harper are just a couple of happy nu-bros living their dreams. But as recent events have taught us, sometimes being an idiot on the baseball field can be a lot more dangerous than looking like one off of it.
May 4, 2012
The Life Affirming Power of Excited Grizzlies Kid Dot Gif — The Clog

In a bleak week for sports and in general, one moderately pudgy, very fired-up Grizzlies fan went from meme to life-affirming, objectively good emblem for everything we want, and sometimes get, from sports. Thank goodness.
April 30, 2012
Meet The Least Important Man in the NBA Playoffs — The Clog

Blake Ahearn is not making $10 million this year, despite an amusing Yahoo Sports typo suggesting as much. He is probably the least significant player in the NBA Playoffs. He is also probably cool with all that.
April 24, 2012
A Field Guide To Ridiculous Soccer Training Products — The Clog

The Soccer Pal is not your friend. Wrapping your feet in rubber is not an improvement over tying one's shoelaces properly. And so on: journey, if you dare, into the wonderful world of useless soccer training products.
April 17, 2012
Henrik Lundqvist: The Artist Is Present — The Clog

Henrik Lundqvist is handsome, successful, and trained in the same martial art form favored by Dolph Lundgren. The Rangers goalie is also brilliant and totally dull at stopping pucks from going into nets.
April 13, 2012
The Ballad of Luke Babbitt

In a fairly dismal Portland Trail Blazers season, Luke Babbitt has provided some much-needed comic relief. He's also started making a future for himself with the team.

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