Author Bio & Stories

  • "Vince Carter technically can play basketball better than Michael Jordan. He’s a better outside shooter than Michael Jordan, he could pretty much do anything Michael Jordan could do. The difference was Jordan was fucking insane."

  • June 13, 2012
    Sport vs. Sports The Clog

    Mitt Romney says "sport" when most other Americans, even other amazingly stilted Mormon hedge-fund oligarchs, would say "sports." But he's not alone in this problem. We've made a chart to help Mitt and other confused people out.

  • I was actually waiting for an excuse to talk about Chris Perez, although it's not actually clear that I even have here that excuse. So, Chris Perez had a bathroom emergency.

  • June 11, 2012
    Collared

    Since 2010, the Oakland A’s have marketed themselves as “Green Collar Baseball." Setting aside the fact that Oakland’s jerseys don’t really have collars, and if they do, they’re not green, this slogan nails the A’s. Although the phrase “green collar” is scooting its way toward a dictionary definition, albeit a sort of dumb, imprecise journalistic one—which is not at all the same thing as “blue collar,” which the A’s also do not have, it's fair to say the late-Moneyball-era A's have a pretty good claim to working-class status.

  • May 21, 2012
    Aztec Sabermetrics The Clog

    Possible illuminati shit related to ancient Mesoamerican leisure activities, the Marlins' home run monolith, and late-breaking archaeological findings.

  • Friend-of-Classical Dmitry Samarov has been steadily putting together new stories and images for his next book, but the thing is: It's really hard to write while you're driving a cab, what with all the traffic laws and overly refreshed 4 a.m. fares to wrangle.

  • The modern-day closer is a mutant. There wasn’t always such a thing as a ninth-inning relief specialist. And I don’t mean that the popularity of the “save” statistic created a job for game-finishing closers, or even their forebears, firemen like Rollie Fingers and Goose Gossage. Even though there have always been three final outs, there haven't always been specific heroes assigned to record those outs and no others.

  • With all due respect to Topps and them, Amelie Mancini makes the world's most interesting baseball cards. The French-born artist's hand-printed cards—dedicated to baseball's victims of weird injuries and ill-advised facial hair—are unlike any other. On the occasion of the debut of her new set, "Marvelous Mustaches," we talked baseball, and baseball cards.

  • May 1, 2012
    Luckless

    The story of four of the approximately ten times a year the author tries to gin up the courage to quit liking the Cleveland Browns, and some reflections on salvation, mediocrity, and Pynchon names.

  • The most boring story in the history of the world, featuring Jean-Paul Sartre, Mel Hall, ancient Sumerians, Fuad Reveiz, and Tim Gunn.