Author Bio & Stories

  • The new issue of The Classical Magazine features some new contributors, some recognizable names, and a collection of art and essays that are mostly about books, but always about sporps. Don't stop. Get it, get it.

  • Obviously, the soap would always compete. I imagine this would be evident in its cleaning and moisturizing capacity, and/or in some other characteristic currently envisioned only by a competitor in relentless pursuit of a competitive edge in soaps.

  • If you read The Classical, you probably know about the FreeDarko books. If you know about the FreeDarko books, you definitely know about the impossibly great artwork in those two volumes. Jacob Weinstein, the genius responsible for said art, now has a web store where you can buy high-quality prints.

  • The goal for issue #6 of The Classical was short, fast, loud pieces. We aimed for 500 words, but we didn't actually hold anyone to that rule. 26 poems, memoirs, histories, fantasies, fictions, non-fictions, prayers, confessions roughly related to sports are the result.

  • May 14, 2013
    Apple Allergies The Clog

    As you may have heard from our ~eleventy billion self-spams, we have an App. It's really cool. But the App Store only works if you use an Apple, and some people might not get down fruitwise with their computing. If that's you, don't sweat it.

  • January 9, 2013
    Rabbit Remembered

    I never saw a highlight of that Kenny Lofton home run, never saw the celebratory beatdown or the perfunctory shot of the crowd going bonkers. I never felt like I needed to, either, because I could then and can still see now Kenny Lofton hitting a home run without much recourse to my imagination.

  • December 5, 2012
    Different Kinds of Heaven

    The last time I won $25 in instant lotto, I felt immortal. I bought myself a Greek salad at the diner across the street to celebrate, which soaked up about $15 of the $25, less the original $5 overhead. I definitely wasted any remaining net winnings within hours, but I still felt like a fucking wizard of life.

  • September 26, 2012
    The NFL is Too Shitty

    The Classical is a special place for the airing of irregular, unpopular opinions about sports, so I figure this is a fine time and place to promote the following irregular, half-baked, unpopular sports opinion: The NFL is shitty and I should stop watching it.

  • Award-winning international soccer journalist Simon Kuper chats with The Classical about his new book, his sense of the future of soccer, and more.

  • "But digging deeper, I think that we’re uncomfortable rooting for losers so we actively seek to trick our minds so as to enable us to see hope where there really is none."