Author Bio & Stories

  • March 5, 2012
    Vice City

    The Miami Marlins are a team of obvious talent, led by strong personalities, playing for an organization that has disregarded expectations of what a baseball game should look like for fans. They scream to be considered as an experience in a way that no baseball team has for a long time.

  • Alas, the NBA All-Star Game and the Oscars have been scheduled in direct conflict with one another. What lackadasical fiend is to blame? Where can we find his home address? Never mind, let us move forward through the power of imagination, as Bethelehem Shoals and Eric Freeman show you how to kill two birds with one stone. 

  • In honor of Valentine's Day, a line-by-line reading of the wildly imprecise basketball metaphor in Hall and Oates' "One on One."

  • February 13, 2012
    Men in the Arena

    Warrior may look like MMA propaganda, but it's nearly the opposite. If anything, it goes out of its way to make the sport seem like a sad accident of some people's lives. Despite its contrived plot, the film just may have found a new way to use sports in cinema. 

  • February 10, 2012
    What Now, J. R. Smith?

    J. R. Smith is this close to being done in China, which means the NBA's great sower of chaos will soon be back in America. More importantly, he's a free agent, available to the highest bidder—or, if he so chooses, to follow a less conventional career path. 

  • A farewell to an acting legend, with a delightfully weird video featuring two sports greats.

  • January 30, 2012
    The Limits of Control

    A Novak Djokovic victory is almost always impressive but rarely inspirational, akin to watching someone recreate a Jackson Pollock painting drop by drop from the world’s longest instruction manual. As a physical accomplishment, it’s amazing. As a piece of drama, or really just athletic narrative, it’s a little dull. For full appreciation as an athlete in a state of continual self-improvement, he requires the right context.

  • In which our hero wins his club a huge match and gets hated on. With good reason, this time.

  • January 17, 2012
    Role Reversal

    Sports coverage can annoy, but it has a baseline—the games every fan cares about—against which we can judge the mountains of bullshit. Political reporting, sadly, has no clear bottom.

  • In which our hero visits a college to use the bathroom.