Author Bio & Stories

  • February 26, 2013
    Dancing Through The Lane

    Why does Basketball Twitter like a super-stylized ABC Family show about chatterboxing ballet dancers? For the same reason it likes basketball, mostly.

  • Another year older, another year of trying to figure out the Basenji Dog Secret. The internet's hard-spamming robot chorus is here to help. 

  • Why did David Rappoccio decide to do Britishized versions of all 32 NFL logos? It's a good question, but perhaps the more important one is how it took so long for someone to undertake this important work.

  • For the last nine years, three friends have made painstakingly crafted, fully comprehensive rap songs dedicated to the NBA All-Star Game and its participants. Is it impolite to ask why and how they keep doing this?

  • It might not be the best idea to ask horny, spammy internet robots for romantic advice on Valentine's Day. But they're going to offer that advice anyway, because that is what they do.

  • February 14, 2013
    Brand Upon The Brain

    Darren Rovell has been kicked around a lot over the past week. He deserves it, as he generally does, but perhaps worse than anything Rovell said or did is that he was just doing his job.

  • February 1, 2013
    What's Eating Roger Goodell

    Whatever Super Bowl Sunday brings us, Krewe du Vieux's float of a giant vagina eating Roger Goodell has already given us the most enduring, and maybe most appropriate (if still plenty inappropriate), image for Super Bowl XLV.

  • San Francisco 49ers defensive back Chris Culliver has a bigger platform than most goons from which to broadcast off-the-rack no-homo idiocy. Quite aside from the comments he made to Artie Lange on Super Bowl Media Day, there are Culliver's one million Twitter followers. Wait, what?

  • January 23, 2013
    Spam Poetics: A Consultation The Clog

    In which robo-hucksters offer some constructive criticism and sage advice about improving the site, and also discuss problems at home, and finally offer an amazing deal on "sex tubes."

  • The spammers are still speaking. We are still listening. And from this familiar torrent of OUTRAGEOUS DEALS ON SUNGLASSES, a poetic message has emerged. It's also mostly about sunglasses.