Author Bio & Stories

  • What is the internet for, if not to imagine a world more interesting than this one? In the case of the hashtag #DwightInLA, that meant coming up with a much different and much funnier Los Angeles experience than the team's new center will likely have.

  • Matt Stairs is a globe-trotting super-assassin, Pat Mahomes biography is a tough sell, Josh Reddick wants to fight you at the nu-metal show, Marlins management is wearing linen and getting handsy. All is more or less normal.

  • Ryan Lochte seems like a pretty epic bro, even by the usual standards for Olympic swimmer bro-hood. But it's tough to blame him for that, considering how hugely, unimaginably strange it must be to be an Olympian during the Olympics.

  • Baseball's trade-deadline season is all about speculation, which is fun enough. But with Ichiro on the Yankees, a world of horrible new possibilities has opened up. Yakkin' stares into the abyss, and the abyss smells like Nick Swisher.

  • July 18, 2012
    Here's To Shutting Up

    Since the first emergence of the awful story surrounding Jerry Sandusky's sex abuse at Penn State, we've been pretty quiet on the story. That's not because it isn't outrageous, or because we're not outraged. It's because there is, by definition, not much to say about the unspeakable. And because it's noisy enough as it is without us.

  • The ambitious Blank On Blank is exactly the sort of Kickstarter campaign that The Classical can get behind—a way to turn simple interview audio into something richer and altogether cooler. So we're getting behind it, and letting creator David Gerlach explain why you should, too.

  • Mark Madsen just wants to play with you. Is it so bad that Mark Madsen wants to play with you? Why would you not just play intramural basketball with Mark Madsen. Look, you're making him sad.

  • We interrupt our scheduled non-programming with an urgent message from E-40, who would like to remind you to vote.

  • We're darkening and slowing things down until July 9, but not because we don't love our readers or anything. It's just... well, it's really muggy, and it seemed like a good time for a brief break.

  • Andy Griffith's breakout as an entertainer came via a monologue about a country preacher at a football game. It feels about 200 years old today, but for Griffith—who died today at 86—seeming of-the-moment was never a big part of the game.