Author Bio & Stories

  • Josh Willingham has had an excellent season in Minnesota. However he hits, though, Willingham boasts one of baseball's foremost meat-compound surname. Here, for your consideration, are several of his meat-compound forebears, from Rick Eagerbeef to Al Turkee-Upforit.

  • August 16, 2012
    Goodbye To All That

    After 44 years with the Boston Globe, Bob Ryan is retiring from the sports column business. He's leaving in good health and good shape; the job itself, though, is kind of hurting, and will miss him mightily.

  • Not to brag or anything, but we get press releases all the time. But one press release we had never gotten, at least before Sunday, was one announcing the casting of Metta World Peace as a "vampire boss" in a B movie. Thankfully, that has been remedied.

  • What is the internet for, if not to imagine a world more interesting than this one? In the case of the hashtag #DwightInLA, that meant coming up with a much different and much funnier Los Angeles experience than the team's new center will likely have.

  • Matt Stairs is a globe-trotting super-assassin, Pat Mahomes biography is a tough sell, Josh Reddick wants to fight you at the nu-metal show, Marlins management is wearing linen and getting handsy. All is more or less normal.

  • Ryan Lochte seems like a pretty epic bro, even by the usual standards for Olympic swimmer bro-hood. But it's tough to blame him for that, considering how hugely, unimaginably strange it must be to be an Olympian during the Olympics.

  • Baseball's trade-deadline season is all about speculation, which is fun enough. But with Ichiro on the Yankees, a world of horrible new possibilities has opened up. Yakkin' stares into the abyss, and the abyss smells like Nick Swisher.

  • July 18, 2012
    Here's To Shutting Up

    Since the first emergence of the awful story surrounding Jerry Sandusky's sex abuse at Penn State, we've been pretty quiet on the story. That's not because it isn't outrageous, or because we're not outraged. It's because there is, by definition, not much to say about the unspeakable. And because it's noisy enough as it is without us.

  • The ambitious Blank On Blank is exactly the sort of Kickstarter campaign that The Classical can get behind—a way to turn simple interview audio into something richer and altogether cooler. So we're getting behind it, and letting creator David Gerlach explain why you should, too.

  • Mark Madsen just wants to play with you. Is it so bad that Mark Madsen wants to play with you? Why would you not just play intramural basketball with Mark Madsen. Look, you're making him sad.