Not to brag or anything, but we get press releases all the time. But one press release we had never gotten, at least before Sunday, was one announcing the casting of Metta World Peace as a "vampire boss" in a B movie. Thankfully, that has been remedied.
What is the internet for, if not to imagine a world more interesting than this one? In the case of the hashtag #DwightInLA, that meant coming up with a much different and much funnier Los Angeles experience than the team's new center will likely have.
Matt Stairs is a globe-trotting super-assassin, Pat Mahomes biography is a tough sell, Josh Reddick wants to fight you at the nu-metal show, Marlins management is wearing linen and getting handsy. All is more or less normal.
Ryan Lochte seems like a pretty epic bro, even by the usual standards for Olympic swimmer bro-hood. But it's tough to blame him for that, considering how hugely, unimaginably strange it must be to be an Olympian during the Olympics.
Baseball's trade-deadline season is all about speculation, which is fun enough. But with Ichiro on the Yankees, a world of horrible new possibilities has opened up. Yakkin' stares into the abyss, and the abyss smells like Nick Swisher.