Author Bio & Stories

  • San Francisco 49ers defensive back Chris Culliver has a bigger platform than most goons from which to broadcast off-the-rack no-homo idiocy. Quite aside from the comments he made to Artie Lange on Super Bowl Media Day, there are Culliver's one million Twitter followers. Wait, what?

  • January 23, 2013
    Spam Poetics: A Consultation The Clog

    In which robo-hucksters offer some constructive criticism and sage advice about improving the site, and also discuss problems at home, and finally offer an amazing deal on "sex tubes."

  • The spammers are still speaking. We are still listening. And from this familiar torrent of OUTRAGEOUS DEALS ON SUNGLASSES, a poetic message has emerged. It's also mostly about sunglasses.

  • Shane Battier is hosting a karaoke event to benefit the Shane Battier Take Charge Foundation, which is a worthy enough idea. He cut a video of himself singing the theme to "The Love Boat" to advertise this event, which was... a much more debatable idea, honestly.

  • It's hard to get too angry about the Baseball Writers Association of America's decision not to induct anyone from a stacked class of eligible players to the Hall of Fame this year. It's just the Hall of Fame, after all. But it's definitely possible to get angry about it if you try.

  • A new poem about writing less and nail fungus, brought to you by the hundreds of spam comments that we delete every week. Don't thank us, thank the internet.

  • December 24, 2012
    Silent Nights (And Days)

    We're going to be in energy-save mode through the New Year. Then we'll come back.

  • Yes, in a basic sense, buying a used replica football jersey on eBay is as easy as searching eBay for used replica football jerseys. But how do you know which Tim Couch jersey is right for you? We've got you.

  • Everyone is getting paid. Some people are getting traded. The Mets ownership group is performing some sort of mean-spirited Dadaist prank on the very idea of baseball. Sam Horn springs fully formed and hungry for burgers from the head of David Raposa. Business as usual.

  • In which a sassy young dude walks on the field at a Buccaneers home game, throws down some dance moves with the Bucs' cheerleaders, and teaches us all a valuable lesson.