Author Bio & Stories

  • In which our heroes escape from the Fan Cave and into the freedom of actual meaningful professional baseball. Scott Spiezio's band is there, for some reason, but on this one day it doesn't matter so much.

  • It's spring. Jason Giambi is leading, Ian Kinsler is taking umbrage, and Bartolo Colon is eating balloon animals at birthday parties. So, pretty much the usual.

  • A frank discussion of The Captain, in preparation for what will probably be a less-frank year-long discussion of The Captain. By "frank" we mean mostly goofy ad hominem jokes.

  • We are nearly out of baseball teams, and baseball season. To make the most of the (honestly kind of wearyingly predictable) teams left, let's look to the weird Corgi-shaped sluggers and try to ignore Tony La Russa's scowling ghost. Let's at least try.

  • Traveling through time with Steve Trachsel, conjuring Kirk Gibson, getting on a conga line with Yasiel Puig, and getting to yes with the inevitability of great pitchers missing a year of their prime and puffy radio meats getting mad about it. It's a lot, but baseball is a lot.

  • The search for new and less upsetting ways to say "wants to trade for" and a frank discussion of abusive batting coaches with DJ Khaled. Also lifetime bans for various people, for various reasons, some having to do with orange juice.

  • A frank colloquy on productive outs, unproductive PED investigations, sleepy free-associating announcers and the ongoing search of Los Angeles Times columnist T.J. Simers for someone, anyone, in the Los Angeles Angels clubhouse who will punch him in the nose.

  • Jay Buhner's kid is named Gunnar, and he is about to be a professional baseball player. Bud Selig is a renegade lawman. Chuck Knoblauch's nephew wants to play flip-cup. Terry Collins is possessed by a demon that loves bunts. Nothing will ever be the same.

  • In which we welcome our robot overlords, wonder when the Arizona Diamondbacks will secede, digress in defense of digressive broadcasters and so on. Also Dan Shaughnessey.

  • May 3, 2013
    Bo's Promos

    Bo Jackson is one of the most transcendent athletes of his or any era. That's part of why his promos for 5-Hour Energy are such a bummer, although that's certainly not all of it.