Never mind the practical consideration of trying to sleep while DeMarcus Cousins yells for the ball: all those easy jokes about the Sacramento Kings' newly re-named Sleep Train Arena are missing a much more intriguing angle. However odd the name might sound, this is a rare instance in which a pro team's sold naming rights could possibly provide some benefit for the community.
The NHL lockout looks likely to go on for some time. Based on this (imaginary) pilot, the exceedingly nasty and fraught fashion critique television show featuring unemployed NHL buds Sean Avery and Ryan Callahan may not last very long at all. But have you ever had an imaginary television show? Like, even one episode of one?
The second and final part of our look into what NHL captains are doing without NHL hockey finds some players becoming vampires, others eating cheese with weird hair in it, and a goodly percentage working on recuperating from concussions. The usual offseason stuff, in other words, but with no actual season in the immediate future.
With the NHL locked out for, let's say, forever, the league's foremost leaders of men will have to find new ways to pass their time. These are probably not those, but considering this question may be the last hockey any of us get for some time.
Chris Collision: I come to you, my man, to help me celebrate one of my favorite things, perhaps my favorite time of year, easily my favorite time of the sports year: the first round of the hockey playoffs. Everything that's rad about sports is compressed into this short stretch.