Yakkin' About Baseball: No Aaron Sele, No Peace

It's hard to get too angry about the Baseball Writers Association of America's decision not to induct anyone from a stacked class to the Hall of Fame this year. But it's definitely possible.
Share |

David Raposa: Hey, have you heard anything about this Hall of Fame vote. No one else is talking about it, which is pretty weird, right? I think we should try to get in first on this topic.

David Roth: We may not have Hall of Fame votes, but I bet we can get our signature CAPITALIZED FART JOKES up before Jon Heyman does. But yeah, mostly I think no player from a slate that has at least a dozen and maybe 20 legitimate Hall of Fame candidates getting into the Hall of Fame—for reasons that are opaque and airy and mostly stink (LIKE FARTS)—seems mostly dumb, and worth talking about.

David Roth: Also more like Hall of Farts. Sorry, go on.

David Raposa: I'm pretty sure we could scientifically prove that it's 100% dumb with a very small margin of error.

David Roth: The Hall of Fame vote in general, and this one in particular, seems to me like what our national politics would be like if the only people allowed to vote were middle-class men between the ages 45 and 85.

David Raposa: So, the Bush W years, but with more emphasis on grit and intangibles.

David Roth: Our President would be, like, Roger Staubach. Unemployment insurance would be replaced by a phone call from Craig T. Nelson telling you to "knock off the bellyaching." The national anthem would be "Old Time Rock N' Roll." There would, periodically, be symbolic votes in Congress reaffirming the khaki's status as America's Official Pant.

David Raposa: I'm not sure what you're complaining about. I think switching from Obamacare to a "rub some dirt on it" healthcare system would really help with our deficit.

David Roth: Oh, I wasn't complaining. Maybe complaining that Murray Chass, who definitely seems balanced and not at all like someone prone to Making A Scene At The Diner, only gets one vote.

David Roth: Honestly, I can't really get that animated about this at any level but an abstract one. Which is where I get REALLY ANIMATED about it. Like, we will all live—including the small business owners of Cooperstown—if Craig Biggio doesn't make some speech about his faith, thank Luis Gonzalez, and get photographed with a weird Han Solo-ish bronze rendering of his face sometime this summer. But the principles of huffy withholding, retrograde sentimento past-humping, armchair authoritarianism, lazy suspicion and retroactive moralizing—which seem unquestionably to be the principles that voters stood by on this vote—are really crappy principles.

David Raposa: Yeah, this is more on the level of one's employer making workers buy their own K cups. But, even on that microcosmic level, I'm amazed that total hearsay, like the Bagwell and Piazza 'roid slanders, actually penetrated the lead lining of the BBWAA electorate. Also, PEDs or no PEDs, not giving a yeoman-like everydude like Biggio the gold watch and TGIFriday's gift card he obviously deserves is some bullshit.

David Roth: I mean, Biggio was also really ripped out by the end.

David Raposa: Looking forward to Biggio's Pain & Gain cameo!.

David Roth: But that's such a stupid standard! Bagwell and Piazza were never implicated in anything, or accused of anything by anyone more credible than Rejected Late-Period Philip Roth Novel Protagonist Murray Chass. They just were yoked. In the manner of professional athletes. All of this is suspicious if you want it to be, although there seems to be some tacit and mostly incomprehensible understanding of what and who is and isn't suspicious. These consensuses might not be monolithic, but they sure are weird.

David Roth: I will say that I can't really get that mad about people advocating for Jack Morris. I can't really get that mad about any of it. But the combination of puffed-up unaccountability and this curdled, scold-y worldview does bug me. Also I don't know what Tim Raines ever did to these guys, except use coke when a ton of other people did and hit and run better than most players of his generation.

David Raposa: The BBWAA is totally fueled on drug envy. A bunch of folks that can't handle the good stuff poo-pooing the select few that excel at their jobs despite their altered states. And I imagine a lot of the older voters were turned away at Studio 54 once upon a time as well.

David Roth: "The shit I was getting was so stepped-on and baby laxative-y I don't even know if you could call it yay," Ken Rosenthal said earlier, by way of explaining his votes. "You went, like, straight to the sinus bullshit and having to go to the bathroom without ever getting where you were trying to go. Wait, sorry, meant to say: I'm waiting for Frank Thomas next year."

David Raposa: Wow—if the BBWAA is waiting to cast their "pure" votes for the man-mountain that played college football at Auburn, then I'm throwing in the towel. Which might or might not be wrapped around some used syringes.

David Roth: Honest Frank. And Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine. You must be THIS SKINNY to enter the Hall of Fame.

David Raposa: Or have this much paunch.

David Roth: "That's why I cast my only vote this year for Matt Stairs. I don't care that he's not yet eligible, WHAT'S RIGHT IS WHAT'S RIGHT."

David Raposa: The acceptable HOF body types range from Babe Ruth to Kent Tekulve.

David Roth: Kent Hrbek being the golden mean. Here as elsewhere.

David Raposa: Any untoward six-pack definition is grounds for a lifetime ban.

David Roth: "Excellence has a face."

David Raposa: And a very comforting double chin.

David Roth: And what looks like an entire Wendy's Big Beef And Cheddar in each cheek.

David Roth: I thought this quote was even more telling than Rosenthal's, though: "[Chass] was fired from his job as a professor for telling the truth about literature, but that offended some identity politics types, some of them black women. He then struck up a relationship with a vivacious young gentile woman but it didn't work out because he was still so angry at his parents. His ex-wife was totally crazy. Finally, he moved to the woods, alone with his memories and anger and bilious libido. He probably dies at the end."

David Roth: SORRY: that is the plot of Philip Roth's unpublished novel, "Seetherman," starring Murray Chass.

David Raposa: Clearly Roth retired just in time.

David Raposa: I would love to build a time machine, just to go back and watch guys like King Kelly and Cap Anson snort powdered tiger dick and drink Spanish Fly coffee between innings.

David Roth: Well, but it was a different time. Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis had not yet added PTD to the list of banned substances.

David Roth: I've read a decent number of Here's How We Can Fix The Voting columns, and I guess I appreciate the work that goes into them. But I mostly like the idea of baseball writers chilling out a little bit on the self-righteousness and arbitrary sanctimony. That said, "Don't Be Such Assholes, You Guys, Okay?" is not necessarily a thesis that works.

David Raposa: It barely works in the proper world. Was there a report about guys that were never even MLB writers having a HOF vote?

David Roth: Our dude Darren Viola was keeping track of the ballots at Baseball Think Factory, and there were definitely a few from utter randos.

David Raposa: Can someone get Armond White into the BBWAA? Given his annual contrarian "This film is better than that film" columns, I'd love to see him weigh in on baseball.

David Roth: "It should be obvious why I voted for Marty Cordova instead of Barry Bonds. He's just better."

David Raposa: Other ding-dongs I'd like to see receive a ballot: Bob Lefsetz, Alex Jones, Orly Taitz, and Silvio Berlusconi.

David Roth: And Mancow and some commenters from Free Republic and Three Bleacher Report Featured Columnists.

David Raposa: Top 50 Reason Why I Didn't Vote For Anyone On My Hall of Fame Ballot (Page 1 of 2984)

David Roth: Judging by the results, it seems like David Brooks already has a vote.

David Raposa: David Brooks is still confused as to how the Rockies' six-man rotational gambit didn't lead to a World Series victory.

David Roth: "This is a daring new idea. I remember when Jim Tracy first discussed it a TED Talk I attended in Palo Alto, the audience gasped. So it is with the shock of the new. Anyway, I voted for Jack Morris because he was his generation's pre-eminent winner, and winning is important. You know, there's an interesting study on this…"

David Raposa: Should I bother admitting that I, too, would've also voted for Aaron Sele? I mean, he might not have the career numbers, or the peak performance, but only those that saw him allow four earned runs in five-plus innings of work know his true worth.

David Roth: One person did vote for him! I don't mind that tradition at all. Someone throwing Kent Bottenfield or Richard Hidalgo a vote every year.

David Raposa: Or Pete Rose.

David Roth: He got written-in a few times, I think. (Bottenfield, I mean)

David Raposa: Yeah, and that's a guy whose actions actually and objectively had a deleterious effect on the game. And he gets more love than folks who didn't even do anything wrong. Shit, I think I'm actually starting to care about this now. FREE ALEX SANCHEZ! MANNY ALEXANDER WAS FRAMED! COO-PERS-TOWN! COO-PERS-TOWN!

David Roth: No justice, no peace. David Justice, I mean.

David Raposa: No Peace Incaviglia, either.

David Roth: EXPECT US.


Share |

Comments

seo I really loved reading your blog. It was very well authored and easy to understand. Unlike other blogs I have read which are really not that good. visit this site hurry up waiting your order low obl unique domain Thanks alot! dofollow blog comments

Keep the balls rolling!! Nice posts you have given for us.Gaijin Web and Graphics

From the gigantic measures of comments on your articles, I figure I am by all record not by any means the only one having all the entertainment here ! beauty tips and secrets

I check your web diary standard and endeavor to take in something from your blog. check over here

I was searching for many blogs site and now finally I have got this cool place with lots of information.push button influence bonus

While the admin of the web site is working, no question soon it will likely be famous, due to its feature blogs.inbox blueprint 2.0

I in a general sense wish to offer a massive proceed for the sensible data you have right here on this post. fish finder

I beginning late went once again your article and have been inspecting along..I couldn't discover any learning on this matter earlier to. https://twitter.com/___koneko___/status/716853693283450880

I truly worship your dedication to offer your perusers such colossal data. instagram followers app | insta liker

This web journal is superb. You know such an uncommon entirety about this subject. Pave Numerique Pas Cher

You share tons of interesting info, neat and excellent design you’ve got here. It’s certainly one of the most informative stuff on this topic I’ve ever read..free forex strategies

Hello, this is fastidious post I actually loved reading this.cheap club flyer

Your website is for sure worth bookmarking.whole term life insurance companies

I feel happiness to read the content that you are posting.payday loans for va

And I hope that other readers will also experience how I feel after reading your article. buy garcinia cambogia

I have learnt various good stuff right here, and I’m sure everyone will get advantage of it.pay day loans

I know that you explain it very well. And I hope that other readers will also experience how I feel after reading your article. taxi from delhi to jaipur

but the air has so gone out of the Mets. It's like everyone picked up a serious painkiller-and-wine habit at the same time. dedicated server

It's hard to know exactly how it happens, but the air has so gone out of the Mets. It's like everyone picked up a serious painkiller-and-wine habit at the same time... ContinuedInnovation

I like this concept. I visited your blog for the first time and just been your fan. Keep posting as I am gonna come to read it every day. IVCFilter-Lawsuit.com

if you want it to be, although there seems to be some tacit and mostly incomprehensible understanding of what and who is and isn't suspicious.. agen bola terpercaya

Lucas Duda demotion and a whole lot of Jason Bay's multi-million dollar Gary Matthews Jr. impression. packers and movers pune to hyderabad

I am happy to find this post very useful for me, as it contains lot of information. delhi to ajmer taxi

It's like everyone picked up a serious painkiller-and-wine habit at the same time supreme garcinia cambogia canada

particular, seems to me like what our national politics would be like if the only people allowed to vote were middle-class insured profits download

Well this article that ive been waited for therefore long. i want this article website traffic

full info along with diagram with in few weeks.packers and movers pune rates

I definitely enjoy every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff of your blog a must read blog! jaipur to delhi cab

I thank you about that. No doubt it will be very useful for my future projects. Would like to see some other posts on the same subject! ., .packers and movers pune to hyderabad

sexxxx XXXX Video : free Live Sex, porn, HOT sexy girls and beautiful sexxxx body, gifs Also ranking of the best xxx porn sites. Please visit http://www.xxxx-video.com/ ...

female hair loss treatment home remedies Fit for Life. Hair loss in women is more common than you may think. However, it is rarely discussed due to embarrassment and the negative feelings associated with the condition. Although experiencing hair loss may be an unwelcome shock, the quicker help is sought, the more likely it is that the condition can be prevented from worsening. Please click here my link http://pregnancyandfitness.com/what-to-do-to-stop-female-hair-loss/ ...

Boost Your Bust: Get The Sexy Curves That Drive Men Wild By Using The "Magic Formula" To Natural Breast Enlargement. buy instagram followers | instagram likes

I want you to thank for your time of this wonderful read!!! I definitely enjoy every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff of your blog a must read blog!venus factor exercises

You actually make it look so easy with your performance but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never comprehend. Nutrisystem Fast 5

I am overwhelmed by your post with such a nice topic. Usually I visit your blogs and get updated through the information you include but today’s blog would be the most appreciable. Well done!rebelmouse article

I visit your blogs and get updated through the information you include but today’s blog would be the most appreciable. הסעות מלוטון ללונדון

http://www.erset.net/what-to-do-when-you-start-going-bald-7-remedies-to-try/ What To Do When You Start Going Bald (7 Remedies To Try). Many people who are going bald slip into denial as reality gradually sets in. Every tactic from the infamous “comb-over” to spending exhausting hours in the mirror trying to hide their hair loss is implemented. Since ancient times, wigs and toupees have been used to help cover up the obvious. Please visit my website page http://www.erset.net/what-to-do-when-you-start-going-bald-7-remedies-to-... ...

Some people are very fond of reading books will be able to distinguish the best book as a guide and a book that is not good. It all depends with your reading experience. Free PDFs

pretty sure we could scientifically prove that it's 100% dumb with a very small margin of error. loft conversions london

seems to me like what our national politics would be like if the only people allowed to vote were middle-class men between loft conversion costs

EMEA Lead Generation The latest in B2B technology, marketing, human resources and business news. Cutting edge blog posts, white paper downloads, webinars and more. Please visit http://knowledgehubmedia.com/Media-Kit.htm ...

enlarge breasts naturally without surgery Boost Your Bust: Get The Sexy Curves That Drive Men Wild By Using The "Magic Formula" To Natural Breast Enlargement. This site is a leading resource for information about the Jenny Bolton Boost Your Bust PDF book and breast enhancement system that teaches you how to get bigger breasts naturally right from home. Includes a collection of Jenny Bolton Boost Your Bust reviews, PDF ebook download information, and tips for increasing your cup size from around the web. Please click here web https://www.rebelmouse.com/boostyourbustjennybolton/ ...

webseite The Diabetes Protocol: Dr. Kenneth Pullman Reveals His Breakthrough, Day-By-Day "Insulin Ignoring" System To Balance Blood Sugar Levels And Reverse Diabetes Right From Home... Written for consumers by a consumer, this fan site includes a fun and informative Diabetes Protocol review, ebook FAQ, and PDF download guide that provides an insider's look at the program and answers frequently asked questions about Dr. Kenneth Pullman's unique and highly popular diabetes cure. Please click here link: https://www.rebelmouse.com/thediabetesprotocolreviews/ ...

how to get a gf if you're fat A Gift of Love is here to help you find your soulmate. We will direct you to the best online dating sites and give you relationship advice. For more info, please click here my weblink: http://a-gift-of-love.com/ ...

PornoPrensi.com PornoPrensi.com is Turkey's number one adult website, it features over 3,6 million videos,175,000 adult pictures, and a wide range of live sex cams of girls, guys, couples, trans and more. PornoPrensi.com has over 100 categories of adult videos and pictures for you to enjoy, so there is more than enough videos and pics to cater for all needs. Live Sex Cam on PornoPrensi.com give you the visitor a chance to see hot girls, guys and couples in live action, you'll get the opportunity to send requests, and should you feel so inclined, tip them for their performance, it's so much fun and so easy to use. Check out PornoPrensi.com today and discover for yourself why it's Turkey's number one! Please visit http://www.pornoprensi.com/ ...

Mallorca escort Come and book the most sexy and indulgent Ibiza escorts and Mallorca escorts today from Palma Babes. Please click here web http://www.palmababes.com/ ...

next step World’s Best Head 2.0: Joshua Rose & Alexa Aimes Reveal A Weirdly Effective "Blow Job Button" For Getting A Woman Sexually And Emotionally Addicted To Taking You In Her Mouth Every Chance She Gets... Written for consumers by a consumer, this fan site includes a fun and informative World’s Best Head 2.0 review, ebook FAQ, and PDF download guide that provides an insider's look at the program and answers frequently asked questions about Joshua Rose & Alexa Aimes' unique and highly popular fellatio guide. For more info, Please click here website: https://www.rebelmouse.com/worldsbestheadreview/ ...

how to make a man beg to be with you Secrets Of The Irresistible Lover: Nadine Piat Reveals A Weirdly Effective, Science-Backed "Sensual Lover Technique" For Making A Man Physically And Emotionally Intoxicated By You... Written for consumers by a consumer, this fan site includes a fun and informative Secrets Of The Irresistible Lover review, ebook FAQ, and PDF download guide that provides an insider's look at the program and answers frequently asked questions about Nadine Piat's unique and highly popular relationship guide. Please click here website: https://www.rebelmouse.com/secretsoftheirresistiblelover/ ...

Mallorca escort Come and book the most sexy and indulgent Ibiza escorts and Mallorca escorts today from Palma Babes. Please click here web http://www.palmababes.com/ ...

how to get a girl to fall in love with you fast What Is The Girlfriend Activation System? The Girlfriend Activation System (GFAS) is a dating and attraction system created by popular pick-up expert. For more info, Please click here web url: http://girlfriendactivationsystem.co/girlfriend-activation-system-review/ ...