WWE and the Vast Right-Crossface-Chicken-Wing Conspiracy

Zeb Colter, Glenn Beck and Linda McMahon walk into a wrestling ring...
Share |

Originally published February 27, 2013.

Karl Rove's on-air meltdown during Fox News' election-night coverage might have been one of the greatest pieces of political theater in recent years, but behind it was a very real struggle for the center of the Republican Party. Rove had always held the radical view that the party should adapt to changing demographics and maybe stop making a point of hating Latino immigrants so outwardly and vehemently, and the expensively manufactured quasi-populist Tea Party movement disagreed. And now that we know the Tea Party is really only good at holding up Congressional legislation, the party is changing, and we're seeing Rovian types scrambling to hold up guys like Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz as potential leaders of anything. Obviously, this has all been crazy fun to watch. But I'd argue that the same struggle, playing as it is in WWE rings, is even more fascinating.

For a few generations now, Connecticut's McMahon family has controlled the WWE. McMahon matron Linda McMahon has run for Senate as a Republican twice, and she's lost spectacularly both times, culminating in the bizarre spectacle of her most recent concession speech. Linda spent a bit of time attempting to throw in with the Tea Party, but the McMahons are, at heart, old-school Northeastern business-class Republicans. If the religious right mattered that much to them, they wouldn't have booked the Undertaker to crucify Stone Cold Steve Austin on their TV show 14 years ago. And until a couple of weeks ago, the family's strongest statement on their Party's dissolution was a Daniel Bryan/Kane sketch that ineffectually made fun of Nate Silver. But now we've got Zeb Colter, which is something different.

***

As a WWE wrestler, Jack Swagger has never amounted to too much. He's a towering blonde corn-fed Okie with impressive collegiate wrestling credentials, and the company once made a decent go at transforming him into Kurt Angle when Angle left for TNA. He had some fun matches on the WWE's doomed ECW reboot, and there was a brief and unmemorable run as World Heavyweight Champion, but in the past few years Swagger has mostly only gotten TV time when someone's had to lose to a bigger star. He's serviceable in the ring and a vast blank on the microphone, and that's not a combination that leads to great WWE success. And a few months ago, he made some vague statement about needing to find himself and disappeared from WWE TV completely. The great wrestling critic Brandon Stroud wrote a serialized novella during that absence, imagining Swagger on a John Carter-style mission to Mars. But as far as the WWE was concerned, Swagger was actually off being jumped into an isolationist militia somewhere.

Swagger returned about a month ago, suddenly dominant and now referring to his ankle lock finishing move as the Patriot Act. And shortly after his return, he introduced a new friend, a feverish proselytizer named Zeb Colter. Colter, with his Yosemite Sam mustache drooping over his survivalist beard and his all cargo everything, looks like the very picture of an amateur border patrol enthusiast. Judging by his speeches, he's a single-issue nutball. He wants the immigrants gone.

Colter is actually Dutch Mantel, an old-school Southern wrestling bad guy who knows how to sell this poppycock because, you get the idea, he actually believes at least a little piece of it. His new stage name manages to mock both Ann Coulter and Uncle Zeb, the hick character he played for a while in the 90s WWF. Zeb has a bit of a mysterious backstory; like Mantel, he's a Vietnam vet, and he fought alongside Swagger's father, fighting for an America that he no longer recognizes. WWE audiences being what they are, there's always a remote chance that they'll start cheering his rhetoric. But thus far, the company has been doing an excellent job presenting him and Swagger as clear-cut bad guys, to the point where Glenn Beck called out the company for parodying his own self-parody of a viewpoint. (There's now a minor one-way feud going on between the WWE and Beck, with WWE sending camera crews to Beck's office and attempting to force him to show up on Raw, and Colter even breaking character for long enough to assume a moral high ground.)

With Zeb around, Swagger no longer has to talk; he just has to destroy people in matches and loom behind Zeb during speeches, occasionally shouting. "We! The People!" He's pretty good at both of those things. The Colter/Swagger duo comes across most clearly in a series of deliberately crude YouTube videos, with both of them standing against shitty wood paneling, Swagger scowling while Colter reels off talk-radio talking points. But Swagger is now being presented as an absolute threat. Earlier this month, he scored a flukey pin against dominant star Randy Orton to win a deeply entertaining six-man Elimination Chamber match, which made Swagger the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship heading into Wrestlemania.

His opponent at the company's biggest annual show will be the Mexican wrestler Alberto Del Rio, presented as a foreign aristocrat until a few months ago, when the company realized that maybe their most prominent Latino wrestler shouldn't be a complete dick. As a grinning babyface, Del Rio's been a revelation, as his recent series of successful matches against the behemoth Big Show has made clear. And now Swagger and Colter, of course, are claiming that a Mexican wrestler shouldn't be the champion in an American company, and Del Rio is (somewhat disingenuously) calling the U.S. the greatest country on earth because it gives someone like him a chance. At a certain point, this stuff writes itself.

But in knowingly incurring the wrath of Beck and Coulter, the McMahons are making their own centrist-Republican stand, throwing their goofy fictional lot in with Del Rio’s only-in-America platitudes, and with Rove and the assembled forces of establishment Republican orthodoxy. When the McMahons make political stands through their characters, they're usually blasting impossibly easy targets: Russia, Iran, those who would censor WWE programming. But here, they're taking clear and deliberate aim at a viewpoint that a decent chunk of their fans might hold. They might even be hoping to change minds, to make the world a safer place for a third Linda McMahon Senate run, or for, at least, the philosophies that the failed runs represented.

Last week, Mississippi police arrested Swagger after a WWE show, charging him with DUI and marijuana possession. The WWE has lately been taking wrestler drug use seriously, and offenses like that would usually get Swagger jerked off of WWE TV for weeks, maybe even fired. I wanted to write this piece last week, but I held off because I thought the arrest would gum up the plans. That didn't happen. Swagger and Colter were back on WWE TV this Monday, as if nothing had happened. That's a clear sign that the McMahons really, really want to tell this story. When the fight for the soul of the Republican Party takes the form of spandex-clad grapplers, it means fascinating things are happening on your TV, and that maybe you should pay attention.


Share |

Comments

Such bathrooms can still be enhanced by providing better finishes such as sanitary fittings of a higher quality, apart from its layout, noted Mr Francis Koh, group chief executive of Koh Brothers Group.
Khuyến mi giảm giá

I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well.
Weight Loss South Melbourne

it's really nice and meanful. it's really cool blog. Linking is very useful thing.you have really helped lots of people who visit blog and provide them usefull information.
diwali 2017 quotes

This content is written very well. Your use of formatting when making your points makes your observations very clear and easy to understand. Thank you!
Bed Ratings

I really like the dear information you offer in your articles. I’m able to bookmark your site and show the kids check out up here generally. Im fairly positive theyre likely to be informed a great deal of new stuff here than anyone else!
Mattress Reviews

Great tips and very easy to understand. This will definitely be very useful for me when I get a chance to start my blog.
Deepawali greetings 2017

s-bobet.com I have read your blog it is very helpful for me. I want to say thanks to you. I have bookmark your site for future updates.

iaso tea I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will post a link to this page on my blog. I am sure my visitors will locate that extremely useful...

Really great post, Thank you for sharing This knowledge.Excellently written article, if only all bloggers offered the same level of content as you, the internet would be a much better place. Please keep it up!
radio 105

A very awesome blog post. We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post.
http://bestglendalechiro.com/

I definitely really liked every part of it and i also have you saved to fav to look at new information in your site.
smart essay writing service

You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up. Great work.
make my homework

essay writing services I have read your blog it is very helpful for me. I want to say thanks to you. I have bookmark your site for future updates.

Such a very useful article. Very interesting to read this article.I would like to thank you for the efforts you had made for writing this awesome article.
ignou exam result

voyance par telephone I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will post a link to this page on my blog. I am sure my visitors will locate that extremely useful...

iaso tea I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will post a link to this page on my blog. I am sure my visitors will locate that extremely useful...

A very awesome blog post. We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post.
flat in Chandigarh

A very awesome blog post. We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post.
download showbox app

Youtvplayer apk
It appears as though spent lots of time and effort in your blog. I’ve saved it and i’m searching toward reading through new articles.

Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.
Extreme Landings

You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up. Great work.
essay typer

It appears as though spent lots of time and effort in your blog. I’ve saved it and i’m searching toward reading through new articles.
betet expected date

download subway surfers for pc I am very glad to see such information which I was searching for a long time.This made very glad..

You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up.
Fitness On The Weekend

it's really nice and meanful. it's really cool blog. Linking is very useful thing.you have really helped lots of people who visit blog and provide them usefull information.
more info

Really great post, Thank you for sharing This knowledge.Excellently written article, if only all bloggers offered the same level of content as you, the internet would be a much better place. Please keep it up!
augmented reality marketing

Actually I am not habituate to reply a comment on blogs but this blog caught my attention and I am compelled to write a comment here to express my gratitude to you. I would like to appreciate for this awesome work.
Family Law Campbelltown

Thanks a lot very much for the high quality and results-oriented help. I won’t think twice to endorse your blog post to anybody who wants and needs support about this area.
Skincare Products

It is great to have the opportunity to read a good quality article with useful information on topics that plenty are interested on.
naija

Evenings are usually all people need adequate lighting. They have to look at various objects around him clearly and well.
Track Blue dart order

Actually I am not habituate to reply a comment on blogs but this blog caught my attention and I am compelled to write a comment here to express my gratitude to you. I would like to appreciate for this awesome work.
Diving Offers

Evenings are usually all people need adequate lighting. They have to look at various objects around him clearly and well.
SEO

This type of message always inspiring and I prefer to read quality content. so happy to find good place to many here in the post. the writing is just great. thanks for the post.
collaboration and innovation

This type of message always inspiring and I prefer to read quality content. so happy to find good place to many here in the post. the writing is just great. thanks for the post.
collaboration and innovation

Thanks a lot very much for the high quality and results-oriented help. I won’t think twice to endorse your blog post to anybody who wants and needs support about this area.
wadi shab

I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well.
summerslam 2017 winner

First You got a great blog .I will be interested in more similar topics. i see you got really very useful topics.
best christmas laser projector light

The post is written in very a good manner and it entails many useful information for me. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post. Now you make it easy for me to understand and implement the concept.
dentalrave

Evenings are usually all people need adequate lighting. They have to look at various objects around him clearly and well.
double disc grinding

I really like the dear information you offer in your articles. I’m able to bookmark your site and show the kids check out up here generally.
download manuals free

Evenings are usually all people need adequate lighting. They have to look at various objects around him clearly and well.
best computer language course in delhi

exchange services
Your blog provided us with valuable to work with. Each & every tips of your post are awesome. Thanks a lot for sharing. Keep blogging..

The post is written in very a good manner and it entails many useful information for me. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post. Now you make it easy for me to understand and implement the concept.
application for 1 hour payday loans

I discovered your site ideal for me. It consists of wonderful and useful posts. I've read many of them and also got so much from them. In my experience, you do the truly amazing.Truly i'm impressed out of this publish.
dinhthehien.com

Such a very useful article. Very interesting to read this article.I would like to thank you for the efforts you had made for writing this awesome article.
2 trieu

wow, great, I was wondering how to cure acne naturally. and found your site by google, learned a lot, now i’m a bit clear. I’ve bookmark your site and also add rss. keep us updated.
Safeway auto insurance

Thanks for a wonderful share. Your article has proved your hard work and experience you have got in this field. Brilliant .i love it reading.
crowd sales

wow, great, I was wondering how to cure acne naturally. and found your site by google, learned a lot, now i’m a bit clear. I’ve bookmark your site and also add rss. keep us updated.
Richard

Excellent information on your blog. thank you for taking the time to share with us.
statement necklaces

Through this post, I know that your good knowledge in playing with all the pieces was very helpful. I notify that this is the first place where I find issues I've been searching for. You have a clever yet attractive way of writing.
guia de restituição do icms