What's Eating Roger Goodell

Whatever Super Bowl Sunday brings us, Krewe du Vieux's float of a giant vagina eating Roger Goodell has already given us the most enduring, and maybe most appropriate, image for Super Bowl XLV.
Share |

Gunner Guidry, the co-captain of subkrewe Inane of Krewe du Vieux, asked that whatever I write about the float that he and his fellow crewmembers made—a float-size rendering of lurid, livid, vaguely Little Shop of Horrors-ian vagina that was devouring a very unhappy looking papier-mache rendering of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell—make mention of Krewe du Vieux's mission statement.

Which mission statement reads: "The Krewe du Vieux is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the historical and traditional concept of a Mardi Gras parade as a venue for individual creative expression and satirical comment." So there is that, and then there is that predatory pudenda with the sport's powerful commissioner defeated in its… what, jaws? Aperture? And where those two collide—a long history and tradition of irreverence on one side, Roger Goodell on the other—there is what's almost certain to be the most memorable image of Super Bowl XLV.

It helps, of course, that the float is both hideous and wonderfully ornate—Mike Alltmont, an Inane krewemember who worked on the float with his wife and fellow krewemember Ava, pointed out that the giant vagina has "a lovely disco ball clitoris." This sort of thing—that is, jokes in blithely ribald bad taste, done with artisinal attachment to detail—is what Krewe du Vieux does. They did it somewhat earlier than usual this year, as the Super Bowl moved up Krewe du Vieux's parade and occasioned the Krewe's chosen theme, "Krewe du Vieux Comes Early," but it's what they always do. In the New Orleans Times-Picayune's review of the Krewe du Vieux parade, Doug MacCash notes that the Krewe "aims for eyebrow-raising, low-brow amusement and often hits the mark." Guidry was slightly more specific: "Through the years [Krewe du Vieux] has morphed itself into an adult parade and every so often genitalia seems to be sculpted." Alltmont was even more so: "There are a lot boobs, butts, cocks, balls, and vajayjays in Krewe du Vieux; we have sub-krewes named L.E.W.D., C.R.U.D.E., sPANK, and the Mystic Krewe of Spermes after all. That said, they are not always swallowing public figures."

The reason this particular genital item is eating this particular public figure has to do with with Goodell's harsh, extrajudicial and since-overturned suspensions of various former Saints after it was revealed that one of the NFL's worst defenses was also one of its most worst, with players hunting bounties for defective Cobra Kai godfather and defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. That Goodell decided to play his authoritarian card during a season in which New Orleans was hosting the Super Bowl certainly did a lot to put his stressed-looking effigy inside that giant vagina, but is finally a matter of timing. Things did come together especially fortuitously in this case—the Super Bowl's Roman numerals inspired Krewe du Vieux's "Super Hole XLVag" concept, for instance. But even if the Super Bowl had been somewhere else, Guidry and Alltmont gave the impression that, one way or another, Goodell was going to wind up inside that vagina, or in a similar situation, if indeed any similar situation can be said to exist. An early concept, Alltmont relates, was a ten-foot Saints fleur de lis with "an extra-pointy bottom tip staked in Goodell's ass." That was eventually judged untenable; the "fire-breathing scary clown we have at our fundraiser" was not available to further augment Krewe du Vieux's float due to a scheduling conflict.

And yet this still seems something like the right float at the right time, and not only because, as Guidry says, "If you ask just about anyone on the streets of New Orleans, 'Would you like to watch the demise of Roger Goodell by a giant man-eating vagina?' Their answers would be 'yes.'" There is that, of course, but there's also everything else.

Goodell, in a way that even David Stern has barely dared, has tried to bring lockstep brand-managed predictability to the NFL. From the perspective that Goodell and the league's owners—at whose pleasure and as whose proxy Goodell serves—this is a fine idea; they view the league as a profitable business, and quite logically want to extract more profits for themselves from it. And so the owners locked out players, and then locked out officials, in search of maximizing profits on the labor side of the equation; so the league continues to hunt for leverage and explore synergies and hone its own wholly false brand truths, and generally behave with the not-quite-human but extremely self-conscious rapacity of any other corporation. The entire sport is now more or less a disaster area, strewn with the human wreckage that the game makes; it is also hugely profitable, increasingly popular, and arguably more entertaining to watch than it has been at any time in the past. It's a gold mine and a Superfund site at once. In short, a strange place.

There are various different ways that Goodell and the NFL's elite could confront this reality, and shape a future—thousands of looming litigants, fading into the damage the sport inflicts; lawsuits that could humble and conceivably bankrupt even this hugely profitable league—that's marginally less bleak. This can be done, and should be done—the NFL, for all its issues, is great to watch, and would be great to watch even if more serious and less cosmetic measures were taken to protect the players who are both the league's labor and its product, both on the field and after. None of these things are easy, none of them are perfect, and none of them will fully mitigate the violence that's not so much intertwined with football's appeal as intrinsic and inherent to it. But Goodell and the NFL are not doing any of those things, not really. The NFL's owners are getting while the getting is there to get; Goodell is managing that project for them. For the moment, at least in the most basic of bottom-line senses, it's working, although we can't yet know whether the NFL is growing into another stage of rude strength or merely bloating with sickness.

This Super Bowl will not be about that. It will be about what other recent Super Bowls have been about, which is a sort of dimly understood and loudly expressed and increasingly queasy sort of community—a thing we all do together, and feel increasingly strange about doing at all. The NFL is being devoured, if not by anything quite as picturesque or amusing/horrifying to look at as a giant papier-mache vagina. No wonder that effigy looks so fucking unhappy. That's the face of someone who knows what's coming, maybe not too soon, but soon enough.


Share |

Comments

I definitely enjoying every little bit of it. It is a great website and nice share. I want to thank you. Good job! You guys do a great blog, and have some great contents. Keep up the good work overseas private detectives

Thumbs up guys your doing a truly terrific job. Van hire north london

people of this country to emerge from the shadows of indifference, apathy, cynicism, fear, and those other dark places that we migrate to when we are overwhelmed by frustration and the loss of hope
lebanon escorts

Excellent and decent post. I found this much informative. I'm impressed by the details that you have on this web site. Thank you for this post Click Here

Sometimes it may take me a few days, but if you put "Diabetes Destroyer System Question" in the title of your email, it will help me find it and respond quicker. animation services in los angeles

This means that you will have an unlimited music library that you can use to create your own karaoke video and music tracks at your own pleasure. Get Your Voice today and tap into that hidden talent for amazing results! packers and movers pune rates

It will help you provide insight and challenge how you coach to make you a better you. This then impacts on your environment and performers to improve performance

granite palm city florida

Hi there, I discovered your blog per Google bit searching for such kinda educational advise moreover your inform beholds very remarkable for me. baroque plastic cutlery

Purchase Office 2016 Professional for 28.99! Completely digital transaction. Genuine License received within 1-2 hours! Also offering Windows 10 Pro Complete full version for 24.99!!!
http://www.virtualsoftwareshop.com/collections/microsoft/products/micros... Other discounted software titles available as well. www.virtualsoftwareshop.com

I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to start my own BlogEngine blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a fine example of it.Gaming Industry

Create an experience during your next night out! Check out our video and website on trending clubs and nightlife going on in NYC.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2-LByxuRhA

There is that, of course, but there's also everything else Unlock iPhone

Visit Houston Real Estate website for the best Houston Homes For Sale, presented by Houston Broker Nema Ghalamdanchi with 007 Signature Realty Houston, TX. Search over 70,000 residential Houston Real Estate listings for sale in the greater Houston TX area including, Luxury Homes, Single Family Homes, Condos, & Highrises for sale in Houston, Texas. Houston Real Estate and Relocation - Search for a home in the greater Houston area.Houston Homes for sale

Your way to enlighten everything on this blog is actually pleasant, everyone manage to efficiently be familiar with it, Thanks a great deal overseas detectives

Good work on this post! I really like the way you delivered your qualitative facts and how you made this fascinating and effortless to realize catch cheating husband

People nowadays want to plan their wedding best among all and they want it to be perfect. It is the occasion that comes once in a lifetime, so they want to make it special at any cost.

Galaxy S8 Price

The site is looking piece garish and it gets the guests eyes. Outline is really straightforward and a decent easy to use interface. christian rehab

10 a.m. at the church with Steve Ulrich officiating. Visitation will be held today from 4 to 7 p.m. at Mason Funeral Home in Metamora and Friday morning from 9 to 10 a.m. at the church. Burial will follow the service in the Roanoke Mennonite Church Cemetery, rural Eureka.winzip activation code

Your Voice is the Karaoke app for you if you have ever harbored a secret desire to be a music star with your own bevy of fans. Your Voice is the app for you if you have ever wished to craft and create successful music on your own. Your Voice will guide you and help you practice to be a better singer and performer and also share your performances with the rest of the world. It will be fun and quite easy to sing along to your favorite song. In fact, you can also record yourself singing or dancing in a video. At the click of a button, you can send this video to all your friends and loved ones, as well as professionals in the music industry. Sharing videos is compatible with social medias. We use in an immense database of all the songs and music videos that you could ever think of. We are constantly updating our collection of music from YouTube and cataloguing them each and every day. This means that you will have an unlimited music library that you can use to create your own karaoke video and music tracks at your own pleasure. Get Your Voice today and tap into that hidden talent for amazing results! kids karaoke machine

The current diet regime that one may be using may not be effective enough to meet the goals and the timelines that are desired. That is why you need to try out the 3 week diet system. 3 Week Diet Reviews

I really enjoy simply reading all of your weblogs. Simply wanted to inform you that you have people like me who appreciate your work. Jail broken Amazon Fire TV Stick

Really great post, Thank you for sharing This knowledge.Excellently written article, if only all bloggers offered the same level of content as you, the internet would be a much better place. Please keep it up! high trust flow

werkten als (interim) leidinggevende. Met deze ervaring geven zij HNL Company een stevige basis. SAME DAY FLOWER DELIVERY

Excellent article. Very interesting to read. I really love to read such a nice article. Thanks! keep rocking.www.rebelmouse.com/phen375fatburnerreviews/

Thanks you very much for sharing these links. Will definitely check this out...private detective

We provide Legal Services for the clients of Toronto, Brampton, Richmond Hill, New Market, Markham Ajax, Pickering, Aurora, Barrie, Georgina and Oshawa approximately within 75 kilometres from our main office. paralegal services

There is also an extra section that follows the fourth main section, "Additional Training", meant for providing the user with all information considered by Brown to be complementary to all of the main information provided in the bulk of the main course.www.rebelmouse.com/googlesniper_reviews/

Thank You". For many reason I did understand you had made a remark. While in the meantime, I hope you have tried out several of my menstrual cup usa

I did understand you had made a remark. While in the meantime, I hope you have tried out several . taxi in ajmer

I’m excited to uncover this page. I need to to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely really liked every part of it and i also have you saved to fav to look at new information in your site.
water damage

I thought I would leave my first remark. I don't recognize what to say with the exception of that I have delighted in perusing. Decent blog. I will continue going by this site frequently. circle of profit

This is the reason why women find it more difficult to lose fat than men, anything else being equal, like calories and exercise. http://myvenusfactorguide.com/ve nus-weight-loss-program-benefits/

I am overwhelmed by your post with such a nice topic. Usually I visit your blogs and get updated through the information you include but today’s blog would be the most appreciable. Well donespanish podcasts

Someone Sometimes with visits your blog regularly and recommended it in my experience to read as well. The way of writing is excellent and also the content is top-notch. Thanks for that insight you provide the readers! amasuite

We offer multiple payback options which include daily, weekly & monthly. Our site offer s "apply now" page as well.Promo codes

This is truly a decent and useful, containing all data furthermore greatly affects the new innovation. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing it . clash of clans gem hack

i appreciate your efforts taken for the same. I found this worth sharing and must share this with all..Pls visit us:essay blog

That gives off an impression of being amazing anyway i am still not very beyond any doubt that I like it. At any rate will look much more into it and choose by and by! DNA Wealth Blueprint 3.0 - StanfordPelage.com

I did feel reading articles or reviews or possibly feedback documented right. They are simply quickly top-quality there is a large amount of good skill source

white flour, high-fructose corn syrup, no GMOs, trans fats and additives to not only promote better health but also sustainable farming. ferragem para construção

If you set out to make me think today; mission accomplished! I really like your writing style and how you express your ideas.
lights2you.com.au

Blue Paisley Fine Rugs is Toronto’s newest premier provider of luxurious high quality rugs offering the widest selection in size, colour and services. We believe that every fine rug tells a story and manifests a tradition; it is an investment for generations to come and selecting one should be a tailored fulfilling experience. Our family works closely with our clients and suppliers to ensure that every selection leads to satisfaction for decades. Toronto Rug Cleaning

Thanks for sharing nice information with us. i like your post and all you share with us is uptodate and quite informative, i would like to bookmark the page so i can come here again to read you, as you have done a wonderful job Jarabacoa

I really like the dear information you offer in your articles. I’m able to bookmark your site and show the kids check out up here generally.who is looking to hire

I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up.

Leeds Tuition Education Centre

It proved to be very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! http://www.claudiamccants.com/need-know-natural-hair-wigs/

aspects to this, and you have opened up another train of thought for me to examine.
click this link

We offer you the chance to practice your piano skills by providing you with any song that you wish to learn. Take the unique chance and give your talent a try! Free piano sheets

threw a bad pass at the worst possible time. That the quarterback happened to be Peyton Manning shouldn’t invert the narrative quite this much. If the quarterback hadn’t been Peyton Manning, it’s hard to believe it would.Cash for gold

This is one of the most important blogs that I have seen, keep it up!

urlopener