What's Eating Roger Goodell

Whatever Super Bowl Sunday brings us, Krewe du Vieux's float of a giant vagina eating Roger Goodell has already given us the most enduring, and maybe most appropriate, image for Super Bowl XLV.
Share |

Gunner Guidry, the co-captain of subkrewe Inane of Krewe du Vieux, asked that whatever I write about the float that he and his fellow crewmembers made—a float-size rendering of lurid, livid, vaguely Little Shop of Horrors-ian vagina that was devouring a very unhappy looking papier-mache rendering of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell—make mention of Krewe du Vieux's mission statement.

Which mission statement reads: "The Krewe du Vieux is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the historical and traditional concept of a Mardi Gras parade as a venue for individual creative expression and satirical comment." So there is that, and then there is that predatory pudenda with the sport's powerful commissioner defeated in its… what, jaws? Aperture? And where those two collide—a long history and tradition of irreverence on one side, Roger Goodell on the other—there is what's almost certain to be the most memorable image of Super Bowl XLV.

It helps, of course, that the float is both hideous and wonderfully ornate—Mike Alltmont, an Inane krewemember who worked on the float with his wife and fellow krewemember Ava, pointed out that the giant vagina has "a lovely disco ball clitoris." This sort of thing—that is, jokes in blithely ribald bad taste, done with artisinal attachment to detail—is what Krewe du Vieux does. They did it somewhat earlier than usual this year, as the Super Bowl moved up Krewe du Vieux's parade and occasioned the Krewe's chosen theme, "Krewe du Vieux Comes Early," but it's what they always do. In the New Orleans Times-Picayune's review of the Krewe du Vieux parade, Doug MacCash notes that the Krewe "aims for eyebrow-raising, low-brow amusement and often hits the mark." Guidry was slightly more specific: "Through the years [Krewe du Vieux] has morphed itself into an adult parade and every so often genitalia seems to be sculpted." Alltmont was even more so: "There are a lot boobs, butts, cocks, balls, and vajayjays in Krewe du Vieux; we have sub-krewes named L.E.W.D., C.R.U.D.E., sPANK, and the Mystic Krewe of Spermes after all. That said, they are not always swallowing public figures."

The reason this particular genital item is eating this particular public figure has to do with with Goodell's harsh, extrajudicial and since-overturned suspensions of various former Saints after it was revealed that one of the NFL's worst defenses was also one of its most worst, with players hunting bounties for defective Cobra Kai godfather and defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. That Goodell decided to play his authoritarian card during a season in which New Orleans was hosting the Super Bowl certainly did a lot to put his stressed-looking effigy inside that giant vagina, but is finally a matter of timing. Things did come together especially fortuitously in this case—the Super Bowl's Roman numerals inspired Krewe du Vieux's "Super Hole XLVag" concept, for instance. But even if the Super Bowl had been somewhere else, Guidry and Alltmont gave the impression that, one way or another, Goodell was going to wind up inside that vagina, or in a similar situation, if indeed any similar situation can be said to exist. An early concept, Alltmont relates, was a ten-foot Saints fleur de lis with "an extra-pointy bottom tip staked in Goodell's ass." That was eventually judged untenable; the "fire-breathing scary clown we have at our fundraiser" was not available to further augment Krewe du Vieux's float due to a scheduling conflict.

And yet this still seems something like the right float at the right time, and not only because, as Guidry says, "If you ask just about anyone on the streets of New Orleans, 'Would you like to watch the demise of Roger Goodell by a giant man-eating vagina?' Their answers would be 'yes.'" There is that, of course, but there's also everything else.

Goodell, in a way that even David Stern has barely dared, has tried to bring lockstep brand-managed predictability to the NFL. From the perspective that Goodell and the league's owners—at whose pleasure and as whose proxy Goodell serves—this is a fine idea; they view the league as a profitable business, and quite logically want to extract more profits for themselves from it. And so the owners locked out players, and then locked out officials, in search of maximizing profits on the labor side of the equation; so the league continues to hunt for leverage and explore synergies and hone its own wholly false brand truths, and generally behave with the not-quite-human but extremely self-conscious rapacity of any other corporation. The entire sport is now more or less a disaster area, strewn with the human wreckage that the game makes; it is also hugely profitable, increasingly popular, and arguably more entertaining to watch than it has been at any time in the past. It's a gold mine and a Superfund site at once. In short, a strange place.

There are various different ways that Goodell and the NFL's elite could confront this reality, and shape a future—thousands of looming litigants, fading into the damage the sport inflicts; lawsuits that could humble and conceivably bankrupt even this hugely profitable league—that's marginally less bleak. This can be done, and should be done—the NFL, for all its issues, is great to watch, and would be great to watch even if more serious and less cosmetic measures were taken to protect the players who are both the league's labor and its product, both on the field and after. None of these things are easy, none of them are perfect, and none of them will fully mitigate the violence that's not so much intertwined with football's appeal as intrinsic and inherent to it. But Goodell and the NFL are not doing any of those things, not really. The NFL's owners are getting while the getting is there to get; Goodell is managing that project for them. For the moment, at least in the most basic of bottom-line senses, it's working, although we can't yet know whether the NFL is growing into another stage of rude strength or merely bloating with sickness.

This Super Bowl will not be about that. It will be about what other recent Super Bowls have been about, which is a sort of dimly understood and loudly expressed and increasingly queasy sort of community—a thing we all do together, and feel increasingly strange about doing at all. The NFL is being devoured, if not by anything quite as picturesque or amusing/horrifying to look at as a giant papier-mache vagina. No wonder that effigy looks so fucking unhappy. That's the face of someone who knows what's coming, maybe not too soon, but soon enough.


Share |

Comments

I might want to thank you for the endeavors you have made in composing this article. I am trusting the same best work from you later on too.. Slot-Tipps

There are a lot boobs, butts, cocks, balls, and vajayjays in Krewe du Vieux; we have sub-krewes named L.E.W.D., C.R.U.D.E., sPANK, and the Mystic Krewe of Spermes after all. That said, they are not always swallowing public figuresminecraft pocket edition gratis |
free psn codes

Keep doing awesome read few posts on this site and I imagine that your online journal is exceptionally fascinating and has sets of phenomenal data. elderly care in Fresno

This is genuinely an awesome read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am anticipating perusing new articles. Keep doing awesome!. phen375

Would you like to watch the demise of Roger Goodell by a giant man-eating vagina?' Their answers would be 'yes.'" There is that, of course, but there's also everything else.circulaire

New site is solid. A debt of gratitude is in order for the considerable exertion. http://www.abcmoney.co.uk

There are a lot boobs, butts, cocks, balls, and vajayjays in Krewe du Vieux; we have sub-krewes named L.E.W.D., C.R.U.D.E., sPANK, and the Mystic Krewe of Spermes after all. That said, they are not always swallowing public figuresbuilding persona's with hair

This is an extraordinary post. I like this topic.This site has loads of advantage.I discovered numerous fascinating things from this site. It helps me in numerous ways.Thanks for posting this once more. Novoline Spielautomaten
This is an extraordinary post. I like this topic.This site has loads of advantage.I discovered numerous fascinating things from this site. It helps me in numerous ways.Thanks for posting this once more. Novoline Spielautomaten

This is an extraordinary post. I like this topic.This site has loads of advantage.I discovered numerous fascinating things from this site. It helps me in numerous ways.Thanks for posting this once more. Novoline Spielautomaten

Clearly if the company works with many vendors and buyers, it is important to ensure that all of them have access to their own information and extranets can do it. Business SEO

Much thanks to you for another awesome article. Where else might anyone be able to get that sort of data in such an impeccable method for composing? I have a presentation one week from now, and I am on the search for such data. voyance gratuite amour

Hi. I discovered your online journal utilizing msn. This is a to a great degree elegantly composed article. I will make certain to bookmark it and come back to peruse a greater amount of your helpful data. A debt of gratitude is in order for the post. I"ll absolutely rebound. escorts in beirut

Good composed article. It will be steady to any individual who uses it, including me. Continue doing what you are doing – can"r hold up to peruse more posts. Buell theatre box office

Decent to peruse your article! I am anticipating sharing your enterprises and encounters. majestic theatre box office

I have perused a couple of the articles on your site now, and I truly like your style of blogging. I added it to my top picks blog webpage list and will be returning soon. If it's not too much trouble look at my site too and let me comprehend what you think. Google Cardboard Giveaway

Wonderful article! I need individuals to know exactly how great this data is in your article. It"s fascinating, convincing substance. Your perspectives are much like my own concerning this subject. san diego theatre box office

fire-breathing scary clown we have at our fundraiser" was not available to further augment Krewe du Vieux's float due to a scheduling conflict.minecraft games to play for free |
psn cards codes

Howdy, I discover perusing this article a delight. It is to a great degree supportive and fascinating and all that much anticipating perusing a greater amount of your work.. Custom Google Cardboard

This is an awesome motivating article.I am practically satisfied with your great work.You put truly exceptionally accommodating data. Keep it up. Continue blogging. Hoping to perusing your next post. movie downloads

Much thanks for this incredible post. click here

A debt of gratitude is in order for your post. I've been contemplating composing an exceptionally equivalent post in the course of the last couple of weeks, I'll most likely keep it quick and painless and connection to this rather if thats cool. Much obliged. Tree Trimming Bronx

On the off chance that more individuals that compose articles truly fretted about composing incredible substance like you, more perusers would be occupied with their works. Much obliged to you for thinking about your substance. visual oct

A debt of gratitude is in order for your understanding for your phenomenal posting. I'm happy I have set aside an ideal opportunity to see t Asilo nido bilingue

This was truly a fascinating point and I kinda concur with what you have said here! womens health

WE PROVIDE HIGH TRUST FLOW AND CITATION FLOW BLOG COMMENTS BACKLINKS WITH ON DA PA Are Citation and Trust flow metrics really a necessary statistic?There was a time when SEO was at a nascent stage and primary metrics such as Google Page Rank mattered a lot in SEO. Today, SEO has advanced far beyond the domain of Page Rank and as such, secondary metrics such as trust flow, domain authority, citation flow, etc., have taken over Google Page Rank in terms of importance as far as ranking in Google is concerned. Trust Flow

Much thanks to you for another awesome article. Where else might anyone be able to get that sort of data in such an impeccable method for composing? I have a presentation one week from now, and I am on the search for such data. womens health work out gym fitness

This is an incredible article a debt of gratitude is in order for sharing this educational data. I will visit your site consistently for some most recent post. I will visit your online journal routinely for Some most recent post. شركة تنظيف بالدمام | شركة تنظيف بالخبر

"There are a lot boobs, butts, cocks, balls, and vajayjays in Krewe du Vieux; we have sub-krewes named Lofts hampton

clown we have at our fundraiser" was not available to further augment Krewe du Vieux's float due to a scheduling conflict. St lucia 4x4 car rental

the Mystic Krewe of Spermes after all. That said, they are not always swallowing public figures." Loftplan

I think this is a better than average article. You make this data intriguing and locks in. You give perusers a ton to consider and I welcome that sort of composing. access counter

I as of late discovered numerous helpful data in your site particularly this online journal page. Among the loads of remarks on your articles. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing. Branded VR Cardboard

Much obliged to you for setting aside an ideal opportunity to distribute this data exceptionally helpful! Custom Google Cardboard

A debt of gratitude is in order for offering this quality data to us. I truly delighted in perusing. Will without a doubt going to impart this URL to my companions. kit tattoo

I take in some new stuff from it as well, a debt of gratitude is in order for sharing your data. Residential Chargers

This online journal is truly awesome. The data here will definitely be of some help to me. Much obliged!. read full report

The utilize and interest of Twitter has developed to extraordinary and amazing statures that have started an insurgency of how individuals impart and organizations showcase themselves. real twitter followers | clash of clans youtube deutsch

I take in some new stuff from it as well, a debt of gratitude is in order for sharing your data. Custom Google Cardboard

I find them interesting. And I found this one pretty fascinating and it should go into my collection. Very good work! Menswear

I truly like you're composing style, awesome data, thankyou for posting. CNG Filling Stations

Much thanks for this helpful article. I like it. Resources

I really enjoyed reading. Will surely going to share this URL with my friends. gmc terrain car covers

long history and tradition of irreverence on one side, Roger Goodell on the other—there is what's almost certain to be the most memorable image of Super Bowl XLV. made to measure mirrors

sPANK, and the Mystic Krewe of Spermes after all. That said, they are not always swallowing public figures." plus size kaftan

I read that Post and got it fine and educational. If it's not too much trouble share more like that... Google Cardboard Giveaway

Your article has aroused a great deal of positive hobby. I can see why since you have made such a decent showing of making it intriguing. Moving company in Los Angeles

every so often genitalia seems to be sculpted." Alltmont was even more so: "There are a lot boobs, butts, cocks, balls, Loftplan

also – DO now not focus on best your principal web page! On unique days, use a exclusive web page of your website online in your one-way links. seo packages pdf

Howdy! A debt of gratitude is in order for the considerable data you havr gave! You have touched on crucuial focuses! best content developer

Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon! more hints