The Spurs Problem

Tom Scharpling hates the San Antonio Spurs and he doesn't care who knows.
Share |

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

With the Spurs barreling into the second round after a painless sweep of the Jazz, I am once again forced to confront what the horror of another San Antonio championship would mean. Why am I so anti-Spurs? The 2012 iteration contains everything I should by all rights love about a basketball team: a solid mix of vets and role players all living on the same page, a coach who has become the Ron Swanson of the NBA (try not to smile as he deliberately submarines a mid-game interview), and a front office dedicated to winning titles. So why is it that the San Antonio Spurs bug the shit out of me?

The odd thing is that the Spurs were never one of the teams I disliked throughout my life. There are teams I am hardwired to love (the Knicks), teams that occupy a soft spot in my heart (the Nuggets, Cavs, and Kings), teams I’ve always felt sorry for (the Nets, Hawks, Wizards, and Blazers), and teams that I just can’t root for (the Jazz, Celtics, and any of the squads that routinely beat up the Knicks throughout the whole of my life).

I’ve always been cool with San Antonio because they were one of the four ABA refugees, all of which were marked for different strains of post-merger failure and frustration for all eternity. I felt sorry for them. This is the team of Lloyd Daniels and Dennis Rodman and Alvin Robertson, and until the arrival of Tim Duncan their greatest franchise player was George Gervin, the patron saint of glorious frustration. They were the team that would never put it together, but that was their allure. That had ABA blood coursing through their veins! They were beautiful losers, damnit! Even good things went bad for them—they’re the team that turned an MVP year for Robinson into fuel for a rampaging Olajuwon.

Remember the 1996-97 Spurs? Robinson was sidelined with a fractured foot and Coach Pop took the coaching reins from the eternally beleaguered Bob Hill so he could navigate the team through one of the biggest tank jobs in NBA history. For his sins—a ninety-year-old Dominique Wilkins was the team’s top scorer that year! Greg “Cadillac” Anderson was a starter!—he won the Tim Duncan Sweepstakes. (To be fair the Spurs tank job was actually the second biggest in league history, paling in comparison to the Boston Celtics that same season. Bring back M.L. Carr!) And within two years the snake-bitten franchise began acquiring titles every few years. Not coincidentally, that’s when the team became a fucking snooze, like a dry-drunk friend who swapped out getting loaded for collecting stamps. I get why you cleaned up your act, but did you have to go that far?

I know that the boring tag is supposedly a by-product of the team being ‘a bunch of good guys.’ But are they really good guys? The team that once brought Rodman aboard to be the resident Bad Guy in a chorus of angels eventually devolved into welcoming creeps like Bruce Bowen and Robert Horry into the fold. Remember Bowen’s chest-stomp on Chris Paul or Horry effectively taking a championship ring off Steve Nash’s finger with his still-shocking board check? But somehow they skated away from being labeled the Southwestern Jailblazers, which is a credit to the long arms of Duncan, who plays the Jeter-ized media zombie routine to the hilt but is by many accounts a seriously funny guy, changing the narrative. They’re boring, and those plays weren’t DIRTY—it was just Guys Wanting To Win! It’s a construct so sneaky and two-faced you’d almost think the team was being coached by a guy who seriously considered a career in the CIA.

But winning is winning and the Spurs have won it all four times. They’ve got their sights set on another championship this year, and it will be interesting to see if they can pull it off before the Thunder (and maybe the Clippers) take over the Western Conference. If they do, it will be ‘Tony’s team,’ the drum that Spurs fans have been beating all year. Yes, Parker is in charge and it’s undeniable that they’re playing a faster-paced game this year. (Could they have possibly played a slower one than the one they’ve been punishing us with for years?) Whether or not they outrun time this year, time will eventually run out. No matter how ingeniously Popovich controls Duncan’s minutes, no matter how many times Manu Ginobili picks himself up after another injury, it will run out.

And that’s when it’s going to get interesting. Suddenly the notion of ‘Tony’s team’ won’t hold as much water without the best power forward in league history filling up the lane and Tony’s team will look a whole lot more like the 2009 Hornets than anything. When the Big Man goes, the System goes with it. Popovich won’t be able to run his team like the NBA’s version of the NFL—no more neutralizing top shelf weirdos like Boris Diaw and Stephen Jackson!—and he’ll be one willfull player away from taking the Big Fall (see: Sloan, Jerry).

After it all falls apart, the Spurs will be forced to become something else. Who knows what the future holds; maybe they’ll pull another tank job in 2014 and land another number one pick, keeping their reign of terror alive indefinitely. But it’s much more likely that they’ll become human for the first time in almost two decades. And while they might not win as much, I’ll certainly cheer for them a lot more.

Share |


What I'm sure about is gratitude I feel for Nature that always brings good people together to keep the candle lit. project supremacy

Here you will learn what is important, it gives you a link to an interesting web page: The Red Smoothie Detox Factor

It contains wonderful and helpful posts. Keep up the good work..... delhi to jaipur cab

Nice to read this article will be very helpful in the future, share more info with us. Good job! emergency plumber west los angeles

I really enjoy simply reading all of your weblogs. Just wanted to tell you that you have people like me who appreciate your work. Definitely a great post. The information you provide is really very empire

That’s really amazing and extraordinary blogs & can help those who get issues in searching this type of information.
discount car insurance

The complete blogs are really inconceivable and definitely everyone will share this information. life insuarnce term

The stuff in the blogs blows out my mind. va online payday loans

leave your website before telling you that I truly enjoyed the top quality info you present to your visitors? Will be back again frequently to check up on new posts.vemail marketing automation software

Within this webpage, you'll see the page, you need to understand this data. Ex Factor Guide

we allow you to discover the functions and features of the ideal set up. We are also a credible directory, assisting you in finding the best auto locksmiths in your part of the country.autolocksmithusa

These things are very important, good think so - I think so too... The Woman Men Adore

why we talk about him the way we do, there are worse stories we could tell. If only to acknowledge that we’re trying to tell a story as much as we’re talking football....radiation reducing cell phone case

Travel has either been written or edited from a window seat on Metro North’s Hudson line. Unlike airlines, Amtrak offers the traveler power outlets, Wi–Fi on select routes, and the ability to use mobile phones throughout the trip...porch awnings

And as we learned in the Bush years and again in the Bundy stand-off, the state has the audacity to tape off small, restricted areas that it designates as "free-speech zones." mobile optin

I am looking for and I love to post a comment that "The content of your post is awesome" Great work garcinia cambogia canada

All the contents you mentioned in post is too good and can be very useful. I will keep it in mind, thanks for sharing the information keep updating, looking forward for more posts.Thanks iphone repair san diego

t is about the 23 random acts of kindness they did to celebrate their friend Urja's 23rd birthday! child psychologist san francisco
I was filled with gleeful joy seeing youth considering kindness as cool

On this page you can read my interests, write something special. Talk To His Heart

Keep the balls rolling!! Nice posts you have given for payday loans

This is helpful, nonetheless it can be crucial so that you can check out the following website: The Instant Switch Review

I've proper selected to build a blog, which I hold been deficient to do for a during. Acknowledges for this inform, it's really serviceable! What Men Secretly Want Review

Very nice blog and articles. I am realy very happy to visit your blog. Now I am found which I actually want. I check your blog everyday and try to learn something from your blog. Thank you and waiting for your new post. The Language of Desire

The stuff in this blog is in not only incredible but also providing the great knowledge to the people.
cash loans

Its as if you had a great grasp on the subject matter, but you forgot to include your readers. Perhaps you should think about this from more than one angle. Rocket Spanish Review

This is a site about the famous Alien parfum by Thierry Mugler. Smelling this unbelievable scent is somehow mesmerizing men throughout the world since it´s creation in the year 2005. We researched everything about this scent and tell you what you should know before buying it. Furthermore you can learn about the different nuances in the overtone, heart and base note and how long this perfume is going to last.alien parfum

Its a great pleasure reading your post.Its full of information I am looking for and I love to post a comment that "The content of your post is awesome" Great work Blog commenting service seo

I would like to thank for the efforts you have made in writing this post. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well...

Great Article dealing with back links, I find myself having trouble with creating good links to my site keep up the good twitch followers

What a really awesome post this is. Truly, one of the best posts I've ever witnessed to see in my whole life. Wow, just keep it up. Diabetes Destroyer Review

wife and also when i ran across forms site just lately additionally started off follow forms articles or blog posts. jual hajar jahanam

I feel really nice reading these articles I mean there are writers that can write good material.
عقاري جدة
دليل بروكر
موقع شعلة

The odd thing is that the Spurs were never one of the teams... fiverr blog commenting

With the Spurs barreling into the second round after a painless sweep of the Jazz... cccam server

Great post i must say and thanks for the information. Education is definitely a sticky subject. However, is still among the leading topics of our time. I appreciate your post and look forward to more California DUI Attorney

This is very interesting content! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your points and have come to the conclusion that you are right about many of them. You are great. The Venus Factor

And I hope that other readers will also experience how I feel after reading your article. garcinia cambogia

And I hope that other readers will also experience how I feel after reading your article. garcinia cambogia

Hi, I find reading this article a joy. It is extremely helpful and interesting and very much looking forward to reading more of your work. gurgaon to jaipur cab

Actually I read it yesterday but I had some thoughts about it and today I wanted to read it again because it is very well written. عقاري جدة , موقع شعلة , دليل بروكر

I am sharing it with my other friends on social networking sites, as the information is really very useful. Meliane

Thank you a lot for providing individuals with a very spectacular possibility to read critical reviews from this site.

I was very pleased to find this site.I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post. temporomandibular pain

Your composing is purely awe-inspiring that I desired to read such high quality material... native american men

It is extremely nice to see the greatest details presented in an easy and understanding manner.. help for fibromyalgia

I wanna thanks to a great extent for providing such informative and qualitative material therefore often.

important topic and ignored by so many. even professionals. professionals. I thank you to help making people more aware of possible issues.web traffic

itles every few years. Not coincidentally, that’s when the team became a fucking snooze, like a dry-drunk friend who swapped out getting loaded for collecting stamps. I get why you cleaned up your act, but did you have to go that far
hack real racing 3 android |
juwelen für clash of clans

I am always searching online for articles that can help me. There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also. Keep working, great job !

I wonderment why other professionals don't respond your website overmuch m happy I plant this.bosphorus dinner cruise