The Ballad of Johnny Football

On getting what you give
Share |

With apologies to Beethoven, in January 1999 -- known by many as the The Winter of Love -- the best song ever created sang its way into the hearts of America’s youth. The song I refer to is, of course, “You Get What You Give” by The New Radicals.  And, much to Jason White’s chagrin, on Saturday, days after his 20th birthday, Johnny Manziel won the Heisman Trophy.

These are possibly unrelated, but those who consider a freshman too precocious to win college football’s biggest award would be wise to remember a now all-too-forgotten singer called -- this is a guess, the real name has been lost to history -- Johnny New Radical.

Because for an awkward generation a decade away from occupying anything, “You Get What You Give” was the Heisman Trophy, the Bednarik Award, and a catchy emotional pep talk calling for redistribution of the nation’s wealth, all blended together into one energy drink of keeping it real.

As the Internet gave rise to a weird generational sense of communal individuality, Johnny New Radical gave the young people an anthem about being yourself, while sticking it to the man; in this case our parents -- but also mall security and the ‘Bad Rich’ -- who were all conspiring together with secret meetings, at a very exclusive cigar bar, after we went to bed.

The song begins with a rallying cry for the youth to wake up, then goes on to diagnose our greatest disease (dreaming) a decade before it began to eat us alive. He then predicts the issues of today (Health insurance, lying; Big banks, buying; Etc. Etc., multiplying.), and calls out the fakery of regular Hanson, Beck Hanson, Courtney Love and Marylin Manson, before rhyming “go to your mansions” with “kick your ass in.”  Finally, despite all that peppy doom and gloom, he pleads with us not to give up. This was a sweet, bucket-hatted Tyler Durden, who had somehow endeared his way into Top 40 Radio, except more dangerous because Project Mayhem only occasionally destroyed BMWs. Johnny New Radical smashed a Mercedes-Benz every night. Then he laughed about it until he cried.

Surely the follow-up single would unite the cosmos and end human inequity once and for all; the real life fruition of the rock and roll prophecy foretold by the Wyld Stallyns.

That second hit never hit. Wikipedia claims a New Radicals song called, “Someday We’ll Know” reached No. 45 in New Zealand in 1999, but those guys are notorious liars. The truth is, New Radicals didn’t even get a Bogus Journey. A song that rebelled against all things rico and suave got a room next door to Gerardo in One Hit Wonder Purgatory, which is the worst kind of purgatory, because they always leave the door open just enough for Hope to pop her head in.

The worst part in all this was that, way back in 1999, the ability to easily carry around MP3s was expensive witchcraft. This meant that you had to wait for two songs to be released before investing hard-earned money on an album, a function of basic adolescent economics. But “You Get What You Give” was so good that the second single could have been Johnny New Radical playing a didgeridoo in a beehive factory, a duet with Carl Lewis or a series of Limp Bizkit covers. I would have bought the album either way. The first song was that good. But I made the New Radicals earn my $15.99 with a follow up. They responded by breaking up.

New Radical himself blamed the band’s dissolution on “the fatigue of traveling and getting three hours’ sleep” and called the lifestyle “boring,” Pitchfork, suggested that “staring at years of one-hit expectations, [Johnny New Radical]’s feet got icy.” Whether it was the pressure of following up or a result of genuine disillusionment, doesn’t matter. The New Radicals forever belong to 1999. In his new career, New Radical, now going by Gregg Alexander for some reason, won a Grammy writing songs for Michelle Branch. This is great for Michelle Branch, not so much for all the broke teenagers who bought stock in his band and bucket hats. But one final time, Johnny New Radical delivered a life lesson to America’s youth about fool proof investments: a moment in the sun doesn’t always equal eternal transcendence. And that sure was nice.

***

Now, Texas A&M won’t break up, despite the fact that Johnny Manziel’s 13th Grade season was so good that we call him Johnny Football. But it’s still a lot of pressure.  Society hasn’t awarded a nickname this obvious since Tom Selleck crushed dingers, and found love, in Nippon Professional Baseball. Is it cheesy? Sure. But why fight something that feels so natural? The nickname is Manziel’s bucket hat.

There were other Heisman options: some valid, some ridiculous. (Again, Jason White: You crazy, but I totally respect it, bro). It’s the Heisman Trophy, you’ll never please everyone, the player pool is too big, and, if we’re being real, they should have thrown it all away and declared a non-year because the Smartest Man Alive forgot to turn in his ballot.

The story of the 2012 college football season won’t be completely written until the first week of 2013, so it could still be about Notre Dame and Manti Te’o representing truth, justice and Playing Like A Champion Today. And Chumbawamba could have been a better one-hit wonder. Perhaps this is the Disco Lemonade talking, but did not a great philosopher once suggest that, ‘Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end’?

This could be the beginning of Te’o’s story and it could be the end of Manziel’s. It might be neither, no one knows. This is college football, and 90’s pop, not science.

Manziel doesn’t seem like a 2012 version of Lou Bega. We’ll almost certainly have a little more Johnny Football in our lives, and that’s great. He is a turbo-mode Madden ‘04 Michael Vick and you’d ban the use of him in your dorm room. His takedown of the SEC, in Texas A&M’s first season among the Southern Gentlemen Who Rule College Football, is as subversive and status quo busting as Johnny New Radical Pied Pipering all those kids through the mall, freeing the puppies from the pet store, and capturing a mall cop with a net.

But whether he goes the way of New Radicals or Beethoven -- who actually had more hits than the ominous tune the dog barked at in the movie -- they’ll talk Johnny Football 2K12 at the Downtown Athletic Club for years to come.

Just like how in 2006, a dog year after New Radicals ruled the radio, TIME Magazine asked non-Heisman Voter The Edge if there are any songs he wished he wrote. He chose “Wonderwall” and “You Get What You Give.”

Strangely, we don’t know who The Edge, or even Bono, picked to win the Heisman, but we do know that 474 voters thought it was a good decision to reward Manziel for today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

To wait for Johnny Football to release his second single seems foolish. Not everyone gets a sequel. If two hits were easy, Archie Griffin (who has two Heismans) and The Presidents of the United States of America (who have two hit singles) wouldn’t be special.

No matter what happens, Johnny Manziel will forever be the first freshman to win the Heisman.  And eventually we can tell our grandkids about the penultimate year of the BCS era: a simpler time, when Notre Dame played Alabama for the title and we called a 19-year-old kid Johnny Football without smirking. Then I’ll tell them about the winter of ‘99, the last snowfall before Woodstock ‘99 and the Willenium, when Johnny New Radical was judge, jury, and executioner, but God still found time to fly in for the trial.


Share |

Comments

darling in the franxx hentai The best free hentai videos, lolicon, shotacon, incest, harem, hentaid Hd, ANDROID 21 watch bible black and many uncensored hentai videos

Selena gomez sexo fotos de selena gomez xxx la famosa y sus descuidos sin censura vagina de Selena gomez tetas famosas desnudas y sus descuidos

situs video porn 3 Cara Buka Situs Terblokir Internet Positif di Android, yakni dengan aplikasi VPN, dan akses situs free webproxy. Kamu bisa mengatasi situs blokir di hp dg mudah

More often than not I don't make remarks on sites, however I'd like to say this article truly constrained me to do as such. Truly pleasant post! 성기확대

Intriguing subject for a website. I have been looking the Internet for the sake of entertainment and happened upon your site. Marvelous post. Much obliged a ton for sharing your insight! It is extraordinary to see that a few individuals still invest an exertion into dealing with their sites. I'll make sure to inquire again genuine soon. Sweet Cart

I high value this post. It's elusive the great from the awful in some cases, yet I think you've nailed it! would you brain redesigning your website with more data? 해외서버

Truly an extraordinary expansion. I have perused this brilliant post. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing data about it. I truly like that. Much obliged so parcel for your assemble. NIKKEN Sverige

Download Free Xender for pc windows 7 8 8.110 Xender for PC download which will help you to connect your phone with Windows PC and will let you transfer files between the devices.Everything is set up naturally, and you will experience a very high user experience while using it.90+% of its users are recommending it to other users, which itself a great deal.

Much obliged to you for some other instructive site. The spot else might just I understand that sort of data written in such a flawless strategy? I have an endeavor that I am essentially now running on, and I've been at the look out for such data. Refrigerator Repair in service Lake Forest

there are many different book genres online but i would really love to read about self help books“ transducertechniques.com

Hurtownia odzieży i sprzedawcy detalicznego. Kup markowe ubrania luzem: Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein i więcej. Tani dostawca hurtowy. hurtownia odzieży

Thanks for the tips guys. They were all great. I have been having issues with being fat both mentally and physically. Thanks to you guys i have been showing improvements. Do post more. Haushaltsauflösung Berlin

There is such a great amount in this article I would never have considered all alone. Your substance gives perusers things to consider in an intriguing way. Much obliged to you for your unmistakable data. how to get into our sainsburys

Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually realize what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Please also seek advice from my site =). We could have a hyperlink change contract between us! best furniture stores vancouver

I can see that you are a specialist at your field! I am propelling a site soon, and your data will be extremely helpful for me.. A debt of gratitude is in order for all your help and wishing all of you the achievement in your business. ivf cost in chennai

I just want to let you know that I just check out your site and I find it very interesting and informative.. router password and username

This was a really great contest and hopefully I can attend the next one. It was alot of fun and I really enjoyed myself.. singapore wedding photographer

Die Online Druckerei bayerprint.de erstellt hochwertige Drucksachen, wie Flyer, Broschüren, Präsentationsmappen, Banner und mehr extrem gut und extrem günstig. günstig drucken

A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing this valuable data.. tipsognyheder

It turned out to be Very useful to me and I am certain to every one of the observers here! curtidas instagram

Much obliged you all that much to share these connections. Will look at this.. luxury

Much obliged you all that much to share these connections. Will look at this.. new orleans house leveling

I can set up my new thought from this post. It gives inside and out data. A debt of gratitude is in order for this profitable data for all,.. https://maps.google.com/url?q=https://bornholmsefterskole.dk

A fascinating dialog is value remark. I feel that it is best to compose more on this matter, it may not be an unthinkable theme however more often than not people are insufficient to chat on such subjects. To the following. Salud. นักสืบ

Much thanks for composing such a fascinating article on this point. This has truly made me think and I want to peruse more. tattoo removal glasgow

I have perused your web journal it is extremely useful for me. I need to express profound gratitude to you. I have bookmark your site for future redesigns. https://bornholmsefterskole.contently.com/

Flashbooking arrangement will in general benefit little and family-run lodgings so as to advance an elective the travel industry conscious of societies and distinctive social orders.Umzugshilfe Berlin

A vital segment to investigate is the coupler that appends the trailer to your vehicle.

rv dealer near me

This is only the data I am discovering all over the place. A debt of gratitude is in order for your website, I simply subscribe your online journal. This is a decent blog.. Remote Server Administration Tools download

We - Transpens Translation Team - are a full service translation team dedicated to serving Chinese-Other languages (or other languages-Chinese) translation of large and small clients. Our demanding clients have always depended on our team of experienced project managers, translators, proofreaders, editors, and graphic artists to accurately translate their written materials for almost a decade. Chinese to English translation

These are some incredible apparatuses that i unquestionably use for SEO work. This is an awesome rundown to use later on.. Leeds Beer Festival tickets

Howdy! Pleasant post! It would be ideal if you let us know when I will see a postliminary! 192.168 1 254

I can see that you are an expert at your field! I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success in your business. 사설토토

Howdy! Pleasant post! It would be ideal if you let us know when I will see a postliminary! Digital Locker Price In Bangladesh

I read that Post and got it fine and enlightening. professional development courses singapore

I appreciate everything you have added to my knowledge base.Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer.Thanks. learn forex trading

Eminently composed article, if just all bloggers offered the same substance as you, the web would be a far superior spot.. http://ttlink.com/bellaclaus

it's to an incredible degree cool blog. Interfacing is amazingly productive thing.you have truly had any sort of impact William Bronchick

Spot lets start on this write-up, I seriously believe this amazing site requirements much more consideration. I’ll more likely once again to read a great deal more, many thanks that info. gestion de propiedades

Much obliged, that was a truly cool read! houston website design

Much obliged to you for some other enlightening site. The spot else might just I understand that sort of data written in such a flawless system? I have an endeavor that I am essentially now running on, and I've been at the look out for such data. best Los Angeles Chiropractor

Hey what a splendid post I have run over and trust me I have been scanning out for this comparative sort of post for recent week and scarcely ran over this. Much thanks and will search for more postings from you. Cricket Betting Tips

Absolutely composed content material , thankyou for information . parimatch

Appreciate it for this post, I am a big fan of this internet site would like to proceed updated. comeon connect

A debt of gratitude is in order for this awesome post, i discover it extremely intriguing and exceptionally well thoroughly considered and set up together. I anticipate perusing your work later on. Escorte recomandate

Fascinating and stunning how your post is! It Is Useful and supportive for me That I like it all that much, and I am anticipating Hearing from your next.. voyance paris

I as of late discovered numerous helpful data in your site particularly this website page. Among the heaps of remarks on your articles. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing. employee benefits

I needed to thank you for this great read!! I certainly cherished each and every piece of it. I have you bookmarked your site to look at the new stuff you post. Leeds Beer Festival 2019

i read a considerable measure of stuff and i found that the method for composing to clearifing that precisely need to say was great so i am inspired and ilike to come back again in future.. wordpress sajten

A debt of gratitude is in order for imparting pleasant data to us. i like your post and all you impart to us is uptodate and very useful, i might want to bookmark the page so i can come here again to peruse you, as you have made a superb showing. Accounting ebooks