Johnny Get Your Hancock

Johnny Manziel is in trouble for taking money for autographs. The solution to this controversy is simple: sign more autographs for money.
Share |

I hold this truth to be self evident: if a second party offers you cash for nothing more than your personal signature, you have the unalienable right to sell that chicken-scratch for whatever the free market will bear.

Johnny, it’s time. Time for your boy Nate Fitch to work his phone and dial up a cannonball splash of a press conference. To hell with ESPN, to hell with CNN, to hell with Fox, go out and blast this game-changing statement on QVC. No mixed bouquet of microphones – grab your Sharpie and stand Heisman proud in front of great glass shelves of helmets, hats, and jerseys, bring along the Hooters girls and stack piles of paraphernalia from every university, pro franchise, and barbecue joint in Texas.

Show, don’t tell. Sign.

Sign every randomly proffered Horned Frogs lid, every Cotton Bowl pennant, every tee-shirt from Smokey’s and Mavericks and Stubbs. Sign until the pad of your thumb cramps and a permanent ink divot digs deep into your middle finger, sign until your entire wrist feels like it’s going to detach, melt down, burst into flames. Call it weakness leaving your body or no pain no gain or whatever cliché keeps you in motion, but sign, sign, sign. Sign. Operators are standing by. Se habla Español.

Johnny, sell every last autographed scrap because some stern-faced columnists are very upset and TV types are getting paid hundreds of dollars an hour to install their “Ma’am-I’m-afraid-we-have-some-terrible-news” faces, biting their made-up lips and slowly shaking shellacked heads as they lay out the serious allegations facing Johnny Manziel. Those faces: the drug bust face, the sexual assault face, the untimely death face, they’re making that exact same face because maybe – just maybe – you dared take ownership of your own name.

Johnny, those anchors and experts are breathing through their teeth, and with each pained inhalation they cite the damning evidence provided by some hustler who gets paid seven bucks a pop to confirm your hand-written signatures are in fact your hand-written signatures. What a country, Johnny, this country where not one of those anchors and experts has the heart to leap off their padded seat and holler: WHY CAN’T THE KID SIGNING THE SHIT MAKE A FRIGGIN’ CENT!!!

Johnny, you can be the one. The one who makes a difference, the kind of difference that may outlast everything you ever do inside the lines. You can lead the way great leaders do: by following a calling you never thought would be yours, by taking a stand you never anticipated, by finding yourself on the right side of history rather than chasing a longstanding agenda or a cynical plan. Or maybe don’t think of it that way. Maybe think of it as: fuck ‘em.

***

Don’t skulk, don’t hide, don’t rely on backroom deals and middlemen. Stand smiling firm and sell every damn autograph you can. Stand firm and force the NCAA pay a $500 p/hr suit to pace before a judge or arbitrator, force them to make a clear legal argument that the right to sell your signature extends to every man, woman, and child in the free world – or everyone except you and your immediate family.

And Johnny, while those scolds clock hour after hour deciding your fate, you can load up all those helmets, hats, and Stubbs tee-shirts, you can just set up shop right outside the damn hearing. Maybe don’t bring the great glass shelves this time – those will be heavy and breakable and you don’t need the excess overhead. Regular folding tables will do, you stand in front of those tables with your QVC cameras rolling and your operators standing by, and then you go on and sign and sell every damn thing in arm’s reach.

Then, when the lawyers come out and hand over the written decision, go run off reams of copies and sign those too.

They’ll suspend you, of course. So? How do you slip a bullrushing lineman? Let that fat bastard’s momentum take him where you used to be. They can’t suspend you if you’re already gone. And what can they physically bar you from? Another season in College Station only promises the hollowed-out, bitter alienation of knowing that every set you lift, every sprint you run, every hit you take, every droplet of sweat is cash in someone else’s pocket. Washingtons, Lincolns, and Jacksons, fat stacks of founding fathers changing hands, while the overlords (fat sacks in their own right) huff smug and make sure you know they own your ass.

Stuff the suspension and show up to the next day’s practice. Make Coach Sumlin call in state troopers to physically escort you off the field. Offer to sign the troopers’ hats. Have your boy Fitch on hand with his camera, have all those QVC operators standing by, then autograph the hell out pictures of you getting booted off the A&M field. Sell, sell, sell.

With the money you stand to make just by being Johnny Manziel, you can pay Vinny Testaverde and Chris Herren to split overnights on your pull-out sofa. Footwork first thing in the morning, motivational speeches after breakfast. No matter how you spend the next 18 months you’re never going to grow another four inches, so whether you work out with personal coaches or strap it on in the SEC, the same critical questions will hang over your 5-11 head come draft day.

Yes, of course, 18 months is a lifetime for a young guy with a potentially limitless income and no set responsibilities, so consider doing what millions of late adolescents do to avoid a permanent weekend: keep showing up to class. Mix it up – take a few courses that are practical, a few that are challenging, and then a few just for kicks. Get decent grades and then sign copies of your report card. Keep those operators standing by.

Johnny, do it for Eric Crouch and Ken Simonton, do it for Ian Johnson and Vai Taua, do it for all the athletes who happened to play the very biggest of their big money games on an NCAA stage. Do it to double the earning span of all those NFL players who won’t last beyond the proverbial 3.2 years.

Do it for Ed O’Bannon’s bum knees and his long overdue lawsuit. Do it because the greedheads in the NCAA wouldn’t think twice about kicking the most exciting player out of the game to preserve their source of free labor.

Do it to end your love/hate relationship with Twitter. Sign, sign, sign, and Tweeting will no longer be the sole medium where you have personal control of your voice. Sign, sign, sign and Twitter will just be one more tool for reaching potential customers.

Do it because you know damn well no one should prohibit you from profiting off your name and likeness. Do it because reclaiming your signature will be as freeing as breaking containment and seeing a field of wide open green.

Johnny, this is your chance to go down among the legends. Trust me – I’m not making shit by saying this. Matter of fact, not only do I not want to make money off you, Fitch can go ahead and put me down for a Horned Frogs hat, the full array of state trooper action shots, and if you keep at least a 3.0, a baker’s dozen of the autographed report cards. No need to spell my last name right or add any personal message – just sign everything Johnny Fucking Football. I’ll take it. It will be a bargain, for both of us.


Share |

Comments

I finally found magnificent post here.I will get back here. I just added your blog to my bookmark regions. thanks.Quality presents is the fundamental on welcome the visitors to visit the webpage page, that is the thing that this site page is giving. cedar roofing local companies

You re in motivation behind truth a without defect site administrator. The site stacking speed is shocking. It kind of feels that you're doing any unmistakable trap. Furthermore, The substance are ideal gem. you have completed a marvelous activity with respect to this issue! africa

I like material like this. This is a great article and I really enjoyed reading it. You have an original style that makes your ideas stand out from other writers.free movie apps for iPad

I am thankful to you for sharing this plethora of useful information. I found this resource utmost beneficial for me. Thanks a lot for hard work. http://canho-vincity-quan9.blogspot.com/2018/04/du-long-hau-tt-co-nhung-tien-ich-vuot-troi-so-voi-du-an-khac-cung-khu-vuc.html

This is a very exciting article, I’m looking for this know how. So you understand I established your web site when I was searching for sites like my own, so please look at my web site someday and post me a opinion to let me know how you feel.apk 5.04

message tgirls The goal of this site is to provide Men and Shemales a place to Meet Locals and exchange emails. After getting to know each other, Men and Shemales can meet up and some times more! We are committed to helping men meet local Shemales. With the most comprehensive site of services and information, accurately representing the Trans community.

Nice to be visiting your blog once more, it has been months for me. Well this article that ive been waited for therefore long. i want this article to finish my assignment within the faculty, and it has same topic together with your article. Thanks, nice share. Website Design

Escort Classifieds Local Australian independent escorts, massage and adult services with photos. Post free ads with pics.

Awesome article, it was exceptionally helpful! I simply began in this and I'm becoming more acquainted with it better! Cheers, keep doing awesome! ramadan mubarak in arabic text

I think this is an informative post and it is very useful and knowledgeable. therefore, I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. Hypnos för sömnbesvär

I really like your writing style, great information, thankyou for posting. Test Bank for Psychology 4th Canadian Edition by Schacter

cửa nhôm việt pháp Việt Phong là đon vị hàng đầu trong phân phối các sản phẩm như cửa nhôm việt pháp, cửa kính thủy lực ..... được khách hàng đánh giá rất cao về chất lượng. Các sản phẩm của Việt Phong hiện đã có mặt tại rất nhiều các công trình và ngày càng dược tin tưởng sử dụng..

Great Article it its really informative and innovative keep us posted with new updates. its was really valuable. thanks a lot. Trade show backdrop

situs agen poker online Becoming a PokerOnline player couldn’t be easier thanks to our free to use software and simple download process. Download now and start playing on your PC. We’re also available on a wide range of other platforms, so whether you’re a Mac, iOS or Android user, we’ve got you covered! Select ‘Create your Stars Account now’. You will be asked to create a Stars ID (username) and password. Then select ‘Next’ to proceed to the ‘Your Player Details’ section. Enter a valid email address, select your country of residence, and agree to the terms of the agenpoker.online End User License Agreement. Then simply select ‘Create Account’!

Badrenovierung Nürnberg Herzlich Willkommen bei der FEPA Badsanierung GmbH... Wir liefern Ihnen eine Wellnessoase zum Pauschalpreis Telefonische Beratung kostenlos ✆ 0176 58456173 badsanierung.center... Badsanierung München Regensburg Ingolstadt Badsanierung, wir bieten Komplett-Lösungen aus einer Hand. So betreuen wir unsere Kunden von der Beratung über die Planung bis hin zur Montage und zuverlässigen Wartung. Selbstverständlich unterstützen wir auch Selbstbauer mit unserem professionellen Fachwissen. In uns finden Sie einen zuverlässigen Partner rund um die Sanitär- und Installationstechnik! Informieren Sie sich ganz bequem online über unsere Leistungen und unseren Service. Wir arbeiten ständig an der Optimierung unserer Leistungen und möchten unsere Seiten so benutzerfreundlich wie möglich gestalten. Für konstruktive Kritik und Ihr Feedback sind wir daher dankbar. Schreiben Sie uns dazu doch einfach eine kurze Mail! Badsanierung München | Regensburg | Ingolstadt | | Wir beraten Sie vor Ort | kostenlos | | 0176 58456173 | unverbindlich anfragen

Arab sex video The Way to Find a Fantastic Muslim Pornography Websit... Not just, although it has Arab sex! The domain sexjk.com should make you believe this is the sole kind of entertainment you will get, but it would appear that it's (more or less) a normal tube. It's rare! Rare to be able to find great porn that is Arab . Even better, it's pretty rare to discover a nice site with a layout which will allow you to navigate between the pages easily and without issues. It's an site which has arab content. If all of their videos are with chicks doing things, I am not really certain, but a big part of these for certain are. The homepage of SexJK.com will give you the updates and I've observed many babes with big titties! Natural, like those which you see on women, found on the street! I like them organic, as long as they are big! Who the fuck likes tits?

Pkv Games Download Pkv Games Apk Android merupakan icaran setiap pada pemain Games Poker V atua kita sebut Aplikasi Download Pkv Games. Biasanya Anda susah sekali untuk masuk dan lihat Aplikasi apa sih..? dan Pkv Games apa sih…? Dengan lihat foto di bawah ini langsung Download Pkv Games di Login Site : WINNIPOKER.COM atau WINNI.POKER sangat muda dan gampang sekali bermain dan Download Poker V dimana pun dan kapan pun.

english cam girls You can spend all day searching for live cams, or you can enjoy them. They come in any age and type: young and mature, curvy and thin, blondes and redhead. Your time would be best spent enjoying them. You can even get dirty with these girls. This is the closest thing to online sex that you’ll ever enjoy. There’s no need for you to look any further for a sexy girl to chat it up with. Not when this site is loaded with more than you’ll ever be able to talk to.

Celebrity Sex Tape Find Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner & Other Celebrity Sex Tapes Here! Milf, POV, College, Anal Porn & More!

arab sex videos شاهد أفلامًا وأفلامًا وأفلامًا مجانية ... ولمزيد من المعلومات ، انتقل إلى موقعي على الويب https://sexaya.com

These are the great blogs; I assure you that I really enjoyed a lot in reading.
construction company

Excellent website! I adore how it is easy on my eyes it is. I am questioning how I might be notified whenever a new post has been made. Looking for more new updates. Have a great day! foundations of finance 9th edition

hung phat green star canhogreenstars.com là đơn vị hàng đầu cung ứng căn hộ Hưng Phát Green Star. Dự án được dự đoán sẽ vô cùng bùng nổ, là kênh đầu tư hấp dẫn nhất cũng như là nơi đáng sống nhất hiện nay nhờ các tiện ích đồng bộ đi kèm

can ho green star canhogreenstars.com là đơn vị hàng đầu cung ứng căn hộ Hưng Phát Green Star. Dự án được dự đoán sẽ vô cùng bùng nổ, là kênh đầu tư hấp dẫn nhất cũng như là nơi đáng sống nhất hiện nay nhờ các tiện ích đồng bộ đi kèm

Túi da nam cao cấp Các sản phẩm túi da nam, cặp da công sở, balo da bò, túi da đeo chéo, túi cầm tay của Lazio Leather được làm từ da thuộc thật nguyên miếng 100%. chất liệu da mềm mại, dẻo dai, bền, đẹp mang lại sự sang trọng và tạo nên sự đẳng cấp

killa raketa porn In orgasmnaut you can find group orgasmatrix videos, free brazzer videos, free loveherfeet, evilangel hd, anal brazzer porn videos, teensex and even a good sex with russian beauties, this is only a small part of what you can enjoy by visiting our site. Join us on the web's fastest growing site and find the most desired pornstars on the planet.

I absolutely benefit from only browsing your whole weblogs. led light up shoes

Fuck Snap These chicks are looking for casual sex and discreet affairs. Women you know are sharing their naked pictures on our website. You may recognize them from places like work, the market, or the gym. Registration is 100% FREE.

poker domino winnipoker is an online poker indonesia site that uses the best pokerv games server that can be played on your android / ios phone with real money, Winnipoker as a trusted online poker site 2018 always try to give the best service to all member. To make this happen winnipoker provides the best Customer Service service for 24 hours nonstop, and we offer a bonus cashback of 0.5% to every member without any conditions every day, follow and register now.

You have done a great job. I will definitely dig it and personally recommend to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this site.http://uid.me/tomas_green

קידום בקליקים – למה כדי ומומלץ להשתמש באסטרטגיה הזאת? I’m grateful for the blog post. Want more.

I love enemas orange county ca This blog is for anyone living or traveling to Southern Ca in Orange County - Irvine, Beaches or LA and San Diego that loves kinky fun enemas, spanking, rectal temperatures.

best x channel Block xxx Chain online - watch top adult models in the best videos presented only for you.

wanting sex Meet hot young girls in your area who are looking for one night stands.

Cum on body Escort Bureau Classic is 100% betrouwbaar. Onze unieke klanten staan bij ons op nummer 1 en wij zullen er alles aan doen om deze discreet en professioneel te behandelen. Wij garanderen u dat u zonder zorgen kunt genieten van uw boeking.

Take pleasure in people expressing, excellent content post. Great. Machos Gracias for the blog. Genuinely many thanks! May read through on. Excellent post. Significantly many thanks again. Definitely Great.
seo extension for Magento 2 enterprise

Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly that love and read more on this topic. If possible, such as gain knowledge, would you mind updating your blog with additional information? It is very useful for me. nursing test banks

Remarkable video, actually a pleasant quality, this YouTube video touched me a lot in terms of features.
global asia printings

Awesome post, in point of fact looking focus on to edit more, keep writing, I in reality enjoy the post. Much thanks again, Fantastic, Thank you for your blog article, in point of fact thank you, truly Great.
Friv 4

yesporn Yesporns Porno 93 Pornohub – Yesporn – Hqporner porno & HDfree brazzer Porno Movies , brazzers Porn, Porno Sex xnxx Videos, Pornohub Yesporner Yesporn

I am always searching online for articles that can help me. There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also. repairing a dental crown or bridge

I would like to say that this blog really convinced me to do it! Thanks, very good post. Workers compensation quote in Orlando

Awesome article, it was exceptionally helpful! I simply began in this and I'm becoming more acquainted with it better! Cheers, keep doing awesome! Accounting solutions

desi hot clips The Biggest and original Desi Indian Porn Videos , Indian home made scandals,porn videos & desi sex mms. Download daily desi girl sex videos, aunties home made sex videos, xxx scandals and more.

freeporn Free porn sex videos & xxx movies. Watch unlimited porn videos on XPornPlease, download sex videos or stream free yespornplease and free sex xnxx porn movies.

I admire what you have done here. I like the part where you say you are doing this to give back but I would assume by all the comments that this is working for you as well. private investigation agency

Live sex cam girls Follow your favorite cam girls online.

here Gay sex pics, lots of horny guys love to suck hard dicks. Tons of high quality gay photos.

I wrote about a similar issue, I give you the link to my site. cheap essay writing service

teen xxx dvds Adult XXX DVDs offers a huge range of the latest and best selling adult X-rated DVD movies with same-day shipping Australia0wide.